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Avatar universal

want to get off the meds myself...Help

I'm sure my story is prob the same as everyone else on these meds....well it started in 2006 after a few years of pain in the base of my skull and neck....I went to my GP and after physical therapy and a numbers of nsaids, etc etc....he put me on Morphine SR and Loratab.....long story short I was on 90 mg of Morphine a day --- 30 mg 3 x a day and Loratab 10 mg 3 x a day for break through pain.....btw he didn't start me out on this high dose it gradually increased to this amt but it helped so much....but in the mean time I've been wanting to get off all the meds I feel like an addict and don't want to feel this way anymore....Ive never doctor shopped and have always seen the same doctor for this problem....so now my doctor has decided to go into administration at the hospital and no longer sees patients in the office and his associates doesnt do pain management ...so he work me a very nice letter telling any future doctors I see that Im not abusing drugs never have and only use what he gives me and the same pharmacy...so i thought seeing a pain management doctor would be the answer for me I must have picked the wrong one for sure because he doesn't want to prescribe me any meds at all and said he def couldn't give me what i have been on....excuse me I thought they were suppose to help you boy was i wrong in this case...I said long story short but i guess it isn't because I have so much more to say.....so when i found out my doc was leaving his practice I decided myself to cut back on the morphine...I started taking 1 30 mg in the am and 1 30 mg at night....i was down to 2 Loratab a day 1 10mg am 1 10mg pm but not at the same time i was taking the morphine....the first day it was awful I felt like i was getting the flu aching all over nose running and bad yawing sorta thing....guess it's the classic withdrawals ....also since my GP knew he was leaving the practice he gave me 3 months worth of Morphine and 5 months with of Loratab to last me till I could find another doctor which would have been very helpful but the government decide to take away any scripts that have hydrocodone in it so I lost 4 months worth of the Loratab.....no happy about that can't understand how the government can regulate what the doctor gives you its crazy....so my other problem is Ive had Kidney problems since I was 19 years old when I had to have the lower lobe removed because of so many stones and every 2 years after that Ive had to have lithotripsy to crush the stone...that being said my kidney had eventually stopped functioning and my urologist wanted to remove my kidney which was done Oct 2014.....so all this is going on at the same time as Im trying to reduce the meds...my urologist put me on Percoset for the pain....and being Im trying to reduce all these other meds....ok so at the time I'm reducing the meds I was keeping the ones I wasn't taking so I would have some if anything happened and good thing I did because since i found the wrong pain doctor that won't write any scripts I have some I can use in the mean time....oh he did offer me some advise....get this....he wrote me a prescription for MorphineER 15 mgs......his advice was to stop taking the Percocet (which I'm using for the pain of my kidney removal) and to take the Morphine ER 15 mgs for 2 weeks and then take the percocet.....he also told me that he wasn't prepared for withdrawals and couldn't do anything for that so I should just to to the emergency room....this is coming from a pain management doctor...that seems to be a joke to me....ANYWAY so I've decided to try and cut down the pills my self.....so this is how i'm gonna do it and I'm praying it works.....since i'm already down to morphine 30 mgs 2 x day...i thought that I would take a 30 mg in the am and a 15mg morphine er 15 at night and maybe 1 percocet 10 mgs 1 x aday........so yesterday i took  1 percocet 10mg when i got up at 8 i was hurting from my surgery then about 11 am i took morphine 30 then last night when i went to bed i took morphine er 15 mgs.....and did ok...so this morning i thought i would just take the Morphine 15 instead of the 30 I took this at 1030 but when i woke up hurting from the surgery at 745 I took 1 10mg percocet....i feel like if i can keep reducing the morphine to the 15 mg I will be able to get off these meds all together....and at that point I'll worry about the arthritis and bulging  disc in my neck at that point......i never wanted to be on all these meds at all and it will sure save me a lot of time and effort from doctor bills to prescriptions prices etc etc...so if anyone can help with this reducing thing i would greatly appreciate anyones help.........thanks so much
2 Responses
7721494 tn?1431631564
Hope -- you are welcome to post here and will find others who will support you, but here we generally deal with questions about chronic pain.

Two other forums here at MedHelp where you'll find people well experienced in dealing specifically with addiction/dependence problems. These forums are:

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Addiction-Alcohol-Drug-Rehab/show/1232

