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Are we Different?
Hello all,
I am new to this Forum and this is my first post.
I have been around many kinds of addictions for many years ( Rx and non Rx). I came out clean few years ago, moved away and started a new life. After coming out clean i thought that after all the pain that i went through, i will NEVER relapse. I was extremely happy and proud. I moved to the U.S. got a great job, got married, and have a baby.
A couple of years ago, i hurt my back and was presicribed Vicodin 5/500. Being from another country, Vicodin was new to me and didn'y know it was a narc. I still remember the first pill i took. It hit me like there is no tomorrow. My addictive personality ignored the fact that there might be something wrong here and maybe i should stop it immediatley and flush them in the toilet. I finished the bottle without abusing and my back pain got a little better without asking for a refill. a year later, i moved to Southern CA. few months later, i got into 2 car accidents in one month was given 20 Vics each time. Once done with the second bottle, and while looking for something else for pain in my in-laws pharmacy i found a bottle of Vicodin presicribed to a family member. It was full and about to exipre. My addictive personality took over my judgment one more time and i took a couple of pills that day....few more another day...until the bottle was over. Being on the pill made me feel better and i was working more than 60 hours /week, not to mention that my back pain was gone. After we had our first baby and with more than 60 hours of work / week, my back went bad again, so i went to see a doctor and was prescribed 120 vics/ month. As of today, it has been a little over a year non stop and almost every month i try to get my refill early because i run out. I never bought it off the street because im against that due to my previous addictions.
Everytime i try to quit, i get the worst lower back burning pain and loose my energy, Zero energy, i can't even walk sometimes.
Is anyone else having burning back pain when they quit? do you feel that you want to break your back just to release the pressure? Is my back pain because of the pain or the addiction? I know what it takes to get over it but i can't do it...my job and family responsablilities will not allow it. I've done in the past but i had no family, and i didn't care much about my job back then.
I an currently taking from 4 to 10 pill/day depending on how strong i feel that day.
Am i totally addicted? Any advise, thoughts or suggestions will be appreciated.
Thanks
Dimboy
I am new to this Forum and this is my first post.
I have been around many kinds of addictions for many years ( Rx and non Rx). I came out clean few years ago, moved away and started a new life. After coming out clean i thought that after all the pain that i went through, i will NEVER relapse. I was extremely happy and proud. I moved to the U.S. got a great job, got married, and have a baby.
A couple of years ago, i hurt my back and was presicribed Vicodin 5/500. Being from another country, Vicodin was new to me and didn'y know it was a narc. I still remember the first pill i took. It hit me like there is no tomorrow. My addictive personality ignored the fact that there might be something wrong here and maybe i should stop it immediatley and flush them in the toilet. I finished the bottle without abusing and my back pain got a little better without asking for a refill. a year later, i moved to Southern CA. few months later, i got into 2 car accidents in one month was given 20 Vics each time. Once done with the second bottle, and while looking for something else for pain in my in-laws pharmacy i found a bottle of Vicodin presicribed to a family member. It was full and about to exipre. My addictive personality took over my judgment one more time and i took a couple of pills that day....few more another day...until the bottle was over. Being on the pill made me feel better and i was working more than 60 hours /week, not to mention that my back pain was gone. After we had our first baby and with more than 60 hours of work / week, my back went bad again, so i went to see a doctor and was prescribed 120 vics/ month. As of today, it has been a little over a year non stop and almost every month i try to get my refill early because i run out. I never bought it off the street because im against that due to my previous addictions.
Everytime i try to quit, i get the worst lower back burning pain and loose my energy, Zero energy, i can't even walk sometimes.
Is anyone else having burning back pain when they quit? do you feel that you want to break your back just to release the pressure? Is my back pain because of the pain or the addiction? I know what it takes to get over it but i can't do it...my job and family responsablilities will not allow it. I've done in the past but i had no family, and i didn't care much about my job back then.
I an currently taking from 4 to 10 pill/day depending on how strong i feel that day.
Am i totally addicted? Any advise, thoughts or suggestions will be appreciated.
Thanks
Dimboy
Nice meeting you too. You might want to get some of the ingredients from The Thomas Recipe if you are going to be forced to be in withdrawals. It wont take them away but will help with the symptoms. You can find it by typing the name into the search box above..
Hugs
tzt
Hugs
tzt
Im from the other side of the world. Been here for few years though. Feel free to add me to your yahoo. would love to chat when things are going bad if you don't mind
I am in Sacramento...
