Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

how to protect my brother as and sister from a verbally abusive mother

I 15 years old, my brother is 5 and my sister is 3. My mother is a good mother, but about once every two months my brother does something stupid like break one of my controllers or push my sister and she gets really mad. she yells at my brother and locks him in a room or outside, and an hour later she lets him in, cries in front of my brother and blames him for everything, she won't let him walk away. My dad gets home around 6, it ussually keeps up until this time or for about 4 hours. I try to stay out of it but I can't. What should I do?
7 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
3060903 tn?1398565123
It's great that you came here for some support for yourself. In your own right, you have suffered from this verbal abuse, and it's important to get to know others, and how they've dealt with the fallout, like lack of empathy. I sure did lack empathy myself, for the same reasons, but I didn' have it figured out at 15, so good for you son, you can do something about this not affecting you going forward. And the best thing that you could possibly do is to talk to someone at length about how this verbal abuse has made you felt when you were younger, and how it's affecting you now. There are really good guidance counsellors in many schools that are educated, maybe have gotten into therapy for a living after having experienced abuse themselves, that you could open up to, and maybe help yourself from acquiring problems down the road, you know? Just to be heard is SO important. This has to be about you too~

I'm sorry that your dad seems to need a video , I mean it's the best way to document any abuse, by all means, but that puts you at risk of getting caught taking the video, right? Does it scare you to think about having to take a video without your mom knowing it?  That's a lot of responsibility to be putting on your shoulders, and my concern is why your dad would not take you on your word? why would you lie about this? I guess he's like a scientist and needs his own proof to do something? It is better to have definitive proof, no doubt. I want you to know that I'm very proud to know you, and to know that would go to the lengths of taking a video of the verbal abuse to try and make it stop. You're very brave , and your brother and sister are so lucky to have you.

Please, let us know how it works out? and if you go for guidance counselling? Is this affecting your grades do you think?? All the more reason to talk to a guidance counselor if the answer is yes. I'd hate for this to affect your SAT's or college hopes and dreams. It would be a crying shame. I'm here if you need to talk . LIz
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am well aware of the effects of verbal abuse in a child, this is my mother too and she also raised me, this had caused mild forms of sociopathy in me, mostly lack of empathy, which is why I want to stop this. However the last thing I want is to see my mom go to rehab/prison because I know she is a good mother.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
And my dad is aware but he does intervene unless he witnesses the abuse with his own eyes/ears. And he usually stops it before my mom completely loses it so he never sees all of it, he told Me to record it next time it happens which I definitely will but I still wanted to get anonymous help from someone outside it all.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
She did but she was diagnosed with depression, she had me at rather you age,
24 and she had nor even graduated college at the moment
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Do you fear for your brothers health safety either physically or mentally? If so. Tell someone. It's not the kind of environment for a child to grow up in. I know. It was like that for me. I developed a list of mental disorder because of it and I've attempted to take my life 4 times. I'm not saying this will happen but when I child is this young anything can happen.
Helpful - 0
3060903 tn?1398565123
Incidentally, can you remember your mother treating you this way when you made a mistake when you were younger? The most important thing to get across is that your mom is a good mom (otherwise), that would be where to start. "I can't ever remember you doing to me what you do to my brother , when I made a mistake growing up. I'm worried about how this is going to affect my brother when he's an adult. Is he going to be able to say that he had a great mom, or is he going to have problems with being yelled at when he's younger. How much does a child learn really, when they are being yelled at this way? " Out of the mouths of babes...

You are just about grown up now, and it's good that you care about anyone that cannot fend for themselves, or you feel that they are being abused. Please, never lose this quality. It's what makes you very special indeed. God bless you. NH.
Helpful - 0
3060903 tn?1398565123
Hi there, i'm sorry that you're feeling so upset about how your mom is acting, and how your dad is allowing your mom to act with your little brother. Talking to children is far better for them than to get hysterical .

If it were me, and my life was not in danger, I would probably write a letter to my mom and tell her my feelings on the subject. Often parents act like their in a vaccuum and they don't realize that they are also being watched and judged on their actions. You're mom may be under stress, but it's no excuse to treat a child in this manner. There are better ways to let a child know that their actions are hurting others. To hurt them in turn only confuses the issue. You're on the right track reaching out, your kid brother and sister are lucky to have you. You'll get many more replies. Take some time to make sense of it, and somehow get through to your mom. Maybe after you have calmly written down some points for you to get across, you can share it with your father? Or is he aware of this ; and party to it also?
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Abuse Support Community

Top Relationships Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
3060903 tn?1398565123
Other
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.