Addiction: Alcohol/Drug Rehab Community
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Avatar universal

Please help me help my son

I have just recently been made aware that my 20yr old son has been shooting heroin on a regular basis for a/b a yr straight. This devastates me to no end. I feel like someone I was close to died. The most important part of this is the fact that my son & his gf are expecting their 1st child in June. I have begged & pleaded w/my son to get the help he so desperately needs, even offering to pay for it, but he refuses to go to treatment. So I turned to his gf begging her to booting him out of their apt so that he will have no choice but to go (we refuse to allow him to stay in our home due to what he's done over the last 6yrs & he's lost every friend he ever had as well) & get treatment. She's a good girl & has never done drugs or anything but she refuses to kick his butt to the curb so that he has no choice but to go to an inpatient program. She just will not support us in trying to get him clean & sober before his daughter is born in June. To me, I think she's as unfit of a parent as he is by allowing him, his drug use & his violent behavior to sleep under the same roof. I have cut all ties w/my son due to his addiction & I refuse to sit back & watch the impact his drug use is going to have on his little girl. I just don't think I can deal & I need help as to what to do, or things to try so that my Grandaughter & her mother are safe & out of harms way. Of course I'm extremely concerned for my son & have done everything I possibly could to help him but there's an innocent child coming into the picture & her mother doesn't seem to want to provide her w/a healthy stable environment, so I don't know what to do. I'm up all night every night researching heroin addiction, recovery statistics, etc....& I am terrified that I'm either going to end up burying my son or my Grandaughter b/c of his love for heroin, which has now become what he needs to survive. I'm to the point now that I just want to walk away & never look back. I feel like that's our only choice as far as our family is concerned. We can't take another min of him stealing f/m us, his own parents & younger siblings & exposing us to his addiction. I've told him that the only call I'll accept f/m him is the one he asks for help & agrees to rehab. I have washed my hands of this otherwise. Am I doing the right thing here? Anyone who's been in my shoes, I need your input. I'm overwhelmed w/fear of doing the wrong thing.
7 Responses
Avatar universal
hi there, i was in a similar situation myself about and a half ago. i had lost most my friends, my family lost faith in my and i had lost faith in myself. I went to the waismann method in southern california and it changed my life. its an ultra rapid detox center in southern california performed in a hospital. They get the opiates out of your system while youre asleep so you feel no pain, then afterwards they take you to this place called domus where you stay for as long as you need but normally about 5 days (thats how long i stayed). anyways at domus they follow up with therapy, counseling, anger management, and give you tools you need to move on. This was a fantastic experience and i would recommend it to anyone who wants to change their life like i did. I'm now 21 years old, productive, close to my family, and most importantly healthy. I would recommend giving waismann a call, it changed my life. best wishes to you and your family
Avatar universal
If you know he using...call the cops. I know hes your son and it would be so hard to do but you are at your whits end but maybe that might be a kick he needs. He would never know you called. I see a lot of people come through the impatient detox center I work at because they got arrested and have to go to a detox center and or rehab. Might be worth a try.
Avatar universal
I'm so sorry you have to go through this.  It must be very difficult.  My friends in recovery would tell you that you are doing the right thing.  You are very strong. hang in there and I hope your son gets help.  
Avatar universal
Thank you all! I'm following up on all of the comments here, which have all been helpful. Thanks again. I'm finding a lot of support & feedback here & I appreciate it more than I could ever express. It helps so much...
Avatar universal
Is this place free? My son is 20 and I have nothing to help pay for tx. He is on heroin and asked for help and I can't help him!!! I want to but I have nowhere for him to go get help. I'm in northern cali.
Avatar universal
its really sad to know the condition of your son & how you dealing with it, but i suggest you to take help from Cops to take him to rehab centers forcibly & be with him till the time he recovers from this problem. There is no other way to bring him to rehab centers, since he is not only finishing his & his gf's life but the unborn's life too.
Avatar universal
A person using heroin is not in his usual self any more.So there is no point in arguing with him.Try to take him a rehabilitation centre forcibly.Just think that its not your son arguing with you.If you get into such thing withdrawal is very difficult. Prolonged exposure to drugs alters the brain in ways that result in powerful cravings and a compulsion to use. These brain changes make it extremely difficult to quit by sheer force of will. So if you fear that your son is addicted to drugs then don’t wait, take his to a drug addiction treatment centre!!!
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