Addiction: Living with an Addict Community
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Avatar universal

My son

I have a son that is 25 yrs old and has been doing one kind of a drug or another for 10years. His drug of choice now is Herion and cocaine. He tells me he is off of drugs but the signs prove other wise. He wants to move in with my husband and I and as much as I think him being with us would help I'm terrified. He is an addict through and through.....he lies and can manipulate with the best. I really want to help him and giving him a home with love and suport might be the ticket to his recovery. But then on the other hand he swears over and over he's off of it but he brings marajuana into my home. The other day when he was visiting I walked into the bathroom after he'd just walked out and he had one of my candles burning. I didn't think much about it until the following morning when I found black soot on the counter top. He is clamy all the time.......cold then hot.......he can nod off at the drop of a hat.......he doesn't sleep well and he's always going into the bathroom every few hours and staying for 10-15min. He says it's his bowels. I love my son.....I am terrified he is going to kill himself one of these days......not that he hasn't had a few close calls already. I don't know what to do to get him to finaly stay off the stuff. He's tryed suboxon a couple of times and only takes it for a week or two at the most. I tell him that isn't enough time for him to stay clean. I told him if he wanted to come live with us he has to have all his fines and warrents paid off, has to end his friendships with his friends as they are all druggies or trying to get clean as he tells me, also he has to take sporatice drug testing at my disgression and there is to be no drugs allowed in my home. He says he would do the drug testing whenever I wanted him to but didn't want to get rid of the friend. My heart breaks for him. He refuses to go to God, to go to NA or AA. I have two other children that have been on drugs and are now drug free.......they say he's still using and dont want to be around him because it bothers them and their recovery. If I let him move in and he uses it would break my heart to kick him out. He has an apartment now and works every day......you wouldn't know he's using as he's so good at it he doesn't skip a beat. Can I do anything for him........the family has been talking about intervention. I don't know if that would make it worse. I don't want to take away my support for punishment for not staying clean. I know that drug addicts wont quit until they want to so if that's the case how do I convince my son that he needs to or to turn him around. Every time I see him I'm so scared it's the last time. I would just die of heart break to loose my son.........some thing I don't know if I could bear. What do I do?? Please give me some advice..........I want him to live a long and healthy life.....
4 Responses
Avatar universal
First of all, based on everything you wrote, he is doing heroin. That is probably the hardest drug to kick, and you are right he is an addict. Unfortunately, I have a bad feeling you are going to get played again, and nothing good will come of taking him in. Do you or he have the resources to go to an inpatient rehab. He needs help from outside his family, and he needs to get away from his friends that do drugs. I would definility recommend an out of state 90 day inpatient rehab. That i think is his only true chance to successfully kick his habits. Good luck.
Avatar universal
ps. go the addiction substance abuse forum. There are tons of great people with great advice in there.
Avatar universal
my son is a herion addicts he has been using for about three years he is 23 it started after a accident in which he crushed his feet.  he has in trouble with the law he is currently in jail, for 160 days he wants us to get him out and tells me he will go on suboction and attend meeting and go to see a phycologist.  He has not every talk about his accident and want to get some help. do I get him out or do i leave him in jail? will jail help him or make it worse do I get him out and get him the help he needs.
Avatar universal
My son has been going through a tough time these last couple of years.It started in grade 7 and continues in grade 8 if not worse now.All his friends and I mean all (his whole class,not exaggerating) is smoking,drinkig and most of all smoking pot. I am shocked at the early age that this is starting at. Even more scary then that is that it is happening as early as grade 9 entering highschool (which my son will be going to in Sept.) They are experementing with cocaine,ectasy (snorting ectasy) and in some cases heroine! Oh and  by the way they are also dealing it. Regardless to say I am terrified!!! One thing that I am really proud of is that my son talks to me about pretty much everythng,who does  it,who got caught and is suspended from school. Also the peer pressure is worse than ever now. He was staying away from all that (as far as I know) and would turn it down,make exuses like we talked about,heading home or use me for an excuse to come home when his friends were doing it (mostly weed and smoking that is) he was making good choicies and I was so proud of him and would let him know it. Then he came to me last year feeling horrible and ashamed because he had tried a cigarrette at his friends one night when he slept over. My heart sank but I listened and we talked it out calmly.Now it's gotten worse with his friends they are really at him to smoke a joint and he just confided in me that he has smoked a cigarette here and there to get out of smoking pot. Of course we had a big discussion about it and he feels ashamed about it ,he wants to move,he's wanted me to ground him to get away from it.I know he needs a new group of friends to hang around but like I said it's literally everyone except a couple girls. I don't know what to do....I mean he confided in me.....it's like a cry for help...and he is ashamed about it....do I punish him?...what is a good punishment for that? I want to help him....I'm at a loss for words.....anybody at all know what to do or has experienced the same thing.?
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