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1475197 tn?1297359746

i need help bad

my mum keeps telling me i need to honor her as god said in his commandments but yet still she doesn't want me in any kind of relationship she says no the person is never good enough or they are unequally yoaked  or if i go into that relationship our relationship will end she knows the bible like the back of her hand and uses it against me to suit her i am in a relationship with a guy that worships the ground i walk on and she suspects that we are together but she's not sure but she told me the other day if i go with him she will disown me i love my mother i'm her only child and my father is dead and i don't want to leave her alone but i know if i go she will not accept anything i offer her because she is badminded
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535822 tn?1443976780
I am sorry , I see you are living in another country so you may have differant views than us here in the US ..I am assuming you are an adult as you have a boy friend.I have to tell you things may never change with the way your mom thinks and her beliefs.You wont be able to change her or her mind all you can do is change how you deal with it.It amounts to the fact you need to respectively stand up to her, tell her how you feel, how you need a life ,if she says she will disown you, so be it, I expect that will come round anyway as your mom. There is only one way , you move into your own place and lead your own life,has she any reason to think that your new friend is not the right man for you ? Not easy is it, but maybe its time to stand up to her and start to have your own life ..good Luck  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You do not tell your age but you sound young. I would say to you, that while under your mothers roof, you need to honor her wishes and abide by them. Once you are out on your own, it is your business and you will live life as you see fit. Aside from the bible, Moms do tend to know these things and if you disagree you will be on your own soon enough.
Helpful - 0
1473197 tn?1287164059
how old are you? i had to hide my relationships from my mom when i was a teen. my mother didn't use religion to control me, instead she used her money, that she would cut me off, not pay for my school. it didn't stop me from doing what i wanted, it only stopped my from having a good open relationship with her.... if only she knew that was what she was creating... living a secret life eventually lead me to problems. looking back i wish my mom and i had a better relationship, open communication, etc... good luck
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535822 tn?1443976780
Could you tell us your age , I assumed from the gist in your post , that you were older, it does make a differance as if you are a young teen of course you should stay with your mom ...
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Avatar universal
You are your mother's crutch. You are her only child and since your father passed, you have become her only source of entertainment in every way. That's bad. She is afraid of losing you if you become involved with anyone. If you have no one else then she has you all to herself. That is sad and selfish. She may threaten to disown you but I seriously doubt that she would. She at this time, doesn't realize that if you found someone special, maybe one day you would marry and even give her grandchildren and then she would have an overabundance of love. I have a feeling your mother is a very scared woman and doesn't want to be alone and is so afraid of losing you, that she will say anything to you that might keep you with her. But she really should not use the Bible to browbeat you. Yes, you should honor your mother but believe me, God isn't going to be disappointed or angry with you if you find a boyfriend. Your mother might, but God won't.
God Bless You.
Helpful - 0
757137 tn?1347196453
Go and be happy with your own true love. Your mother is afraid of losing you and is probably bluffing. But that is her problem. My guess is that she will not disown you.
Helpful - 0
1388445 tn?1289267388
I am sorry to hear your complications. Im sure that your mom is going through her own things, she probly lost your dad and now she is scared of loosing you if you date and leave. and im also sure that her faith is improtant to her too, probly even more once she had to deal with your fathers death. My Husbands Mother was like that when i met him (my mother in law, now) she was so dead set about religion and that we had to be equally yolked and in the same church and all this stuff, but nothing i did was enough. I was already relious (the same religion as them) and "equal" She was the same, he was the youngest son she lost her older son and his father and wasjust scared that id be some kind of no good for him. Parents worry. It took us persistance and like 3 years befor she liked me! :) Lol! But if you really love him, Try! Can you try to find a happy medium, like can your boyfriend go to church with you. Yes the bible does say to honor your mother and father, respectfully you will also grow up and start your own life ( hopefully founded in God) thats not disrespect it has to happen. It will be alright, try to hang in there. God Bless and Good Luck!
Helpful - 0
1475197 tn?1297359746
hey guys thanks for the advice now got your response by the way i was 32 a week ago i spent brought in the new year with my boyfriend he loves me so much it frightens me how can he love me so much.. and he has gone to church with me but he said he want to change the church seeing that my mum only studies him and not god.
as for my mum she did reach a point where she hit me.
my boyfriend got so angry he said no one is suppose to hit me but he is so sweet he told her nothing when he saw her he kept his feelings inside and i saw it in his face he wanted to tell her off.
i stayed with him for two weeks last year my god they were the best now i am back home with mum my choice not his i am fighting with the fact that she grieves when i'm not there my boyfriend told me i should just visit everyday but don't stay i know he is right but i just can't leave i don't know why and i'm scared that he will not stand this for long OH! and he asked me to marry him.
i want to god knows i do but i know my mum will have a fitt what should i do?
Helpful - 0
535822 tn?1443976780
Marry him, and visit your mom ...he sounds like a good man he will look after you for sure, once you are married your mom will come to accept you in a differant light, its good and caring that you want your mom to feel happy, however it is your life not hers . Follow your heart always ..good luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sounds bad if your mother hit you.  I would consider marrying him either that or getting out and living on your own and continuing your relationship.
Helpful - 0
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