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Once and Addict..always an addict?

probably a very hard question to answer but i would love to know the percentages of people relapsing on perks? my husband of two months just came clean to me that he has a 3 30s pill-a-day addiction to perks. He has been stealing, lying and keeping this from me off and on for 7 years now. some yrs he said he only did them 'once in a while with friends', two years ago it got bad when he hurt his knee and just recently is out of work so he turned the addiction up a notch to almost every day. I am upset as you can imagine and so angry and asking the 'why's' its hard for me to understand. ive never done a drug in my life, i pay my bills on time and ive been supporting him financially for months now. .........he is seeking help and he says he will prove me he can get better and win me back.....will he relapse? can recovery work and will he someday think 'oh i can just have one more'.
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271792 tn?1334979657
I am sorry honey but yes..once an addict always an addict. That being said, anyone can choose to be an addict "in recovery" or an addict "using". Addiction is not an excuse. It is a reality. Addiction IS a disease. Even if he stopped using he would be an addict.

My heart breaks for you. What do you think you want to do for YOU?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
well.....this is all so new. it just happened a couple days ago. i am still in shock. the amount of lies and stealing is like mind blowing. i cant believe i didnt see it coming. He is always taking long showers, up all night, not eating and even convince me/him that he has a 'stomach problem'. i listen to him vomit and have other stomach issues all the time for the past year. im such an idiot!!!! he has been going to the stomach doctor, doing blood work and always says its just stress related (losing his job). and i didnt think for a second to ask him about pills. his parents and i discovered a perk problem 2 years ago but he said it was handled..we found out a few months after he took his 'last one'. we and him didnt think he needed treatment we let it go. i have kicked him out of my house and he is staying with his parents and getting out patient help..meetings, etc. i dont know if that is enough for him but its a start i suppose. im just trying to get out of bed and take it day by day. he has such an addictive personalty that im afraid if he is around it down the road he will take them again.

so sorry to ramble!!
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Avatar universal
I'm sorry for what you are going through..

To answer your question, once your an addict does not mean forever you are an addict. People can change their ways when it comes to substance abuse. Iv seen so many cases and iv seen people turn their lives around. No you can't change a person, but you can change their addictive behavior.

For someone to say once and addict always an addict, i believe that person has no faith in people at all. Many are addicts due to depression, pain, lifestyle etc....they can be helped. I have faith in your husband and all he needs is your faith in him. Take care sweetie.

Much Love, Lexis
Helpful - 0
186166 tn?1385259382
"For someone to say once and addict always an addict, i believe that person has no faith in people at all. Many are addicts due to depression, pain, lifestyle etc....they can be helped. I have faith in your husband and all he needs is your faith in him."

i find so much fault in this paragraph.

ADDICTION IS A DISEASE.  getting clean does not mean that someone is no longer an addict…that the disease of addiction goes away.  it doesn't matter what caused someone to become addicted…addiction is addiction.  is it possible for someone to live a life in recovery?  absolutely…but they still have the disease of addiction.

telling someone that all their loved one (the addict) needs is for them to "have faith" in the addict is just unrealistic.  if love and faith were all that was needed, there would be no addicts.  it is totally…100%…the responsibility of the addict to change their life.  we can support them…but ultimately it is up to the addict.  

let's say that we support our "addict"…but they refuse to do the work to get clean.  does that mean it's our fault???  NOOOOOO
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I understand where you are coming from, but I stand by what I said. When people say once an addict always an addict  I honestly know that's not true. And that's not opinion that's facts from studys. And when I said "have faith in him" I meant support him, be there for him. He; obviously loves her, that is her husband. If you were an addict wouldn't you want support? And if you read my post again, I also said you can't change a person, but you can change their addiction behavior. Take this into consideration, put yourself in that persons shoes, go through a rough time and develop addictive behavior, now should you be called an addict for the rest of your life?  Even after extensive treatmeant?
,
That's my point. And you made some good ones as well, but to label someone with that word is ridiculous. I honestly am not trying to be rude I'm just speaking not only from my heart, but as a professional.

