Addiction: Living with an Addict Community
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Insurance and treatment

They kicked my son out of residential rehab because insurance wouldn't pay. Am I alone with this mess?
7 Responses
Avatar universal
You can look at outpatient meds to help.  My daughter is taking vivitrol which is covered by insurance.  It is a once a month shot that is an opiate blocker.  She detoxed and then began the shots.  For her, it literally takes the desire and thoughts of the drug away!  She doesn't want it. It is a 12 month program.  The shot is about $1200 but on the Vivitrol web site there is a coupon for $500.  My insurance covers it and I know medicaid covers it as well.  For my daughter and our entire family...it has been the answer to our prayers.  Please let me know if you want more info.  Our doctor had never used it, or even heard of it.  We found it on the internet and asked our doctor to prescribe it.  Thank god she did
Avatar universal
My son was able to successfully use about 18 days after the vivitrol shot!!! got to want to do it.

We have had numerous insurance issues only cover 15 days of a 30 to 45 day treatment!!!! I was told to try the mental health approach, contemplating that now.
1530493 tn?1410060236
To both dad's :)
I believe anything, if receptive IS worth a try, at least as a beginning point. .we never know what will work.
Even if it didn't work previously it may work the next.
My son had very limited success with suboxone the first 2 times.
The 3rd worked....but only because HE wanted it to
I believe the shot is a step up, from subs for sure. ..they cant sell or abuse.
but it is only the beginning. ..follow up NEEDS to happen
Dadtc...it's funny you mentioned the mental health approach.
I tried to post on that yesterday,  but apparently my long winded-ness wouldn't allow.  I'm going to try to break it up though.
Has anything ever been mentioned about pre drug use, to any of us...chemical imbalance ?
I was never made aware of that !
It wasn't until my son was sent to a psychiatrist that they discovered ADHD with hyper activity and extreme anxiety. ...he was self medicating,  just to feel normal which eventually lead to heroin.

1530493 tn?1410060236
If your son is agreeable,  I would go the mental health way.
He sounds like he wants help,  he deserves to get it
Good luck !!
Avatar universal
When are they going to realize that trip after trip to a detox center or 30 day facility (if you're lucky) is costing more money than keeping an addict in long term care?  My son is on Medicaid and I've lost count of how many times he's been in a treatment facility.  It's usually a 5 day detox and they just discharge him with an outpatient plan they know isn't going to work.  

The last time he was in detox they made a plan which included referring him to a facility called Memorial Hermann's The Parc for a 90 day inpatient treatment plan.  I even told her I had checked into that place before and his medicaid didn't cover it but they seemed sure.  Then, at 4:30 after the doctor had left for the day they discovered his medicaid wouldn't cover it.  I went from relief to complete overload.  Since he couldn't go there they simply released him.  So, he came home and relapsed within a few days.

Each time he relapses is worse than the time before.  This time I took him to a filthy run down place medicaid paid for and dropped him off for a 28 day stay.  He was so wasted he didn't even know where I was taking him but when we got there he went nuts.  I had no choice but to walk out and leave him there.  It was several days before he really understood where he was.  I wasn't going to go get him and did not take his phone calls because I knew he would beg me to come get him and yell at me if I didn't.

After 28 days his counselor called and asked if I would attend a meeting with he and my son, which I did.  The counselor said Jamie had done well and had even began leading the meetings.  His recommendation was to go home with me and begin outpatient services.  So, I brought him home but he never followed through.  

Since then he started shooting heroin.  I found him in his room where he had fallen.  He was pale, not breating, and lips were blue.  I called 911 and tried to follow their instructions but he was too heavy.  When parametics arrived somehow they were able to get him to breath again but as soon as they did he went crazy like nothing I've ever seen. They had to give him something in order to transport him.  At the hospital he was sent to ICU.  He slept for a long time again, when he woke up he went crazy saying the most aweful things and yelling.  It took several men to get him into the bed and put restraints on him.  They also decided I was a trigger and wouldn't allow me to visit anymore.  On the third day he was alert enough to talk the nurse into removing his restraints.  As soon as she did he took off running.  He ran over 5 miles naked other than his gown home.  

