is this abuse?

[cubsfan22]

my fiance and i broke up about two months ago when i finally called the cops after he pushed me and sexually assaulted me. he had been violent for about a year, and i put up with it and igored it and believed i deserved it. my question is that he told me i verbally abused him. he was a liar, and when i'd catch him in a lie, instead of leaving like i should have, i'd get mad and call him an f-ing liar or coward. he said my verbal abuse is what made him violent.

around christmas, he stood me up at a party. when i got home, i was mad and broke two of his video games and threw his clock out the window. when he got home, he was pissed and told me it was abusive of me to break his things. those are the only things of his i have ever destroyed. i realize that instead of getting mad at him for lying and b.s.ing me, i should have just left. but i never thought i was abusing him. i have never tried to control him or make him do anything. i just got mad and yelled and then calmed down and apologized. but maybe i'm wrong and that was abuse?

[margypops]

Thats good to hear , plenty of good kind guys out there, you are doing the right thing ...good luck to you

[cubsfan22]

thank you everyone. i have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow. i don't plan to ever see him again or go back to him. i do realize i need to control what i say and not be so angry sometimes, but i never thought of it as i was abusing him. i was just mad for being lied to or b.s.ed or otherwise disrespected. i think he is a huge coward, and i feel like an idiot for staying with him as long as i did...

[Orphananny]

He us abusive.  Get out and stay out.  Find out what it is that attracted you to guys like this.  If you do not, you will find another.  Take this from an surviver of abuse.

[margypops]

I agree there is never any excuse for hitting he is abusive, you could also use some control in what you say, however that gives him no license to use physical intimidation .

[trdofbeingtrd]

This is ONLY opinion here.

It's not right to treat a person badly including publicly humiliating them. However, he is completely b.s.ing you and there is NO excuse for a man to physically strike a woman. Sexual assult is also another coward thing.

The guy is a loser and an abuser, he will only continue to hurt you more.

IF you think you were harsh to him or mean to him, learn from your mistakes and know you should not treat people in that way.

Stay away from this guy, and don't swallow the lies he is claiming.