Addiction: Living with an Addict Community
1.15k Members
Avatar universal

Mom of a heroin user

I am new to this. Being a mother of an addict and using a forum/blog for help. In the past 4 years my daughter has gone from a gorgeous, chaste religious hottie, to a heroin smoking, lying addict. Her life and attitude has done a 180. I don't even recognize her anymore. This is consuming my life.
Any help or advice would certainly help me get through another sleepless night.
8 Responses
1530493 tn?1410056636
I'm glad you found your way here, new is scary, but you just took a big first step reaching out.
I'm debbie and I'm a mom of a going on 4 year recovering iv heroin addict.
first thing I want to tell you. ..is there is hope, a lot of it.
we have mom's here in all stages of addiction with their children,  so your in a good place to find help with any question you have any advice you need or just to get it all out.
it also helps tremendously to learn all you can about addiction through your daughters eyes.  We have a great guide nighthawk she a recovering addict, that will open her heart to you. ..I'm sure she'll be around.
So tell us where things stand with your daughter.
Her age,  rehabs ? Does she live with you...what you've tried.
your no longer alone
Avatar universal
Wow. Thank you. I'm sitting here at my cabin with my daughter, who is 26 and been smoking heroin for 3+ years. I'm here trying to detox her. She is adamant about not going to a medical facility. However, she has been high since being here. I thought I checked everything. Obviously not.
She is a completely different person than 5 years ago.
I'm at the point where I want to give up on her. I have no $$ to assist her recovery and she is no longer on our insurance. She can't pay her rent or bills because she can't hold a job. I don't want her at home because I don't want illegal stuff in my home. Plus I have a 3 year old granddaughter I tend.
Sometimes I can't bear the sadness.  Like now. She's turned mean.
Thank you for offering me hope.  I pray for hope, and an end to her struggle.
3060903 tn?1398565123
HI there, my name is LIz, and i'm so glad that you found the forum and are willing to reach out. You mentioned that your daughter has no insurance for rehab, and i'm wondering if there are any rehabs that are run by the church that might be available for you daughter. Can you tell us where you are, and maybe we can help try to locate some kind of help for you?

Are you close to a town, where there may be an NarAnon or Alanon meeting? You can also access either of the two, online..
NarAnon is a family program that will help you to stop any enabling, that might be happening, and of the utmost importance, to help you to focus on more than your daughters addiction. I know that hardly sounds plausible, but it is nonetheless, possible.

1530493 tn?1410056636
I sent you a message, go to the top of your page ...click on "my med help", you should see it from there.  
Hope your doing ok
3060903 tn?1398565123
So what's happening is this. You are taking the time to try one last ditched attempt to save your daughter by detoxing her and talking to people that know the moved that she must make. You have a granddaughter that you tend regularly and obviously it is unacceptable to have a youngster around active heroin use. If you and your daughter cannot make this work, then there is no choice but to send your daughter out onto the streets. It would not benefit your daughter to pay for her to have her own place, and enable her further to use hard drugs. If you do enable your daughter that way, and she get's a bad batch of heroin, which happens, and she dies, her blood will literally be on your hands. These are the hard facts of heroin addiction.

Your daughter is there with you now, please talk to her and ask her if she would contact me on my profile page. Your daughter seriously needs to talk to another women that chose her drug (it was heroin and crack in my case). who DID end up on the streets with a hard drug habit. You need if you can (and you can) to introduce your daughter to a hard case, (myself will do) and talk about the realities of living on the street with a drug habit such as ours. It took me years to get off the street, and the things that happened on the streets are simply too horrific to tell anyone on this site, other than for the reason of trying to get through to another addict on the brink of their destruction.

Just so that you know and can relay to your daughter that anything that that myself and your daughter talk about is totally no body else's business. In order to make this into a safe place for your daughter to talk and to listen, i suggest that she use her own email address to set up her own account on Medhelp so that she can have complete privacy if she takes up the challenge and talks to another heroin addict).

Honestly, i remember very clearly being in exactly the same position as you and your daughter are today. She is on the brink of a life that can get so low, that she may never recover. Only by talking to another addict who has been where she is, can she feel that she is being heard. An addict cannot relate to those who do not suffer from addiction, no matter how much they may love their non using folks, no matter whether they are grasping the sense that a non addict makes, they simply are so far away from what is normal, when their using that they cannot follow. What does make a difference to using addicts , are other addicts.

I would like for you to let your daughter know that there is a heroin addict who got clean after 26 years, who really wants to talk to her , right now, before she is no longer in a place that she is able to communicate on medhelp. In other words, once she hits the streets, if she has a computer now, and brings it with her to the streets, it will be sold for drugs, and she will no longer have the opportunity to hear from another addict who managed to get clean and sober. I'm NOT here to preach. I am only here to either say hello, or goodbye,  before she goes on her journey.  Because i know that you won't be able to enable your daughter for very much longer, (by having her there with you when she is still using) and that you are going to have to return to your life minus the drama of drug use.

I can help her to understand , that you cannot stay in this life that she has chosen and I can help her to foresee what will happen next on her road with drug addiction.

Can you ask her to please open an account and try to talk to another heroin addict, before she no longer has a computer?

1530493 tn?1410056636
Nighthawk...you ARE a special one !!!!!

Thankstoyou...please take nighthawks offer.
having someone like her on your side is a rare gift, not many of us will be given that opportunity

We don't understand our kids position, my son always said to me...mom, you just don't understand.   He was right,  I understood my side which he didn't,  but until I was taught by an active addict that cared enough... I was in the dark.
nighthawk can guide her in ways that we can't. ..the main thing is for her to see there IS hope...nighthawk can do that for her.
It's time to get tough and know in your heart...your doing this for her
Your in our thought
Avatar universal
My daughter is coming home today for a dental visit. I want her teeth taken care of before she moves with her boyfriend to Missouri. I'm scared for her to leave. But maybe she needs to get away from user friends and her dealers. I think she had sold most of her stuff for drugs. I will see if she is open to talking on here.
Thank you for your understanding and advice. Things have gotten worse but she is still trying to communicate with us.
I believe she had stolen things then sold them for money. She might even be selling herself.
I'm getting depressed. *sadsmile*
Thanks again.
I'm unable to ask questions anymore...but maybe someone here can help.
I really need to get my daughter in a rehab facility. For heroin. She is willing to go now. But every place wants large amounts of money or insurance or both. She is no longer on my insurance but she does have medicaid. Is there any place that takes medicaid or has some kind of state funding?
Thanks for any help
1530493 tn?1410056636
Hi ...just saw your post.
hope your doing better.
your daughter moving might be a good thing. ..hope the boyfriend is not a user though.
anyways please keep us updated, your in our thoughts
Have an Answer?
Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
3060903 tn?1398565123
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
For people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the COVID-19 pandemic can be particularly challenging.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.