My husband knows about my addiction and while my family (parents, brother, etc) and in-laws know about it, they don't know I relapsed after getting clean last year. I quit drinking and pills last June but only stayed clean off the pills for a couple of months - until now. So I guess they "kinda" know. My kids are 2 and 3 1/2 so they are too young, although at the end every time I would get ready to leave my daughter would ask if I was going to go get more medicine. That that was a HUGE wake up call for me.
I would love to meet you great people from the forum, I hope I can one day.
My husband knows about my addiction and while my family (parents, brother, etc) and in-laws know about it, they don't know I relapsed after getting clean last year. I quit drinking and pills last June but only stayed clean off the pills for a couple of months - until now. So I guess they "kinda" know. My kids are 2 and 3 1/2 so they are too young, although at the end every time I would get ready to leave my daughter would ask if I was going to go get more medicine. That that was a HUGE wake up call for me.
I would love to meet you great people from the forum, I hope I can one day.
Hi tzt,
nice meeting you....I am not OFF the pills yet, but still have 2 left and my next refill is at the end of the month ( how wonderful). Don't know what i will be doing later today. I took a couple this AM and now my back pain is building up and my energy is running out. thats sucks
nice meeting you....I am not OFF the pills yet, but still have 2 left and my next refill is at the end of the month ( how wonderful). Don't know what i will be doing later today. I took a couple this AM and now my back pain is building up and my energy is running out. thats sucks
Welcome, Im another San Diegan. Like you I was clean off street drugs for almost two decades and then hurt my back. I tried a bunch of non narcotic pills and it didnt help. I tired vicodin and it did help.
Like you, I figured that the vicodin was nothing compared to the "good" drugs I was free from. I mean compare heroin to vicodin and its like comparing whisky to kool aid.
So to become addicted to it was something I couldnt get with for awhile. But its true. I abuse the heck out of them, always run out of them early, always take more than prescribed.
Im on day four off them right now.
I have told a couple of family members about it but not everyone. They dont seem to be very concerned and its probably cuz I dont tell them the extent of my abuse.
It happens. Addiction creeps up on us, lying in wait. It never goes away but we can live our lives without active addiction, as you know from your experience.
tzt
Like you, I figured that the vicodin was nothing compared to the "good" drugs I was free from. I mean compare heroin to vicodin and its like comparing whisky to kool aid.
So to become addicted to it was something I couldnt get with for awhile. But its true. I abuse the heck out of them, always run out of them early, always take more than prescribed.
Im on day four off them right now.
I have told a couple of family members about it but not everyone. They dont seem to be very concerned and its probably cuz I dont tell them the extent of my abuse.
It happens. Addiction creeps up on us, lying in wait. It never goes away but we can live our lives without active addiction, as you know from your experience.
tzt
I'm in Southern Cali, San Diego are.
by the way, is your family aware of your problem? For me, it seems way too difficult to tell my wife because of my previous addictions that she is aware of.
by the way, is your family aware of your problem? For me, it seems way too difficult to tell my wife because of my previous addictions that she is aware of.
I have thought about meeting but it seems like everyone is on the east coast. One of the gals here, emily, offered to use her cabin and have everyone meet next year (Cape Cod I think?). I would do it in a heartbeat. Actually I have met one person who emailed me (she reads the forum but doesn't post) and she turned out to be a really wonderful person. We email daily and I have found a really great friend.
I can't take ibuoprofin or asprin either. The things that origionally worked for me were percocet, norco and vicodin. The bad thing is everything stops working after awhile. That and I am an addict and take them for the wrong reasons.
In my younger days I tried pot, crack and cocaine. Never had a problem walking away from them. But my pill addiction - that is another story. I'm a recovering alcoholic and even giving up drinking waws a walk in the park compared to this. This addiction has just been so d*mn strong.
That's weird that you say that about your foot, I was just talking to my husband about mine. My son jumped on my foot about 6 months ago when it was sideways on the floor (I was laying on my side with my foot out). To this day it still hurts to put pressure on it. He thinks I am crazy.
I can't take ibuoprofin or asprin either. The things that origionally worked for me were percocet, norco and vicodin. The bad thing is everything stops working after awhile. That and I am an addict and take them for the wrong reasons.
In my younger days I tried pot, crack and cocaine. Never had a problem walking away from them. But my pill addiction - that is another story. I'm a recovering alcoholic and even giving up drinking waws a walk in the park compared to this. This addiction has just been so d*mn strong.
