Calzy

[lonote]

Isn't that hard c/t off of methadone? I have heard its the hardest, but I've heard it a few times out here.
Are you getting extra support out here? Hey man, I didn't mean to be harsh with the advice. My thinking was wrong. I was thinking you didn't let your son recieve pain meds, because you didn't want to introduce him to the shyt and being in recovery yourself... Hows the boy doing now?
I am here to talk to should you ever like to talk.    Cathy

[Calzy]

Cathy~ Thanks again for sharing with me and we are the same age (class of 53) and same school of learning. I thought about the Sub but the Dr or office i talked to about it were all cookie cutter about it, saying i would need to stay on it long term. I stayed on the M'done longer than i needed but glad it didnt turn into yrs. I am finding that dr's do not know much about addiction. They learn what meds to give for what illness you have without really knowing much about the med. I know my family dr would give me just about anything i asked, he gave me 100 xanax 2mg per month to take 3x a day---- thats way to much. I think it's the same with dr's now giving Methadone for pain because it is very cheap and people are saying they can't afford the other drugs. Even the deal with my 12 yr old son being offered morphine at the hospital and than a script for lortab. He did not say he was in pain but did say he was scared, but when they kept pushing the pain meds in front of him and telling him how much better he would feel, he did start hurting then but it was time to put him under to adjust the break in his arm. It just bothers me that they dont first talk it over with the parents and find out if there is any drug history or concerns. Sure it will make my son feel great taking morphine and than lortabs, but what if the next week at school some kid offers my son some pain killers to buy and says how great he will feel. Some kids would turn it down, but just having taking them and knowing how they feel, it might make my son say ok to them, am i just thinking this wrong or how do kids get started on drugs! Sorry to rant but i hate this addiction so much.

[lonote]

Thankyou for giving me the oppertunity to get to know you sharing with me. Sometimes for people like us its two steps forward, three back till we get it right. Sometimes it takes a long time to get it right. We're all im this pile of shyt we've created for ourselves together. We're all of the same generation. WE're running 35-55 Few older few younger. God Bless the youngblood that can get it right and their whole lives to enjoy. Then there are ppl. like me "School of hard knocks"
Graduated "Street Smart 101".  We will get a grip on this thing. I'm on Suboxone so I'll be having
one more hurdle. Its going to be a bi---, but I swear  when the time comes I won't obcess over it. I'll just get  er done with minimal whining. lol. Its nice You re X wife gives her support. And your kids love is unconditional. Thats the  way it ought to be.  It is a pleasure to talk with you. Don't be a stranger.             Cathy

[Calzy]

I take no offense to what you say, we all know we are dealing with the demons of addiction and the demons are to be treated one way and the person another, i see that get mixed up here and people take it wrong all the time. My son is doing great and went back to school today and will have a cast on his arm for about 6 weeks. My ex-wife who is a recovering alcoholic (about 25 yrs sober) and i'm working recovery now would not make our children suffer because of our addictions. Our son was not in that much pain or believe me he would like you know, so we didnt see that morphine was needed when the dr offered it. It is just the hospital routine to offer comfort meds. Yes methadone is hard to get off, but for me is was life and death getting off hydro's, using them for over 13 yrs and you body pretty much is run by them. Six moths ago i got cut off and ran out of money and options so i had to c/t off from a 20 to 60 a day lotab 10/500 addiction and it took me 2 months to even feel like a person again. I had no meds the first 1 1/2 wks off the pills and i was up a wall, and was then introduced to methadone at a clinic and stayed on for 6 mos, getting up to 200 mg before a c/t from 115mg. I just was so tired on it i could not move and running out of cash so i had to stop.  I  was feeling so bad already that the w/d's did not add that much more. I have lived alot of w/d's in my 38 yrs of addiction so pain is nothing new, it's more the mental part that i fail in, i get clean and bam, something happens and i'm using again. Even though my ex left me because of the drugs, she still supports me some now. I did work hard so my ex could be home with the kids and not work and i did come home every night to help with the kids until the pills worn be out. My four kids all know of my addiction and their love does not waver. Lost a great job, no real money coming in, spent all the pension, car on last legs but i am looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. I am working on my health to come back, use to weight about 230 lbs and got down in the 140 's before i quit. It is nice to eat whatever i want except i can not afford it now, oh well, never can win. I do read all the posts here and sometimes just like to share but i always feel i am saying the wrong things, i do like to just encourge people not to give up. Thanks again Cathy for your thoughts as it does come at a time of struggle for me and i hope you can find your end of the rainbow too.