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rape trauma disorder affecting current relationship

I was raped when i was 6 years old. I've had nightmares since then very frequently. There are days when it bothers me so much that i dont want to be touched. I recently rushed into a relationship with my current boyfriend and i lost my virginity to him. Eerything was going fine until i thought i was pregnant. I ended up being 8 weeks along when i miscarried due to severe stress. I was fine after that for quite a while but recently the nightmares have gotten worse and i ended up having to tell him i didnt want to have sex any more and that i felt rushed in the physical aspect of our relationship. I said that we could still do other things but i've gotten to where i dont want to be touched at all ever anymore. I know its not a problem with him, its with me. Im just not sure where to go from here... im out of ideas but i dont want to lose him after all this time. What do i do now?
4 Responses
3360193 tn?1365871889
It sounds like you are possibly suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, which is common after being sexually assaulted.   As you were so young when it happened, you would be less likely to recieve counselling - did you?    Have you ever sought professional help to deal with your thoughts and anxiety round sexual activity?    It's common to be scared and nervous about having an intimate relationship after a sexual asault, I was raped when I was 21 by someone that I knew, and I broke up with my then-boyfriend shortly thereafter.    Although I didn't get professional counselling afterwards, I do have an excellent friend network who helped me through.    And I was able to help my friend when she was raped on holiday two years later.    HAve you told your boyfriend what happened to you?     Maybe you should sit down and speak to him about what happened to you.    I did that with my BF, we had been together for 3 months before I told him and it was the hardest thing I have ever done, but he accepted it, helped me through and helped me to get my confidence levels right back up and we now have a two month old baby, and it's coming up 5 years since we got together.      Feel free to PM me if you want :)   As well as personal experience if sexual assault, I've also done my Psychiatric Nursing Degree x
973741 tn?1342342773
Hi there, agree with mommabear that you sound like you have symptoms of ptsd.  Is counseling an option?  YWCA's offer services to women and many counseling centers offer sliding fee scales for those without insurance.  There are also clinics for counseling.  It would be so helpful.  PTSD responds really well to a combination of counseling and medication.  the medications these days are really well tolerated.  I know luvox is one often used and have heard good things about.  

How supportive is your boyfriend?  This is hard stuff.  You are dealing with BIG things after the rape.  I would be very open with him that you are suffering right now BUT are working on it and wANT your relationship to go back to normal.  Hopefully he will see you trying to work on this and will stand by you.

Hard stuff and I'm so sorry you've had to go through any of it.  peace and hugs
Avatar universal
I've not had the opportunity to recieve counselling for it. I do have a very good friend who was also raped around the same age as i was. I have told him and for the most part he understands. He was sexually abused by a family friend and i think he expects me to be able to deal with it as easily as he did but i cant. I do understand that its ptsd and i'vebeen looking for help.
973741 tn?1342342773
It's hard hon.  I'm wondering if you could even take the medical route first.  For ptsd, there is a checklist to be diagnosed and a medical doctor does that and treats for it.  Is there any way you can talk to your doctor?

I am sure he is eager to have things feel 'normal' but this takes time.  Just keep communicating with him.  What you are feeling is real and valid and sex should be mutually enjoyed.  You'll get back to that but have to deal with the aftermath of the rape first.  I wish you so much luck.  I am glad you have a friend to talk to.  Consider if you can find a way to do counseling as that would be wonderful for you.  peace
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