That's weird that you say that about your foot, I was just talking to my husband about mine. My son jumped on my foot about 6 months ago when it was sideways on the floor (I was laying on my side with my foot out). To this day it still hurts to put pressure on it. He thinks I am crazy.
Hi Calijen,
thanks for getting back to me.
We tried all sorts of non narcotic pain meds. the problem is that i can't tolerate Ibuprofen ( ulcer ) or Aspirin. currently i am on prescription prilosec on a daily basis. My doctor told me that he fears that i get addicted to vicodin, however, it seems to be a stong pain killer and mild on the stomach.
As i mentioned earlier, i was able to get over much stronger recreational drugs after being on them for years. I believe that it's all about the right moment - One day we are weak and can't do it and the other we feel strong and that is the opportunity to quit. Unfortunately, my strong days are not comming around.
I have been reading this forum for a while now but today is the first day i posted.
Did you guys ever think about meeting? that helped me years ago to get over other addictions.
As far as my back pain, i'm waitng to get a bone scan because the docs are not able to find out what's wrong. I also had a foot injury years ago and until today, i can't apply a lot of pressure on one foot and i tend to put all the pressure on the other side.
DimBoy
thanks for getting back to me.
We tried all sorts of non narcotic pain meds. the problem is that i can't tolerate Ibuprofen ( ulcer ) or Aspirin. currently i am on prescription prilosec on a daily basis. My doctor told me that he fears that i get addicted to vicodin, however, it seems to be a stong pain killer and mild on the stomach.
As i mentioned earlier, i was able to get over much stronger recreational drugs after being on them for years. I believe that it's all about the right moment - One day we are weak and can't do it and the other we feel strong and that is the opportunity to quit. Unfortunately, my strong days are not comming around.
I have been reading this forum for a while now but today is the first day i posted.
Did you guys ever think about meeting? that helped me years ago to get over other addictions.
As far as my back pain, i'm waitng to get a bone scan because the docs are not able to find out what's wrong. I also had a foot injury years ago and until today, i can't apply a lot of pressure on one foot and i tend to put all the pressure on the other side.
DimBoy
Hi Dim.
Like you I have horrible back pain and have been on Vicodin for years for it. I was prescribed 180/month but besides that also bought TONS from the street. I kept telling myself it was okay beause I had legitimate pain, even though I was fully abusing them. The weird thing is my back feels better now than it did ON the drugs. When I first stopped my pain was horrible - not just in my back but everywhere. But once my body started to heal things got better. A lot better. I had days where I could barely walk when I was taking the pills and now I am finding my own pain receptors are kicking in and doing more work than the pills did. I always thought I couldn't quit because of the pain, but the pain is actually better. Of course it is my addiction that kept me from quitting for so long.
Anyway, I did do something to my back the other day and the pain is worse but I'm dealing with it. the pain is in my hip/butt and down my leg and they say it is a siatic (spelling?) nerve thing. But it is still even more manageable than it was before. I am looking into getting a cortisone shot to help, and on Thursday the doctor prescribed some Lioderm patches that help.
So it can be done. And once you are over that hump you may just surprise yourself with how good you feel. And if you still have a lot of pain there are a lot of other non-narcotic options you can explore. That's what I'm doing now.
Like you I have horrible back pain and have been on Vicodin for years for it. I was prescribed 180/month but besides that also bought TONS from the street. I kept telling myself it was okay beause I had legitimate pain, even though I was fully abusing them. The weird thing is my back feels better now than it did ON the drugs. When I first stopped my pain was horrible - not just in my back but everywhere. But once my body started to heal things got better. A lot better. I had days where I could barely walk when I was taking the pills and now I am finding my own pain receptors are kicking in and doing more work than the pills did. I always thought I couldn't quit because of the pain, but the pain is actually better. Of course it is my addiction that kept me from quitting for so long.
Anyway, I did do something to my back the other day and the pain is worse but I'm dealing with it. the pain is in my hip/butt and down my leg and they say it is a siatic (spelling?) nerve thing. But it is still even more manageable than it was before. I am looking into getting a cortisone shot to help, and on Thursday the doctor prescribed some Lioderm patches that help.
So it can be done. And once you are over that hump you may just surprise yourself with how good you feel. And if you still have a lot of pain there are a lot of other non-narcotic options you can explore. That's what I'm doing now.
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