When he got there he was filthy, his gown was torn up, and he collapsed.  He was crying and begging me.  I went to hold him and will never forget how bad his whole body was shaking.  It was a fear like I've never seen, it ripped my heart out.  Paramedics were already on their way back to get him since the hospital but a court ordered hold on him.  I still wasn't allowed to see him.  After 3 days in ICU he moved to a room where he had a sitter there with him all the time.  I was finally able to see him on the day they transported him to a psych hospital almost 100 miles away.  He was afraid he wouldn't be able to see me or even tell me what was happening.  I got there about 15 minutes before he left.  That facility released him after 4 days.  He was forced to walk home because I had found somewhere he could go but he refused.  He convinced the facility he was fine with outpaitent treament.

A few days later he was right back to stealing money, jewelry, electronics, and even my cell phone.  So, I kicked him out like everyone said I should do.  Only, a few days after that he was staying in a dope house and this time he was found in the bathroom floor with the needle still stuck in his arm.  Luckily someone called paramedics who again were able to revive him.  The others were mad becaue the police came with paramedics so they kicked him out into the heat until I finally found out and went to get him.  Doctors told me if I hadn't gotten him to the ER when I did he probably would not have survived.

Since then his drug of choice is heroin.  He's a daily user and will do anything to get it.  I am afraid of him at times and stay locked in my room when he's high (which is all the time).  His heroin addiction is at the point of needing several shots a day just to keep from being sick.  He is either high, or crying about how back this drug has a hold of him, or he's so sick, worse than the other drugs he was addicted to. He only thinks about the drug and there is no doubt in my mind that it will take his life.  

I don't know what to do when he gets reliesed in the next few days.  Heroin doesn't have control of just his life, it controls mine too.  I have fallen into a deep depression, have PTSD, and agoraphobia.  I have four locks from my bedroom door to a small combination safe I keep keys in, to my closet where my safe is.  Still there have been a few times he has managed to get in there. Before I was aware of the heroin he told me about a childhood friend who's mother had just hanged herself.  He said he was afraid something migh happen to her so I went and got her for the spare room.

Soon, she was stealing and manipulating me worse than he was.  When I finally got her out and packed up her things I found countless items of mine I know were in my closet.  Of course, she still denies it and has an excuse for everything.  She is threatening to get us back and I'm worried because of the friends she nows.  Plus, she's calling and texting Jamie's phone nonstop telling him how mad she is that "her" stuff was stolen but also says she'll forgive him.  In every message she offers him a shot.  I'm so afraid of her relentlessly trying to get with him.  She makes him feel sorry for her over her mother and then offers him heroin.  What she really wants is somewhere to stay and to have Jamie drive her around looking for heroin.  She has no ride, nowhere to stay, and has burned all her bridges.

If she finds him when he gets out, he won't be able to resist her offer of drugs and she knows it.

Its a fine line between love and enabling.  In my case, I put him out on his own and still, he almost died.  I'm at a loss.  He has taken so much that I'm losing my home I've owned for 10 years, and my car.  

I'm planning to admit myself to a psychiatric hospital tomorrow.  I'm so broken I can't think much less be a parent to an addict.  I'm afraid because I have no money left and fear all the utilities will be off and my car will be repossessed by the time I get out of the hospital.  I've tried everything and I am not even close to the woman I once was.  I was a strong independent mother who raised three kids by myself but now, I'm only a shell.  I can't even tell you the last time I bathed, brushed my teeth, or even ate.

I've begged everyone in this state for help.  I even got an email back from the Dr Phil show but haven't heard back.  At this point, I'm afraid we have both come the the end.  I'm in no shape to help him figure out anything.  I asked his doctor how a person like Jamie (who already hated themselve) would find the hope to get clean.  I'm the only family member left in his life.  No one knows how bad its gotten and they don't want to know.

Why can't they understand these short term stays aren't working.  All it does is keep them safe for a few days destined for another relapse.  So many of our kids are dying from heroin.  In the last two weeks 2 guys in his group have died from overdosing.  One is too many. So many lives are ruined over addiction and its only getting worse.

