Avatar universal

Help with drug addict Husband

I am only 20yrs old and married and have a 8month old baby. My husband is a meth addict. He lies to me about almost everything. He leaves at night and doesn't answer his phone. During the day he says he's going to "the store" and comes back empty handed EVERY time. You'd think he'd be smarter about it. Also he spends all hours of day/night that he is home in garage. He tells me he isn't on anything... LIES. What the hell can I do?? I am on my last straw with him. I am seriously thinking of leaving him in divorce and finding someone worthy to be husband/father. I refuse to let my son grow up in this situation. I really would like to try and make it work for my son to have his parents together, but I don't know what to do anymore :/ Help please.....
6 Responses
3149845 tn?1506627771
Hi and sorry your going through this. Just to be clear, aside for the things he is doing, have you actually seem him doing meth, how do you know for sure its meth?
3060903 tn?1398565123
"I refuse to let my son grow up in this situation." Continue to have this be your bottom line. Your son needs your protection, and enabling an addict is a very poor example. It's a great bottom line.

I think you should check out NarcAnon, and get schooled in enabling, and the importance of forcing your addict to find help. In order to love an addict and help an addict, you must force him into getting help. He may or may not do that, and that's the hurdle you must make. You do need a man worthy of being a father, so does your child. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to message me. I'm an addict that's been clean from hard drugs since 99. An addict wanting to keep his family together will "go to any lengths" Don't baby him, continue to expect him to "step up" to his responsibilities and you'll be doing the right thing.
Avatar universal
I know he is doing meth, because about a year ago we moved out of his home town and he got sober for a few months and finally admitted after 3years that his drug of choice is meth and he's been doing it very often. We moved back to his home town and  I know he is currently doing it now, because he stays up for a few days, always wants to be by himself or around his addict friends, and after a few days he sleeps A LOT and starts having ******* attitude for no reason. I told him I want him off the drugs, he says, and "I do drugs because of how I am treated by you" He keeps trying to convince me I am the reason.. and everyone I know, KNOWS that I am only trying to help and am a good wife. He is just BLIND TO IT.
Avatar universal
Get rid of him now while your still young; you don't need to be subjected to that behavior.  Good luck.
1700643 tn?1464846682
Get out NOW.U r better than this,u and ur child deserve more.U r so young dnt waste another minute n this torture
3060903 tn?1398565123
Are you saying that he locks you out of the garage? That's a tell.... I wouldn't live in a house where there was a room that I couldn't go in, that's for dang sure.
Are you able to change your living arrangement? Do you have support?

If he's in the garage day/night, does he work? Where would he get $$ for drugs (if he doesn't work)? Maybe he's selling drugs in the wee hours? Maybe he's seeing another woman? He's doing everything that's not acceptable, that's what you do know.

Most times addicts won't change until they're left little choice. He may have the disease of addiction, and need help to get it under control. If you choose to leave because he's essentially "locking you out" of his life, and you have an 8 month old, maybe this will be his reason for changing? Stranger things have happened. Plan for the best, (Alanon) and expect the worse (lawyer). But whatever happens, congrats on the baby, and get by this to enjoy your life with your child. Think about you, your education, your job, play dates, and supportive friends and family. Soon it will be time for daycare, and kindergarten, and grade school, all exciting stuff. Another partnership, another child with a healthy man? You just don't have time to worry about somebody whose locking you out of their lives. Time for you to lock him out of yours, i should think.  
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Living with an Addict Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
3060903 tn?1398565123
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
For people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the COVID-19 pandemic can be particularly challenging.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.