Addiction: Living with an Addict Community
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Avatar universal

I think daughter stealing my pills

My daughter is addicted to vicodin, but will take any opiate available.  I have cancer and have been prescribed oxycodone and oxycontin.  I keep those pills seperate from all my other meds.  I just realized I am about 20 pills short of the oxycontin before my next monthly appt.  I don't even take my 3/day every day, so I should have extra.
If I question her, she will of course deny it.  Her sister accused her of taking 4 of her vicodin when she pic it up at the pharmacy for her.
I haven't caught her "red handed" but I feel strongly I'm right.  I of course changed my hiding place for my drugs.  I thought I'd put a note in there that simply says I HAD TO HIDE THEM SOMEWHERE ELSE CAUSE OF YOU.  
My husband doesn't understand how a daughter could steal pills from a mother with cancer, but i told him addicts don't care where they get their pills.
Am I handling this right?
8 Responses
Avatar universal
Hello Sleepless.. Welcome to the forum. I'm very sorry to read of your diagnosis. I send prayers that you persevere.. Listen to your gut If you think your daughter is stealing your pills. she is. I would suggest a lock box for your meds We are very good at ferreting them out of hiding. I would also suggest you look up Al Anon it is a support group for family of addicts I believe they have meetings on line ? They are a great support system You can also gain a lot of knowledge on how Not to enable your daughter.. You are right It is not that your daughter does not love you our have empathy for what you are dealing with.. But right now the addiction has taken over all of this. You are right again, addicts do not care where they get their drugs. I'm sure secretly she feels bad but right now her active addiction is stronger then her. do not loan money you also may want to lock up any valuables as her tolerance increases so does her need for drugs... I wish you all well with this Please do not enable her. I will say a prayer that your daughter finds her way back to herself.. lesa
Avatar universal
I'm sorry for what you are going through ans especially when you are dealing with being sick. Yes an addict will do anything and everything to get there fix. They will justify stealing from you even if it is messed up as it is. I would get a lock box with a key because she will just find your new hiding spot. You don't want to support her habit and you need this medicine for yourself. You should certainly confront her on it even if she denys it make sure she knows you know ans let it set in she's stealing from her own mother who is sick. Hope you are able to help her. God bless
Avatar universal
This is sad but it happens all the time. PLEASE don't take it personally. Addiction is bigger than her love for you, her conscience,her moral character,etc...

She needs some help in a big way!  Start off by confronting her but not by yelling or suggesting ultimatums. As hard as it is to love an addict, that's what they need the most. Start researching ways to help....a therapist, a program, rehab,etc...be sure she knows you still love her and the rest of the family needs to express their love and support,also. Believe me, she hates what she's done but addiction is just the devil. Alanon was suggested and it's a good one!

I know this is a difficult time for you and I hope your prognosis is hopeful. There's always hope!  

Please have a talk with your girl (how old is she?) and do get a lock box that's out where you can see it. Folks have stolen lock boxes right out of the house...

Stay in touch with us...and all the best!
Avatar universal
Thanks for the comments.  I have my drugs on a different floor of the house and she will never be in this house alone..even to go to the bathroom, which is when i think this has been happening.  I did tell her how many pills I was short, and that i didn't even take what i was supposed to, so i should have many extra.  Of course no comment from her.
You asked about my cancer....it is incurable.  People live 3-10 years with it.  Every case is different.
Right now I'm just keeping my distance from this daughter till I calm down.  Her and her sister aren't speaking because her sister swears she took some of her vidodin when she picked it up at the drugstore...4 pills short.
Last month I was 27 short of xanax.  I've taken that drug for 20 years and have NEVER been short....EVER.  That is also on a different floor.
She won't get help, altho she will admit she is an addict.  She's losing the very people that love her, tho, and I know that is common.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. My adult son who I live with takes my morphine that I have to take for back problems. He will torment me for hours and refuse to go to work if I don't give him half and I know I'm a louse for giving them to him but like I said he will torture me for hours until he gets it and I don't know what to do.
82861 tn?1333457511
I am so sorry for the rotten position you find yourself in.  As everyone else has said, your daughter's addiction is making her do these horrible things.  I promise you that somewhere inside she's carrying around a ton of shame and guilt for stealing your meds but at the moment her disease is screaming louder than the shame and guilt.  

Since it appears she doesn't live in your house, I suggest changing the house locks in addition to getting a safe for your meds.  Until she's ready to admit to her problem and get treatment, you have to take whatever safety measures you can.

I'm sure you're covered up with doctors and treatment for your cancer and probably have little energy left over for anything else, but try to check out a few Al-Anon meetings if you possibly can.  You aren't required to speak and there is a wealth of information and support to be had there.
1416133 tn?1351126817
Are you girls also getting support for what they are going through with your diagnosis?  I'm so sorry to hear you aren't well, and I can't begin to imagine what they are going through.  Maybe therapy or counseling would be a good place to start?  It sounds like they're just numbing themselves from the pain they are also experiencing right now with what their Mom is going through - do you think that could be part of it?  I am so sorry you're going through all of this.
Avatar universal
No...none of us are getting counselling, as we should be.  The other daughter just had her first baby 3 weeks ago, so it's been a flury of activity.  I guess I don't want to get counselling because of the money.  My cop-pays are $50/visit, and that adds up.  I have suggested countless times to the daughter that taking my pills to get counselling, but she won't.
Avatar universal
First of all I'm sorry for what is happening. I just married a 53 yr old grown man that is a alcohol and drug counselor. I had old pain pills around the house, some expired, and I got a migraine. Couldn't find any pain pills anywhere. These old bottles of narcotics are everywhere around the house cuz I don't take them often. He found them all and took them. When confronted he had to admit. I bought a $75 safe at Home Depot. Put 2 double As in it and code an access number. Bury the override keys in the yard. Husband will never steal from me again.
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