For Jamie,

1530493 tn?1410060236
Your user name "I still believe"...please believe. ..in YOU.
My dear lady,  my heart bleeds for you
I know your life so very well.
PLEASE know there is always hope...
Number 1 in your life. ...needs to be you right now.
I feel everyone of your words,  while it's been many years since my life was were yours is,  your story took me right back to that place in time.
While I totally agree the right help is not out there for our kids,  I have to say I'm not really sure what that right help is. I believe it can only come from them,  when they are ready to surrender.
In the end it seems to come back to our kids. ..do they want it ?
We've been told many times they can make us as sick as them,  even sicker. Your feeling the full blown effect of his addiction.
when were told to let them go,  while many times that's what they need to wake up, it's also a tool for our survival.  
It is a 50/50 chance and yes they will go low,  before they find the light at the end.    
I needed to put my son out of my life for me.
I came very close to ending my pain, because of what he was doing to our lives. It's unbearable pain. ..we've seen it all,  we've felt it all,  we too come to a point of finding no other way out.
A very sad fact of severe addiction.
I too, lost it all,  from financially stable to wondering where I may end up living,  would I be able to eat ?
Why. ..I've worked hard my entire life, why was "i" allowing my suffering ?
It was because of my undying love for my son,  that I COULD NOT save.
for years I knew I would out live him, so many od's, suicide attempts, I'm not sure why he survived.  
I let him go for 2 reasons, the first was I knew I couldn't be the one to find him dead.  
The 2nd was to be able to find MY turning point.
While I had previously put him on the streets,  he ended up in all the same places your son did.  He did get clean for 1 year after the streets, but couldn't stay that way.  
I have other children,  even grand babies that mean the world to me, it wasn't enough.
I gave up on my life,  I didn't want to do it any more.  
I had one very special person in my life that talked me back to life, and a disabled daughter jenna to show me the way.  
It wasn't until Jenna and I walked into our home to find my son/ her brother od'd with a slit wrist at my kitchen table. While I was devastated. ..it was the unnatural pain I heard in jennas cry that woke me up.
I had been letting her innocent life suffer, while trying to save my son.
I couldn't fix him. ...that day I knew who had to be fixed.  
It needed to be me for her.
my son survived,  so did i.
I put him totally out of my life as an addict,  certainly not because of lack of love. ..it went much deeper.  I loved him too much to let him suffer.
we become as addicted to them as they are to their drug,  the only difference is they use something to kill their pain.
He holds the key to his life. ..it is 50/50...does he open the door to a new life,  or will he hold the key ?
Only he is in control , only he can do it.
Today I humbly say my son is a 2 year recovering heroin addict and "I" Am a 2 year " survivor " of heroin addiction
Only you hold your key. ..make it work for you.
Sending warm caring hugs to you. .
5685035 tn?1423936569
have you guys heard of after care? aa or na or cr its free!?!
I started using when I was 13 and by 21 I was addicted to coke, methadone, opiates and liquor. I had no insurance there was no hope... and my mom died shorty before I turned 22 from cancer.
I continued to use and overdose and lose things when I was 28 my father passed of copd..I was tld due to my injuries I wouldnt be walking by the time I turned 30 and I would NEVER EVER get off methadone
When I was 29 Some things happened and I left the abusive drug fueled 10 year relationship...I had no parents and no one to save me
I decided enough was enough and I detoxed myself, something I dont recomend...I found a free program called narcotics anomoyous. I was a hopeless dope fiend...I found a room of dopeless hope fiends...
I have 348 days off all drugs and liquor...I am almost 31 and I am still walking...There is hope Also look up NAR-Anon its for families of addicts. Im just telling you MY story and how it saved MY life...They say aa and na arent for those who need it, its for those who want it...Maybe your child isnt broken enough...maybe being enabled is making it easy IDK
All I can say is there is hope drag your family to meetings and ever if it takes years later for them to get it your planting a seed and when they become ready they will know where to go...I heard about meetings when I was 16ish I think I sisnt take it seriously until I was 29 but someone planted a seed...Pray thats all I can say just pray
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