I think that you and your husband need the help of an Addiction's Therapist. He needs to become more aware of his actions and more willing to try to see this from your point of view. Having a Therapist on board, is so helpful. It was to me that's for sure.
He needs to be able to talk to a therapist by himself as well, and get to the root of how he's managing or not managing his taper ans sobriety. It will take the load off of your shoulders, knowing that he has a therapist to talk to and knowing that you can share what's gong on at home.
I think it will help your blood pressure a lot to get a therapist. I think that it will also help you to detach somewhat from the process of your husband's taper. You need to look after you. Do you have an exercise program for yourself to help you with stress? Maybe think about joining the YWCA and meeting up with some women that go a couple of times a week, to the pool. It will help you immensely to put a program in place for you, to help yourself.
i'm always here if you need to talk.
The purpose of being on suboxone or methadone, is for an addict to get a program in place while they're tapering off all drugs. Has your husband put a program in place? Does he attend NA regularly and have a sponsor? Many unfortunately do not do their homework and do not use the time that they're being tapered to get a program, and that might be because there has been no contact with an Addictions Therapist.
Right now is the most important time for your husband to have a sponsor, and friends in NA, and a therapist. The fact that he's losing so much weight and has so many other side effects happening is unfortunately because he's not invested in a program. (that would deal with his loss of weight and his moods.).
you desperately need some outside help. Are you involved yourself in a NarAnon Family Group program? There you would learn how to detach and not have his side effects adversely affect your life so drastically. As it s affecting your health the way it is, it proves that you too need support.
You both need outside support.