Much Love, Lexis
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
LIZZIE LOU, and yes you are right, we can't help them 100% they have to be willing to want the change. All I'm trying to say is one I do agree that someone with an addictive personality will always have that disease, but they should not be labeled addicts for the rest of their lives. So once and addict always an addict is false to me.

Much Love, Lexis
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Addiction is a disease... Once an addict, always an addict BUT that doesn't mean you can't be a RECOVERING addict
Helpful - 0
4522800 tn?1470325834
Yep!! I am a Recovering Addict. I just know if I put my DOC back in my Mouth or up my Nose it will start the Pleasure Part (survival) part of the Brain up again and it would start with just that "ONE" ..Been down this road for TOO many years.
You can look up alot on the net now about the "Disease of Addiction" or even the "Disease of Addiction and the Pleasure Pathway beyond Willpower..They have now broke this down in a more scientific way and how the Brain works or is affected by Drugs..Different drugs hit different Brain chems, receptors, transmitters and so on..They are doing studies to show that people who get Addicted to things have low Dopamine (D2)..Thus we find something that gives us a surge of pleasure..Many different Addictions out here and for many different reasons like Emotional etc, etc..I am glad he is Getting Support..It takes a Whole New Life Style Change and we can not go around people, places and things that can cause triggers. The most work that I have to do, is to live in my own skin when Life throws me some curve balls..No more hiding behind a Substance.
I wish him the Best..He has to get Support in all areas of his Life. Telling the Drs, Family, Friends, Church just might save his life..
Bless
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Avatar universal
Great post Vic
Helpful - 0
186166 tn?1385259382
"Take this into consideration, put yourself in that persons shoes, go through a rough time and develop addictive behavior, now should you be called an addict for the rest of your life?  Even after extensive treatment?"

yes

my youngest son was getting married last year.  there was going to be alcohol served at the rehearsal dinner (given by me).  his brother is a RECOVERING addict…alcoholic, clean for 4 years.  i went to my son and had a conversation about this…wondering if being there, with everyone drinking, was going to be too big of a trigger for him.  WHY did i do this???  because, even though he's been clean, he's STILL AN ADDICT and i support his RECOVERY.

" I also said you can't change a person, but you can change their addiction behavior."

REALLY?  how so????
Helpful - 0
6726276 tn?1421126668
Let us compare Alcoholism with Drug Addiction.
     I think because "Grown Ups" have displayed more Alcoholism it may be easier to understand.
       Most of us now know that Alcoholism is a disease. Drink or stay dry. No middle ground.  
      Drugs are just like drink to the Alcoholic. Use or stay clean. Can not do it any other way. Because it is a Disease.  
       Not everyone has this Disease. Just like not everyone in the world has Parkinson's Disease.  
       Right now Dec 2013, there is no cure for Alcoholism,Drug Addiction or Parkinson's Disease.
       People can learn to live with their Disease. Some medication is proven to
be useful in living with your disease.  Support groups help people deal with their disease.
       Now,some people do not have the Tolerance to live this demanding life.  
I know a man who's wife divorced him after he got sick with the disease of multiple sclerosis.  She could not cope. She decided she wanted children & a different life. With the divorce rate at 50% not everyone stays till death do us part.
     Is leaving a Drug addict better or worse than leaving someone with a different disease?  The uninformed general public may say, well, the guy in the wheel chair,it's not his fault. But the drug addict has a choice.
   I maintain to the uninformed general public, that in fact not every person with the disease of Alcoholism, or the disease of drug addiction learns every single tool to live forever in recovery at the age of 20.
      There is to date no cure.                          Pamela
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi Sassy1444, when I first discovered my husbands addiction, I set out to educate myself. I found this article written in laymen's terms on how addiction alters the brain. So, yes, once and addict always an addict:

http://www.****.org/message_board/index.php?act=ST&f=19&t=19492

It is well worth the read and I hope it helps.
Helpful - 0
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