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Adderall OD

I posted this this morning and thought I posted on this board too.  But anyway...

It was true when I said I have been busy at work and haven’t been around, but that’s not everything.  I have been dealing with more.  I ended up in the ER on Tuesday night.  I know, why do I keep living this life?  Anyway I started Adderall awhile ago and started taking more of it than I should.  Once again something gave me that good feeling and I lost all sense of control.  I am supposed to take 2 a day.  On Tuesday I was taking them all day long – non stop.  That stuff is like speed.  But I felt good, I felt happy and I was working like a machine.  I felt on top of the world.  When I got home I took more – 6 at once.  I have such a high tolerance for pain meds that I think I’m invincible with anything.  Big mistake.  So I overdosed.  I ended up in the ER with my blood pressure through the roof and my heart rate hit numbers I didn’t think were possible.  I was losing the feeling in my upper legs and in my right hand.  I couldn’t breath and the chest pains were so bad I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

This was the worst experience.  Besides thinking I was going to die I had a husband who couldn’t get past his frustration to help me when I confessed what was going on, and a nurse who said things that were just plain mean.  I know I did something stupid, but I needed help.  

I can’t figure out why I feel like I can’t live without having something to take to feel happy.  When my husband was upset he told me “It’s always SOMETHING” and he’s right.  I stopped drinking, but I went back to the pills.  When I stopped the pain pills I went to Aderrall.  I can give up any addiction – as long as there’s another one to take it’s place.  Why?

I am figuring out what I need to do to get some serious help.  I need it because I can’t do this.  The thought of living with NOTHING scares me.  I know I’ve done it before, so I need to get there again.

My psychiatrist is an Addition Specialist but I don’t want to see him for this after what happened.  He is the one who gave me the Adderall and when he was going to try something else I had him stick to Adderall because I knew it gave you energy and all that stuff.  So I need to find someone and lay it ALL out on the table.  I talked to one doctor who was full but gave me some really good recommendations.

I spent yesterday making some calls and now I am just deciding what I need to do.
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I’m doing better today.  I have an appointment on Wednesday night to start my substance abuse therapy.  I think it will be really good.  I need to get this addiction thing under control because I don’t want to live my life like this.  I want to get clean and stay that way.  I have am having more xrays and another MRI done on my back and then I am going to start getting steroid shots to see if that helps.  I have to find ways of dealing with it without the pain meds.  It’s hard because I have been on them for so long that mentally and physically I will have to learn to live without them.
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I'm currently on Methadone I have used MMT in the past and every time I think I'm goid I get off and relapse. But while on MMT I'm clean work go to meetings and live a productive life. Bottom line absenanse is not for everyone. They have done studys and after years of especially opiate abuse something in are brains becomes permanently damaged and to function normaly we may need something to fill that void. Methadone for me does that and I'm alive again for the first time in years. If your diabetic you will take your daily insulun to live well Methadone to me is my Insulin and people can think and say what they want.
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thats some rough stuff... when my husband was really bad he was going back and forth with cocaine, percocets,methadone, vikes, benzos and ritalin too... and i really think his bottom or his breakdown was  definately a combination of all the drugs combined...but the ritalin really screwed him up BAD...   i do know how you feel...the thought of taking nothing scares me too...but at the same time i am excited about it...with me its more than that...what if i dont like "the real me" or "how the real me feels"???    the "real me" has been absent for some time now, ii am really glad you are okay and still on this earth with us all....i am here to chat if you need to...
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Thank you so much... it does help knowing that you know what I am going through.  If you have time later, shoot me an email (listed on my profile).  I'm really interested in what your husband went through, and what you are going through now.

Thanks again...
Jen
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are you up late?   i usually am BUT my husband has been getting pissed off at me because he has been going up to bed alone everynight because i am here on "THE FORUM" posting until about 2 am, so i am not sure how long i will be online tonight??  just let me know how late you are on the computer usually?  you can e-mail me also, my address isnt on my profile right now, but i will put it there right this minute....  will try to catch up with you at some point tonight)  i have been trying to get my husband to come here and just read,  so maybe he will tonight??? and maybe he can post to you himself...i wish he would at least come here and just read...peace&love
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176495 tn?1301284012
my 18 year old daughter was prescribed adderol.  We had them give them to us and we'd hand them out to her per doc's instructions.  Somehow she got ahold of them and she and a friend snorted
3 of them.  She was one out of control young woman for a couple days to the point we almost
had her hauled off to the hospital after a particularly nasty altercation with her mother.  Her mother
was against the hospital...I was for it.

good luck to you wait2long.

BG
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176495 tn?1301284012
Oops..I meant Caljean
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221016 tn?1196977061
I hope you are doing ok now. That is very scarey what happened to you. I feel in the same boat as you and have to find a addiction specialist. I can't do this on my own.

Take care,
Tim
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Dear Calijen-
I am so sorry for you.  It sounds like you are trying to get help.  I feel for you because there must be some underlying  problems that you need to deal with so you can get a hold on your addictions.  I am speaking from my own experience.  I am a lot like  you.  Not to get into that,  That would be a whole book.  Please try to be more careful and take care of yourself.  If  you ever, ever need someone to talk to please take my email address right now ***@****.  It makes me sad your husband and the nurse were being not to understanding because that is what you need right now.  I know I have been there.   Please take care of yourself and just take it one day at a time.  Keep your spirits up and know that everyone is rooting for you to get better.  Lots of well wishes...Amanda
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I had some exceptionally bad back pain about a month ago.  I went to my Dr and she gave me 2 steriod shots, that also had some numbing medicine in it.  I was just amazed, they were incredible.  She also gave me a arthritis med called relafin (non addictive)  the 2 together have cured my back for the time being.  No back problems since then.  I would highly suggest trying the shots, I wish I would have done it years ago!
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