I have no advice to give. Just wanted to let you know I'm right there with you facing the same situation.
I'm here with you. I've been living with my heroin boyfriend for two year. I found he was using when we first got together. I told his mom and we tried to help and he said he could do it on his own. And we let him at this point he wasn't using a needle he was smoking. He was passing his **** test. But things started getting bad he stole three thousand dallors from my bank and every check I had money went missing. But I just kept believing his lies because I loved him so much. Well in October we got in a huge fight and he left for a week he came back and I saw marks on his arm and he told me they were bed bugs bites we had bed bugs so I believed it. Come to find out that's when he started using needles. About two weeks ago I found him on the bathroom floor overdosed with a needle on the floor. Scariest moment of my life there was my true love on the ground looking dead. Well after this he said he would go to rehab and that he wanted to get clean.he had to spend a week in jail and now he is in rehab and I keep thinking to myself should I stay even thought he us once again the man I loved can I get though this. So I'm on the same boat with you.
How is it that they can love us but then put us through such torture? I was blind to a lot, but I couldn't have completely imagined his love for me...
If you love someone then how do you start using such a destructive drug? And then lie about it? And steal? I just don't get it. I've always known the world isn't just black and white but this I never knew it could be this unclear.
I just want him to get better, and i want to trust he'll stay better. I have to draw the line somewhere, but his actions so far have been for the right reasons so im willing to give him one more chance. But it just hurts so much to know he lied to me so much.
Don't take the addict's behavior personally. He has a monster in him that is winning the battle. It makes us do things we despise. I've beaten my monster but have to continue fighting everyday. Over time it got easier. Eventually, I was in complete control. The key was changing my life. There have been some struggles since, it's tough.
I'm afraid I can't offer much on how it is to deal with an addict, but I can tell you about being one and (perhaps) why.
If there's any questions you're curious about just call or text me anytime 416 827 085one.
Well once he out if he starts using again leave him that's a good point to draw the line that's what I'm doing.
As a recovering addict I would reiterate what Gdeee said, as difficult as it is, try not to take it personally. He can love you with all his being but addiction is a force that even the strongest love cannot reckon with. The fact that he voluntarily went to detox and sought help and also was open with you is bigger than you know. You cannot force an addict to get help, they must want it for themselves first. I think he is lucky to have you and could really benefit from your support. It is probably a major motivator for him. Do your research on addiction so you can understand what he is going through and seek support for yourself. Just a warning, he may slip here and there but if he is putting forth a committed effort, try to stand by him. Recovering addicts and addicts in recovery are some of the most amazing people you will ever meet who will give of themselves to others. Keep us posted of his progress and how you are doing.
Thank you all for your help. I have been struggling with a lot of my own emotions but the bottom line is that i love him and want to help in every way possible, even if that means making hard decisions. But he took a big step and im extremely proud of him.
Hang in there...how is he doing? How are you?
I'm in the same situation almost, my bf is in detox as of now. My dad overdosed from heroin when I was 18, it was a shock as is this one with my bf, he said he had a problem before with oxys when I started dating him and he has been years clean. Ive been lied and munipulated alot of the years but when he finally admitted the other day he was using I forgave him, but said if he didn't take rehab serious and give it his all I had to walk away.
Its extremely hard, but I think if you want to make it work with your bf after it's going to take some counselling together to build trust back. Same situation for me, someone also suggested to find a narc-anon meeting in area where you live. There's a site if you go on google. It's just for family,friends of loved ones with a problem.
Stay strong and take care of yourself ♡
Actually it was you that suggested the narc-anon meeting to me the other day :)
Thank you for that, hang in there
Thank you for all the support guys. From what I hear, my bf is doing extremely well working with his counselor, but i can only talk to him a few minutes one day a week while a counselor is present. I think its better that way. Hes to return home april 1st, and hopefully he will stay committed to his recovery and we can follow through with plans of marriage and a future together. I can only take things one day at a time, but my future is looking bright, and so is his. So hopefully our futures can come together again, this time with trust and real commitment.