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3065255 tn?1345762771

acceptance

31 days clean for me as an enabler.I can I make my wife accept the fact that she is an addict?
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Congrats on your clean time from enabling!!  I like how you put that!  As for your question, You cant make your wife accept the fact.  She has to come up with that all by herself.  When she does the healing will be begin for her.  Until then you keep taking care of yourself.  You cant control the situation, all you can do is control how you react to it.  
Helpful - 0
2030769 tn?1343647674
it has taken me most of my life to learn this, but i think the only chance we have of getting the addicts to look at their addiction is to stop enabling them and let them see and face their mess completely and fully.
Helpful - 0
3065255 tn?1345762771
Thank you. More improvements, but I'm not counting on anything and I'm on my guard. When she tries drama I walk away or answer calmly and don't fall into it. Sometimes it's hard not to react, but I stay focused. When she tries manipulations I don't get manipulated. i have her number.
Helpful - 0
3065255 tn?1345762771
I want to be in your position, and be able to help others on this site. I already do it as a nurse, but I feel like such a fool!
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
You are no fool diva, not even close~~
Helpful - 0
1436598 tn?1332896533
You are doing great!  Keep looking out for YOU!  Your wife will hopefully get there as she is forced to accept the fallout of her choices without the cushion that she has come to expect.  If not, at least you will be making healthy choices for you!
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
How are you doing diva?
Helpful - 0
3065255 tn?1345762771
I am actually very well, thanks. My wife's behavior has been impeccable since I stopped responding to drama. I'm rested, knowing I don't have to fight everything. I still expect an announcement that she is going far away on a whim, but it isn't going to surprise me or break my heart anymore. She paid the mortgage this month and all the house bills! We've been making each other laugh as in old days. I'm not fooled by all this, because she is hiding her insanity better, not accepting it.

How are you, having lost one of your love-critters?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
help! my husband is addicted on PCP! he will been fine for a couple of days ,& i think he is trying to stop & than all of a sudden he gets it again & smokes it all day long! before breakfast ,before driving to work, when he gets home--I go into fits of rage! I,m telling you I don;t even no what I'm capable of doing anymore he is making me crazy with hos lies & sneaking this drug!!  he tells me Im bi-poluar (sorry spelled wrong) because I,m sweet & good for days than all of a sudden I explode! I tried explaining to him that I,m ok with a normal marriage,not a drug induced husband & drugs make me crazy ! I throw things & hit him & scream my head off,so he states that if I just let him be, he pays the bills ,doesn;t hurt anyone ,for me to just find a hobby & not be bothered by him he has it un control?? Im I that stupid & out of control or what?
Helpful - 0
3117298 tn?1342386052
He down plays his addiction. That happens. I think that is how most addicts deal with guilt. I get it all the time and I am one step from completely losing my mind! I know how you are feeling.
Helpful - 0
186166 tn?1385259382
ENABLING are it's best ! ! !

why would an addict have a desire to do something about their addiction when they are having the best of both worlds?

they can do their drugs and "the enabler" allows it to continue.

BOUNDARIES ppl.
Helpful - 0
186166 tn?1385259382
ooops...should have read "ENABLING at it's best ! ! !"
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You can't make an addict do anything, unfortunately.
Helpful - 0
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