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/show/77

Best wishes.
Avatar universal
My story is yours.i live in chronic pain from a sever car accident. For 7 years I've been on 6 narco a day or should I say 7 because up until the laws changed I could fill it 3 days early so I'd had extra. I've had an excellent relationship with the pain clunuc and dr. I'm a nurse and stopped working the last few years due to my pain. I was given slow release morohine also a few years ago and lady summer weaned myself off because all I wanted to do was lay in bed. I do need some pain med, how much who even knows after 6 years. But I'll tell you I'm done with the pain med trap and life! Here I've been falling all the rules, being honest, having the same dr, great relationship. I've even worked for this hospital. Yet, I know what they all say about pain or behind their backs and way before I had chronic pain as a nude I would get so mad at the nurses judging our lts who just had surgery and would request pain medicine. Now I'm one of those lts. I have been wanting to get off my Narco to clean out my system and get away from the side effects like laziness it causes me, depression, dry mouth etc, and after so many hours I'm forced to take my dose or I'll get withdrawal. I've never felt more hurt in my life than my last pain clinic  visit. The law hanged and so did my once nice dr. He's never had any nurses with a decent bed side manner and I'm always nervous over my check up/refills. I'm am to have a utine test every 6 months just to make sure I DO HAVE THE MED IN ME AND NOT SELLING IT, so, the pee test is for a positive result! I go in because I too went to refill a script and he had no told me the law was changing nor gave me seperate scripts. Remember I was on morphine he put me in and I chose to get off and did. Yet, my last visit I was treated like a criminal and a drug addict. Even though he made the mistake leaving me with no refill I had to have abrupt with drawl until he could fit me in. Then, the pee tests he almost NEVRR HAD ME DO BECAUSE IM SUCH A GOOD PT, he wants me to do. That's fine -so normally I'd go after my appt and do it, but my husband comes with me every time. Since the busts had to write out the script as she normally does I asked my hubby to wait for it and I'd run to the lab and get the urine test over. I have a 3 degree prolaspe if my bladder and I'm awaiting surgery. As a result its hard to get my urine out and to do so I have to stand up, bend over, do Kagels to get a flow and then the flow sprays making it hard to hit the cup. I had to wait 2 hours to see him so I'd not drank any water. I went in to the bathroom and I tried and tried and got done utine out but spilled a small amount on the floor as I am in pain have to bend over to pee and I was deyhated. They said it was not enough and I said I come back next day,,,  which has always been ok. Mind you this is a pee test to make sure I AM TAKING MY DRUGS! So, then they found out I dud nit give the urine and could not and its was closing time in the clinic they refused to give my already overdo scripts to me!!! They had never done this and the nurse was giving them to me when I ran ahead to get the test done leaving my hubs to get the scripts. When I went back 2 days later there was an order I had to BE WATCHED WHILE PEEING! In 7 years he NEVer ordered that. I burst into tears sobbing. I felt like a big drug addict looser and I'm also so embarrassed to go in front of the nurse because of what I gave to do to pee!! Remember thus is a test to make sure I gave Narco in me not the other way around. I knew then I was DONE WITH THIS CRAP. I'll live in pain, find other ways but I can't take the uncaring judgemental health care any longer. They don't help you find other ways to deal with chronic pain they give you the drugs then blame you and treat you bad. As a nurse I did float to the pain management clinic to work and I've heard their judgemental ways. Yet, if we didn't take the drugs none of them would have jobs. I couldn't go pee!!! I drank and drank and the nurse was starring at me but my bladder clamps off and with the stress It took me 4 hours sitting at the lab to finally get enough pee out and was bloated and sick from all the water. I went down to pain clunuc to get scripts inky to get home and they had the wrong dates 3 days off on my refill-even my pharmacist was mad and called the dr to let him know he'd made an error and he refused to change it. I knew then would do anything to get away from all this. I was always thin-too thin and have had anorexia. I've gained wait bring lazy on pain meds and I know how important weight control is to help decrees pain. I decided I'm going back to being anorexic to loose the weight and I'm not telling him but I'm weaning off my meds. I'm not telling him just in case I might need a rare occasional bed time pain pill. When I have been ok for 3 months I'm quitting him and living without that crap and the humiliation. I'll live with the pain. As far as your withdrawal there is NO EASY WAY! Some go cold turkey some wean off. I'm trying to wean off since I get such bad skin crawling it's the worst thing I've ever gone though. You get sweats, chills, depression, hyper, no sleep and I can take rhst but I can't take my skin crawling craving a pain pill. If I cant wean off I'm checking myself in to a hospital as they give you things to reduce those sever effects. I am down from 6 to 3 Narco. And I'm so depressed! In the end once I don't have one to take I'll still have some skin crawling. I did not refill my script other wise I'll just give in becsuse it drives me crazy. I'm confused about your story. You saud your new dr doesn't give pain meds but then put you on morphine! Morphine is so addicting and hell to get off! I don't kniw how I did it but I did. The EMOTIONAL WITHDRWAL is the worst!!!!!! Please keep doing it! As long as you are able to decrease your dose ever 3 or 4 days you will get there, but if you keep pills just in case I don't see how you can. The minute the pain is bad or withdrawal you wamy to take more. Most of us have to have NO extra pills to run to to get off. I will follow your story and please keep me up to date! For your kidneys alone these drugs cause damage and you must get off them. I know I'm going to do whatever it takes I can not take thus life of a drug addict any longer -good luck!
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