Attitude and Outlook

[Punkinhead75]

I read something on here that got me thinking about my disease and how it affects my perspective on things and life in general.  My disease is so subtle and powerful, at times I don't even realize that it is growing inside me.  I don't realize just how much I actually feed it and yet I wonder why I'm not getting any better.

A little story as to how my attitude and outlook started to change:

While I was still active in my addiction I was in accident that really screwed up my lower back.  All my life I had been very physical at work and at play.  The accident put quite a damper on how I had learned to live.  I enjoyed working hard.  I got a tremendous release from physical activity that was now gone.  I was in pain on a regular basis.  Walking hurt.  Standing hurt.  I couldn't do either one long enough to enjoy fishing or going for a ride.  I pretty much laid around feeling sorry for myself  and drinking.

Once I started to get cleaned up I got more involved with getting healed.  Now that I was done with the workers comp dr's I could persue my own treatment.  Regular visits to the chiro along with daily exercise.  Over the next five yrs with some minor setbacks my back has healed and my spine has become more stable.  I am better able to work, fish, garden and do yardwork than I had been in a long time.  I am not able to do these things in the same capacity that I once could, however today I am grateful just to be able to do them.

For me it took losing the things that were important to me to be able to truly appreciate them.  I have learned to not take the little things for granted.  Oftens times I am grateful just to be alive and have the chance to actually live.  With daily practice a positive and grateful attitude is now much easier to sustain.  I do have to make an effort.  It hasn't just happened.  

Happiness and serenity have been long term goals.  These are two things that the folks in mtgs told me I could have if I stuck around long enough and followed suggestions.  Everyday I need to look at myself and ask "What stands in the way of me being happy and at peace with the way things are today?"  I look at what I can control and what I can't.  Often times I am shown something inside myself that needs to change.  Once I see it I need to be willing to change.  That change for me is called growth.  Growth is what my recovery is all about.

Today I am able to be grateful to have the disease of alcoholism.  Without it I would not have been shown a better way to live.  A way of living where we can be happy joyous and free.

Be grateful not hateful.  Today is a Good day.  Learn to see it that way.

God Bless!!!

[t_nuh_had_nuf]

Oh Punkin, that was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time. Thank you

I especially related to thjs today-

"With daily practice a positive and grateful attitude is now much easier to sustain.  I do have to make an effort.  It hasn't just happened. "  

"Practice makes perfect"  Thanks again - TEENA

[cleaninitup]

Thank you for the beautifull posting :) H