men and women

[jo929]

I do not see to many men on this forum, and was wondering if you think that a girl has a harder time getting over physical abuse than a boy does i have talked with lots of men and women, but the men seem to want to just put it behind them, and i know that it must be hard. i also know that a woman that is saving herself for marriage has a hard time  in fact they all do what are your feelings on this subject, also a lot of the men have married and now have familys as some of the women, but mostly you only hear about the womens abuse we cant see into the peoples mind, but has anyone talked or know men that have been abused and what do you think, i know this is a \touchy subject, but one i feel strongly about since you read about so many boys being molested

[heyjude1]

I agree with the above.  Sometimes I wonder if it doesn't effect men more than women.  By this I mean that women are more confortable talking about feelings and emotions and probably feel a little safer than men to speak of sexual abuse.  Since women tend to speak about their feeling more freely they probably seek professional help more often or work things out quicker by talking to someone they trust.

[iam1butterfly]

I think that men handle abuse somewhat differently than women. For many, it's a profoundly difficult admission of victimization and weakness which, in their minds, might be deemed as being... unmanly. I think for that reason, they're less likely to seek clinical help, let alone discuss abuse in any deep or meaningful way.

[margypops]

Yes they do get molested mostly by other boys and men but I think a lot of times they put it behind them or deny it, I do believe that they have problems wirh a' Normal' intimate married life at times ..and repercussions from the Physiology of abuse ...

[jo929]

thanks so much for you input, i hear about all of the boys being molested, but they do not say much, and i fel so sorry that i can do nothing to help, it is a shame the man was not punished, it sounds like you are coming along well hang in there  thanks again  jo

[narla]

I've got a very close male friend who was sexually and physically abused while in foster care in Australia,the government is now organizing compensation for these children/now adults,there are forms that need to be filled in he won't even look at them and refuses to discuss the matter with anyone.He never wants anyone to know his foster father was still having sex with him at 16 it started when he was 8.No matter how often you reassure him it wasn't his fault he believes because he got to 16 and was still letting it happen it was his fault.It only stopped when he ran away and found his real father who was an alcoholic,but that was better than the abuse.He ran away 3 times before and every time he was found and given back to the foster family.He is so shamed by what happened he won't discuss it,The only reason he told me is because he knew what I was going through due to my abuse and he was drunk,he regretted telling me later but I reassured him I'd never say anything.He has never gotten over the abuse he just uses alcohol to numb his feelings-Which is the same as I was doing plus using codeine until 145 days ago.  Denise