day 2 and need help!

[wishing_well]

Its now been 48 hours since I last took about 5 7.5 vics. Last night was complete hell! Didn't sleep at all. So irritated today (and i have my kids) feel achy and sick. and still my fiance is fine and I found out he just got 20 more (80s)o.c.'s! UHH  I started thinking mabye I can just have a little, or maybe use that to taper off. any suggestions??? My goal is forever but more realistic New Years Eve. I want to know how i will feel without anything in my system, running my life for that long ( i was told 15 days is about when you should feel normal)??. Then maybe I can have 1 or 2 on occasion. but is that really possible? I want it to be. Then on the other hand I never want to come down this path EVER again! HELP!

[Victor322]

You certainly will find yourself thinking that' just one pill' won't hurt and other similar type bargaining in an effort to make yourself feel better during this very difficult detox period. All i can say is that my brother was addicted to Oxy's, went thru rehab 3 times, then still died from an overdose (combined with another physical ailment). Soo.. Just Say No when the temptation to pop a quickie to kill the wd discomfort!
Always remember that these thoughts to pop another will be common during this process, but just dont act on it.

Best of Luck!

[Savas]

You should start feeling better in about a day or two. Otherwise, if you take anything, it will set you back to square one in terms of your body reacting. In other words, you'll be looking at 4 days of withdrawal again.

Just try to distract yourself and you should start feeling a little more human in 24-48 hours!

[Jennip]

I don't know if this stuff works because I persoally have never used it, but I have heard from others that it is a good thing for w/d.  But do the research because everyone is different.  I know they have made it illegal in like 4 states and scheduled it as a class one narcotic, so if you go to the site, make sure you are not in one of those states.  I copied and pasted this post from another member of the board so you can read the info for yourself.  

FROM ANOTHER MEMBER ON THE BOARD ABOUT KRATOM...
I was introduced to Kratom about 2 years ago at a point when I was tired of asking my family doctor for refills of percocet after 30 would only last 2 weeks.  I started supplementing Kratom for one or two of the percocets and saving the percocets for when the pain was really bad.  Well after I was sent to Pain Mgmt and started getting "enough" pills I quit using the Kratom.  However, at one point I successfully got off of the pain meds with Kratom with hardly any withdrawels, of course I was taking a much lower dosage of the meds at the time.  I found that Kratom was no where near as addictive at least in my case.  I could take 4 doses one day, none the next, and one the next, etc with no cravings.  My biggest concern is that there is very little research on it longterm effects and because of that I am discontinuing its use as soon as I get off of the opiates.  
It feels like a mild opiate when made into tea.  You get the leaves or the extract and make tea out of it.  I found that it would last anywhere from one to three hours.  However, I found that when a much smaller amount than needed for the tea was injested that I got a much greater effect.  Sometimes rivaling that of a percocet ten.  You have to be careful I have heard because there is alot of fake Kratom.  I never recieved any that I didn't believe to be real.  I bought every batch that I had over the interned at a place called iamshaman dot com.  They were really nice and helpful when I emailed questions about the possibility of Kratom helping my stenosis.  I have to say that if I knew it was safe, it would be my replacement to opiates.  I honestly don't think that it is addictive at all but  I can't say that for all that it wouldn't be.  You are put into a somewhat mild sedative state.  You become talkative, and focused.  Almost all of the same feelings of opiates.  I do know that it has been put on a watch list by the govt and probably will become illegal at some point.  You cannot overdose on it as I have read and again it doesn't come with that well if one dose is good two must be great mentality.  Anyway, I hope that I have been helpful and Thanks for the encouraging words.

[wishing_well]

wait day 3 and 4 are worse???? ohhhh i wasnt aware. does tapering really help? DOES ANYONE know? is it safer?

[Jennip]

Well hun, it is totally up to you how you do it.  I mean, you are already almost on day three so I don't think you are in any danger of a siezure or anything, but again, I'm not a doctor.  If you were only taking 30-40 mils a day of oxy's, I don't think that is a big concern anyway, but yeah, I'm not going to lie, you are going to feel like you were hit by a train for another couple days, but after that, it is so much better.  I hate to see you have to start this all over again.  Tapering is not a cure not to feel any withdrawl, it only makes it a little more mild then going cold turkey.  Like I said, it sounds like you are starting to make deals with yourself which is normal.  I would not suggest you do it, but it is up to you on how you wish to do this.  I am sure your boyfriend is very supportive but he really does not know what you are going thru right now and I'm sure if he did, he would not want you to have to do this all over again.

