Addiction: Living with an Addict Community
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Avatar universal


My son is desperate to get off Oxy etc.,  He is starting Rehab on August 19th.  My question is that he has started taking methadone and it has taken the urge to use away.  Is this a good thing to be doing going into Rehab.  I think that he should start decreasing his dosage before he goes into rehab.  He has not been on methadone long maybe just over two weeks.  I know he wants to get clean and is desperate to get clean.  He has just taken a break from his girlfriend (she wants him off methadone and has been very supportive) and of course with being on Methadone their sex life is not as it used to be.  My husband has suffered from depression since he was 19 and takes his anti-depressants and functions really well. I know my son is depressed and maybe that is why he always wants to get high to get that happy feeling.  I hope that Rehab will help but it is only for 16 days.  Should he have methadone in his system or should he ween himself off.  I too hate him being on that but he says it takes the urge away.
This has been a nightmare for everyone in the family.  He is on my mind 24/7 and I feel so helpless.  I want my son back and well.  What advice can you give us???  Please respond.
14 Responses
1827057 tn?1397523877
Yes He should stop the methadone. It is an opiate that is actually stronger and longer acting than the oxy that He was on. That is why it is "helping" with cravings. Is he getting them off of the street or through a treatment clinic?
Either way,getting completely clean of any opiates is the only way to get your real feelings back in my opinion. You should also check out the living with an addict forum on this site. Best wishes for you and him.  
was he needing it for pain or just want to get high. if he's getting high  for the fun of it he should quit. no easy way just do it. if he has chronic pain then leave him alone, he needs it.
Avatar universal
Thanks for replying.  I will keep you posted.  He coming to the house today so I will show him your posting.  Really appreciated.
Avatar universal
He is attending a clinic and don't seem to have any problem giving him the methadone and upping the dosage. I believe he started on 30 and now he is up to 50 daily. Why would they keep on giving him this knowing that he is going into Rehab?
Avatar universal
I am a methadone addict and encourage him to taper down and quit. Methadone withdrawal is the worst of all opiates, including Oxy, heroin, and Suboxone. I had 3 months acute withdrawal and 6 more months of Post Acur Withdrawal. It's been 13 months, and I am still recovering. The clinics are willing to string people along as long as they have money. If he gets hooked on methadone, he will regret it eventually. 16 days is long enough for Oxy withdrawal, but not methadone. I will talk with him if he wants.
Avatar universal
Thank you for answering. He seems to think that it is the best thing to be on and I can not convince him otherwise. They (the clinic's etc.,) seem to encourage it.  He is struggling inside and I know he wants to stop and get himself better.  I asked him to call the Rehab place to ask them about being on Methadone. I don't think he did yet but I am wondering how can you go to rehab on that.....it does not make sense to me.  He is tired all the time and sweats a lot. I wish when he has the urges that he could have someone to talk him out of it...support.  He is hurting so bad...it is no life being on this....it just destroys you outside and in.  He is off work and has to get completely clean before he can go back and being off work is not good for the mind. I personally think that he suffers from depression and he tried  to make himself feel better and it escalated and escalated.
Avatar universal
If he needs an opioid medication, I personally feel Suboxone is a better option, though detoxing and getting totally clean is better, sub programs require counseling and 12 step meetings. Methadone clinics are designed for damage control, they know how addictive it is and they where he buys his drugs now. Methadone was intended to keep heroin addicts from stealing, mugging, and other criminal activities. Most Mdone clinics don't require much counseling if any. Many people will tell you that methadone will destroy motivation, sex drive, desire for friends, and slowly make a person into an isolated zombie. That's better than being on the streets robbing liquor stores, but it doesn't sound like he went to far, YET.

That being said, I know you want to help, but this has to be his recovery. I had to learn the hard way, but nobody warned me about the dangers of changing one drug for another or the side effects of methadone. I don't know who's paying for his clinic visits, though I hope it's not you. He should be the one asking for help on the addiction forum. I know you love him. I know this is hard. You have to let him do this. I suggest you visit a Nar-Anon meeting or Al-anon meeting to meet people who have been where you are. It's easy to enable an addict and not know it, especially if you are not an addict or have lived with addicts and worked through it. Rehab will not help him if he is only trying to avoid withdrawal. Where does he stay? He's not working, did he save money for this detox? How can he afford to live and pay the clinic? I fear he is being helped too much. The consequences of his addiction are taking time off work and taking opioids. That's ideal for an addict. I'm sure he is depressed, he doesn't need opioids to heal, he needs therapy and support from other addicts. Has he been to an NA meeting? What has he done to deal with this problem, other than switching to a different drug?

