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hopeless

I have takin tabs n vyvance for 4 yrs. i never thought i would b the addict, i did go 25 yrs never doing any drugs. But after my 3rd n last child i began tabs for headaches. Now its for everything! Its horrible to not have control of ur life or body. Idk wut tu do anymore! I tried detox at a hospital n hated it, i felt belittled n dumb. Im so scared to leave my children i break down n tears thinkin of it. My daughter cant leave my side. She will b devistated if i leave her. She dosent understand. This is keeping me frm treatment. I cant find an affordable suboxone dr close by. I want out of this misrable life n get bk to normal. I see ppl free from addiction and i get angry cuz i want that n cant get it. I try n try til i give up over n over w no recovery. Help
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Avatar universal
U have to keep at.  I can't tell u how many times I've laid in bed with my youngest son and watched him sleep and just cried because I know what I'm doing is not good..  I've been tabs free for 3 days now.  I'm still tired and everything is achey, but I know I have to do this for them..  I'm in the same boat, I couldn't leave them for detox, there's no way.  If u can't do it for yourself, do it for them!  There are so many people here willing to offer advice..  
2730764 tn?1340148833
my prayers are with you,some how you have to do this for your children,i no this is hard,man my prayers are so with you,god please lay your hands on her and help, you no all our needs.you said you would never give us more than we can handle,god plz help.....may god be with you.....
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