Hi and welcome. You been in a partying life style and it has run its course. I dont blame you for wanting to stop as it is a viscious cycle. Your maturing and getting your values right. Good for you.
You sound like you have an addiction for sure and can get off of it yourself but it can be a struggle. You can go to some treatment centers or if you mind is strong, get some therepy during the withdrawal process. The pain pills are a bid tough to quit but the crack a bit easier.
To break this cycle you might have to get out of the whole circle of people you are associating with.
Try starting with having a long sitdown talk with hubby and tell him all that you are feeling. Let im know that you have made this decision and want to know if he is with you or against you. If he is against you, then you know what you have to do. Also talk to him about counciling. Really stress to him that this is something you have to do.
keep posting as you will get a lot of help here.
Welcome Mimi!! Boy, can I relate to being an addict and loving one!
Which "thing" do you want to address first?? Ha! I'm not making fun here
I guess for me, I addressed the "loving an addict" first, but now many yrs later, I am a recovering opiate addict. So, my first suggestion would be to be sure and read a lot in the other forum on Medhelp called "Substance Abuse Community". Lots of activity, love, experence strength and hope there. That will help you with your addiction.
For help with "living with an addict", to me, no better place to learn than from Al-Anon or Narc-Anon meetings, at least reading their literature, and also a good book called "CoDependent No More" by Melody something??
Ha! You can check it out on Amazon or somewhere and you'll find it.
It's a very well read book. Lots of my Al-Anon friends read it and suggested I read it, too. There are so many amazing tools to help you.
I'd start by educating yourself about addiction and codependency. It is so common for us to become addicted to a loved one. Then we get sucked into their behaviors and lose "who" we are. I have 5 sisters and 1 brother.
We are all codependent and affected by the illness that pervades a home where addiction is active. One sister has never abused any substance, but got so sick just growing up in an alcoholic home she called me very suicidal and begged me to come get her and take her to trmt. That was many many yrs ago, but my point is, addiction can make the "non-user" even sicker than the "user". Cause at least the user has a temporary way to "mask" stuff by using. Hope this helps you.....keep posting and learning! It DOES get better......and this is a great place to love and learn!
Blessings to you~