[wishing_well]

everything you say is exactly how I feel, that is just so crazy how powerful these damn little things are! so I just talked to my fiance about it and he is concerned for and has always been supportive and helpful. He said he has been reading alot about it and is scared for me to just quit c/t. But havent i already done that (on 50+) hours or Noway? and if i did taper off it would be to get my body used to less. I do want the least amount of pain through this quitting. But no matter what or how I AM DOING IT NOW!

[Jennip]

I would say that tapering with 80's would not be a good idea.  I'm not suggesting you do this because it is not pleasant but it worked for me just to go cold turkey.  Well, actually that was my only choice because everytime I tried to taper myself, I ended up just eating the entire handful of pills anyway, I have no self control, most of us don't.  As far as wondering if you will ever fel like life is worth it again, I PROMISE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART THAT YES, you will feel happy and excited again about things you haven;t felt that way about in years.  It may take a few months, or at least it did in my case, but I did and I do.  I remember I would look at everybody else and be soooo jealous that they were so normal and just walking around dealing with life situations and all I could do was take pills and be a zombie.  You know the only time you feel happy on pills anyway is the first 10 minutes, then you feel sick and angry, oh I used to get so angry.  I thought that was going to be how I felt for the rest of my life.  I didn't care if I lived or died.  But around month two, I started waking up in the morning and I felt kind of happy.  Then literally as each day passed, I felt better and better.  People love to be around me again.  I remembered that I am pretty freaking funny and how muh I can make people laugh.  My Mom is actually excited for me to come visit for vacation.  I think it's a hoot I even have money to go on a vacation, lol...I went and bought photo albums and a purse today and had the best time doing it.  So yes, it will happen, but you have to put int he effort.  You are on day two so you are really hurting now.  Just keep telling yourself one more day, then do the same the next day.  Before you know it, you will be doing and enjoying things you haven't in years.  It is sooooo worth it!  In the meantime, email me if you need to.  I feel your pain but you are doing so good.  The first few days are the worst, if you can get past those, you hav wonhalf the battle.

[wishing_well]

so thats a NO, for tapering off with the ocs we have? when will these cravings and mind fixations go away? it doesnt help that i could just go get one anytime i want, i guess! UHHH!!!

[wishing_well]

Thank you both so much!.  we take 30-40 of that 80 usually. Yes they are in the house and he was trying to hide it from me, but i know him better than that. I havent mentioned it and he hasnt either. He is trying to help me, but at the same time he doesnt think he needs to stop. I'm really wondering if he does and is more effected than it seems. Did you feel like life is so pointless and just not even worth much? I cant imagine enjoying anything, does that go away? I feel like that is NEVER possible for me anymore. your advice is so helpful, thank you so much!

[Jennip]

and, as far as having one or two on occasion, no, I don't think that is possible.  Once you get that taste in your mouth for it again, it will only go downhill.  Well, at least that is my situation.  I don't even take asprin because it is a pill, and I was addicted to te ritual of pills as well, so I don't chance any kind of reminder if I can help it.  Bt I know where you are at, by day two you start trying to make deals with yourself.  "If I can do this now and get my body clean and recovered, I can go back to using once in a while or just onweekends like I used to."  But this is a progressive disease, it only gets worse with time, no matter who you are.  That I CAN guarantee you.  Bu if you stick with it long enough, you won't have the need to do it once in a while anyways, you will be happy with a regular life.

[Jennip]

Well for me it took months to feel 100% normal again, but the intial irriated, jittery, like you are tripping on some bad acid feeling should be pretty much gone in 15 days.  Then it is all just a mental mind f*@k after that for a while.But it gets easier and easier as time passes.  I am at 5 months now and I could never imagine living that way again.  You don't realize how misrable it is until you are far away from  it.  But life is beautiful again and before you know it, you will be looking forward to doing things with the kids and the family and you will love just being normal again.  Everything will be exciting again.

As far as the finace having 80's, wow, that is really tough.  Does he take them for medical reasons or do they really not need to be in the house?  WHatever the reason is, maybe you should ask him not to have them in the house, or perhaps he should not even be telling you he has them.  The best thing would be for you to stay away from him all together while you are going thru the intial w/d, but I am assuming that us not a possibility right now.  You are just going to have to tell them to take them to another location, that us the only thing I can think of.  Not trying to scare you bt day 3 is worse thanday1 & 2, so you should get that situated before tomorrow, or even tonight.  Good luck, you are doing good and if you feel tempted, surf the net or take a bath or something.  Just try and keep you mind off it.  It sounds like it might just come down to will power.