I probably sound harsh, but I had to reach total isolation and OD on methadone a few times to get up and take charge of my recovery. Addicts call it hitting bottom. I have done many drugs, but I could them all, opiates were the exception. It takes 100% of a person to get clean and stay clean. If he doesn't start reaching out for help and doing what is advised, he should save his money, 16 days in rehab won't help, that is a small part of a life in recovery. You are right, he needs people to talk him out of making bad decisions. Sitting in his room on methadone, hanging around waiting for a rehab to fix him, it sounds like he isn't really willing to do what it takes. I hope I am wrong, truly I do, but I was just like him 10 years ago, I've been clean a year and only now do I see how much I made excuses and was in denial of my situation. I tried to do it my way for years, it was the humility of asking for help from everyone and doing what they advised that finally helped me kick that monkey off my back.

Sorry this is so long, But I am very passionate about this. I fear he is going from bad drugs to worse drugs. what he is doing doesn't make sense, he is still self-medicating, he know what is best and won't listen. How I frustrated my wife and kids all those years. It's only methadone, or so I thought. Pull up old posts about methadone detox in the addiction forum, see if be will read a few. I hope he will. Keep me posted and let me know if I can help in any way, but try to go to a meeting for you. I really think it will help your whole family.
Avatar universal
I wanted to correct myself, some Mdone clinics do require counseling, so I wanted to ask, does his require more than payment and he gets his dose? Maybe he's doing more than I realize, so what does he say?
Avatar universal
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for replying. You are 100% right you do isolate yourself from everyone. I can see it myself.  He still is the nicest and kindest person in the world.  Also, he used to participate in sports but I don't think he has the energy. We never had to give him money but this last two years. I don't even want to tell you.  He used to be able to buy shoes, shirts, everything but not in the last couple of years. His girlfriend is there for now but I know it is only time. One day she will just throw in the towel as it is no life for her either. She has been by his side but I can see the change in her too. My husband and I have asked him to go back on the suboxone but he is not interested.  I believe the Doc is at the clinic today, can she write a prescription for that med?  Really, I don't think he has a clue how serious all this is and he thinks he is able to control the situation. I KNOW HE IS IN SERIOUS TROUBLE IF HE DOES NOT GET OFF THIS SOON.
Work is there for now but they will not wait forever and he will be on their watch list - for sure.
The Rehab is covered by insurance and is a two hour drive away.  He goes on the 19th. August so he has a little time to get on the suboxone. I pray he will see that is better alternative. I keep praying for help for him.
Avatar universal
I was talking to the receptionist in my chiropractics office the other day. She is a recovering addict and worked in a detox/rehab facility for 10 years, after hetting clean. The doctor she worked with was able to predict which patients would stay clean. Finally, she asked him how he knew. He said, "let me talk to the patients family for 10 minutes. If the family is willing to get help for themselves and stop enabling the addict, the addict will succeed. I tell you this to encourage you to go to Nar-Anon or Al- Anon. Technically, I think you have been buying him drugs the last couple years. I know he didn't ask for drug money, but he spent his time and money on scoring and getting high. You paid for what that money should go on. You enable him to take risks and still survive. He will not want to quit as long as he can get bailed out. I would cut him off, let him lose his job, home, girlfriend, and you may be saving his life. It sounds heartless, but it really isn't. That is what he needs. I'm not saying to give up, actually the opposite. I know it feels counter-intuitive, you want to help him, but he is the only one who can change him. My wife stopped enabling me, and she saved my life.

So here's my story. It all started with back pain, from scoliosis and degenerative arthritis in my spine. I never took them to party. I turned into a nasty man, self-centered, manipulative, and a liar. Like your son, I tried to just quit. I tried to do anything but ask for help from anyone, except my wife. After 2 1/2 years of trying, my wife stopped doing anything for me and pretended I wasn't there. My kids were giving up on me, I have always been honest as I could with them, they knew about my addiction and my failed attempts to stop. They saw me convulsing and my eyes rolling back in my head as my wife gave me CPR. After keeping me alive a few times, I Od'd again, but my wife stopped helping me that time. I luckily woke up when my lungs stopped. My wife sat up and asked if I was okay. I couldn't speak, she knew I wasn't okay. She laid back down and went back to sleep. My kids and wife expected to find me dead on the floor in the morning. I leaned my chest against the back of a chair and manually pumped my lungs until the dawn. I couldn't stop long enough to go the the hospital, so I prayed, I cried, I was waiting to die. My lungs started working again after 6 hrs or so. When my family woke up, they were happy I was alive, and I had the first real talk with my wife a out my addiction. I stopped making excuses and only thinking of myself and how I feel. I started going to 12 step meetings, I told all my dealers to leave me alone, I found this web site. I asked for advice and did all of it I could. I had been saying I was trying to quit, but I wasn't taking any advice seriously. My wife knew I had turned a corner in my recovery.

I tell you this for two main reasons, to show how not helping me was the most loving, caring, selfless thing she could have done for me, and to remind myself of where I came from. I didn't even know my wife had given me CPR so many times, I thought I was conciderate of my family, but my actions where very selfish. Quitting methadone was the hardest thing I have ever done. I don't think it was any harder than it was for my wife not to help me anymore. It's embarrassing for me. Admitting I needed help, that I had failed by using my own will-power, was the one thing that gave me the strength to do it. I may be wrong, but I think you are hurting your son by helping him keep taking drugs. It's not your fault, but I encourage you to learn what is the best plan of action by getting together with other family members of addicts.

