Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Tragedy

I posted a topic called "toxic people" the other day, only to find out this morning that said person passed away this morning. My boyfriend is in rehab, i have no way of contacting him, and even though this person was a terrible influence, he was also my boyfriends best friend. His mother tried to contact his counselor to ask advice on when and how we should tell him, but apparently he is out of the office until monday. Has anyone had experience with this? Especially addicts in recovery?
4 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
I have read a few of your posts. It sounds as though you are really entangled in your partners rehab. It is not your responsibility to protect him from toxic people. Also there is no need to deal with the issue posted above at the moment. Let him finish his rehab. Also, I think you need to looks after you. Take care of yourself. Look at your own behaviors and see if maybe you have rescuer tendencies. This is a relationship entanglement.
Helpful - 0
3060903 tn?1398565123
I think that most long term addicts lose friends to jail and death. It comes with the territory. It can have a very positive effect, a wake up call of sorts. It can set into motion a very profound experience for the addict. I'm actually visited by my dead spouses who both died due to addiction (theirs and mine sadly). This might be the very thing that helps him to fully understand the rehab saying that addiction always leads to hospitals jails or death. As sad as it is, it probably couldn't have come at a better time, while he is in rehab where he has the therapists there to help him deal  with the guilt and sadness that he will be feeling. No better place or people to help him than where he is right now. God help him.

Be good to yourself. Let Go and Let God. If you haven't already, you might try to go to Alanon or Narc Anon and learn about this disease and how you can best support your bf as he works on his end. l

Tell him that you don't want to get that call for his untimely death. and that he should NOT let his friend's death be in vain. Tell him to honor his friend's life by doing what his friend now wishes from the grave that he did, JUST SAY NO. STICK WITH THE WINNERS (IN AA). 90 MEETINGS IN 90 DAYS. GET INVOLVED IN SERVICE WORK IN AA. DO THE 12 STEPS. ETC.  

I will pray for your loved one. God  bless you for caring so deeply. If you ever need to talk, just private message me. Liz.
Helpful - 0
1530493 tn?1410056636
That is so sad to read.
With him being in recovery. ..I would leave it in the counselors hands as how to proceed.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh no! That is awful! Why don't you try posting this in the substance abuse community to get a recovering addicts perspective on how to best be there for him right now/
Helpful - 0

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Living with an Addict Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
3060903 tn?1398565123
Other
Learn About Top Answerers
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.