I hope I'm not coming off negative or harsh, it's hard to explain the mind if an addict. I am thinking of you. I hope our experience can prevent your son from treating you and those who love him as poorly as I treated those who love me. Life us good now, but it has been a hard path for all of us.

2064799 tn?1373867219
Hello I'm very sorry for what you and your son are going threw at this time and I know how you feel because my boyfriend is addicted to roxy 30s and I myself used to be but have been clean for awhile now. I know a little bit about methadone because my bf used to be on it, I think it would be a great idea for your son to try and come down a little before he goes to rehab it will make it a lot easier for him coming off and the amount of days he is going to rehab is truly not enough for a addict. Methadone is also very very addictive and has a longer life then taken pain bills so that will make it harder for him physically getting off. He is very lucky to have this opportunity to go to rehab and should take full advantage to become completely clean of everything. When he goes to rehab they will put him on methadone or suboxone and a lot of the time they will send you home with a script for suboxone but if he is trying to get off methadone to he needs to make that clear to them. Suboxone and methadone is one of the worst drugs to withdraw from cause like I said it has a longer life so it would be very important and smart for him to start and lower his doseage now. You sound like a very nice person and a good support system for him. I would just keep letting him know that this is not person he is and how much better he will feel and his head will be so much clearer and nothing but good will come from this and your so proud of him for maker this step. He is so lucky he has this second chance, it's such a hard thing to see your loved one going threw this, I know I am in a very hard spot right now with my boyfriend. We had a 1 year old and I feel like he is missing the best part of his growing age. I've told my boyfriend many times he needs to go to rehab but he is to worried about work which jobs come and go and your life does not but its very hard to get threw to someone that is addicted. We have tried many things to get him off like me Holden his pills and I give him as he needs them so he doesn't over do it and so he can get low and try and transfer him on to suboxone and this has worked in the past but a dumb *** friend of his came over one day offering him a pill and it was just to hard for him to refuse and he was only 2 weeks off the pills and now were back to square one. I'm sorry for talking so much I just really enjoy trying to help people in anyway I can and plus I have NO one what's so ever to talk to about what I'm going threw and its very hard for me. Anyways I really hope the best to your son and hope we hear back on his progress. Thanks and god bless Julez
Avatar universal
WELL I have been on methadone a year now as of Feb.16, 2013 for opiates usage. It has very well been awesome on helpn me be successful in correct my addiction and things dat were becoming complicated my personal life. In doing dat is all good but I'm starting to feel sum side effects, I suppose. I've beento the doctor on different occasions and it's nothing health wise so the only thing I could come to wuz da side effects of da methadone. I ache real bad in my legs, back, just my bones period, knees especially, allll the time I can hardly walk sometimes. I've gained ova 60 lbs n 3 months, I swell up like a balloon at times,don't sleep very well at night at all, wake up consistently all threw the night. I'm so sick of feeln dis way n it's very UN normal for ME
I'M train to see I'm da only one or is sumone else out there having the same symptoms as me!"""Anybody?
Avatar universal
How long did it take you to stop having withdrawls from the methadone?  Was there anything you done to help you threw them?
Avatar universal
I have never heard of anyone gaining weight or swelling from methadone but everyone is different. I would talk to your dr about the things you are going thru. There could be something else going on. Good luck.
Avatar universal
I've seen a lot people swell up off methadone. I come from a small town where drugs are very prevelant. And to weaver we absolutely don't consider how many times our loved ones lay awake next to us hoping we take another breath. Phone in hand waiting to save our life because they believe in us. Methadone is a scary addiction and although it allowed me to go back to school and fulfill my life long (Im 27) dream of becoming an LPN (nurse). It allowed me to walk in a fog and still self medicate. It pulled me away from my family and friends. And I couldn't see any of it. It seems that anyone who has been on methadone the past decade didn't know. They were told it was the right thing to do that it may be a lifelong treatment but that it would help us become functioning members of society. That was and is their selling point. But there are enough of us now that we know. Methadone is not the answer. Methadone is the disease!!! I have made it to 35 days clean but at a high price. I have lost my job, I have lost even more. I've lost my sense of pride and strength. It has literally knocked me on my *** for all of these 35 days. Methadone gave me a false sense of hope. It preyed on my weakness on such a young age and it allowed me to use legally for 8 years of my young life. You don't get that time back you can only hope to make some sort of amends for it in the future. I struggle still everyday. I question whether or not I'm a good nurse and I ask myself can I help these people if I cannot help myself? I feel guilt for my sister for those I left behind still strangled in the grips of addiction and I try to remember each day why I'm doing this but it takes 100% of what I have everyday!!! I prolonged and worsened. I'am fighting everything now that Methadone was supposed to cure.
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