Hello

[shelby74]

Hello to all my dear friends here and to the people I have not spoken with yet.  There are so many new members, it makes me sad but it also does my heart good to see people trying to get their lives straightened out.  

I have missed you guys so much.  I think about you everyday and you know who you are.  I have not checked my email or the board in quite some time.  I guess when you fail, there is so much shame that goes along with that.  I am still struggling to get and stay clean.  I would hate to give out any advice because I have no idea how to beat this, let alone advise someone else.  I wanted to check in and see how everyone was doing.

I would love to hear from you all!

luv,

shel

[liscamdave]

SHELBY.....OMG...honey, what are you doing here and not lookig for me??????????? Do I need yell...lol...

Honey, I miss you and love you so much. I hope that you and I both find a way to get through this.

I love you...

xoxo, Lisa

[wait2long]

i know we have never spoken...but i am sad when i hear of someone suffering with this disease.  have you ever considered suboxone treatment? either short or long term?

[road2recovery]

check your inbox

[lonote]

Stop being so hard on yourself.

[shelby74]

I was so shocked by your guys response (even though I know I should not be)!  Thank you so much to all of you!  It was stupid to be ashamed, I know it was.  I have found nothing but support from so many of you.  I am at my worse when I do not post, I know that.  I have let myself go, the one thing that kept me sane most of the time was all of you.  I promise to post regularly and to check my email.  

Ionote I will respond to yours today, I am so sorry I was not there for you hun.  I have beating myself down and being a chicken, afraid to check my email.  I hate to fail and this thing has such a tight hold on me.  

Thank you to all the new members who posted to me, I really appreciate it and I look forward to getting to know you all.

IBKleen I am so glad to finally get to chat with you.  I always read your posts.  I feel like I know you, and yet you are right we have never touched base.  Thank you for your encouraging words.  It means a lot to me.

road and invin it is great to see you guys!  I have missed you guys so much.  The holidays are really kicking my butt.  That is not an excuse to use I know that!  I hate the holidays anymore.  Ugh, I sound like a major downer.

hugs and thank you again!

shel

[invincible]

Shelby, I have not even looked at the forum in a couple of months and nice to see your post.. So sorry you are having a tough time, I also have the problem of 'totally' quitting.  My use is down from what it was but still can't quit completely, I think I know what you are going through..  Didn't see a post from good ole Tim for the first 4 pages, have you heard from him lately..  I discovered that my significant other was posting here too and blew it for me posting, I think that I will re-appear as a new person as I think I need the help and support from this group after all..

((Hugs))..invince

[lonote]

How nice to see you hon. I haven't forgotton you. I've sent you and Tim a couple emails, but I already knew what was going on. I can"t  force my self. I have no power over what going down if  so I would snap my fingers, and you ;d be well. I sure do miss you cause you are so uplifting to me. You always say the right thing when I need to hear it. How I've missed you. I'm so sorry you are struggling. But It sounds like its getting better. Nice of you to come out and share. I had no idea you were eating them like they were ppeevs candy container. However before suboxone I ate them like that too. I kept needing more and more. Its soooooooooo good to see you touching base. I just got off work or we would haVE spoken earlier.  Hope was here the other day, praying her dad lass thru Christmas. Girl email me when you are feeling low..I need to hear from you more often My pizza has arrived. more later love ya bunches. Cathy

[littldeb]

I too am glad to see you post, I lurked here for a long time before posting and your posts were always so encouraging.  Just know dear that you are not alone, my hubby has stumbled as well and them hydros had him again.  This is day 3 c/t and as you know pure hell......  he is beating himself up too.  Just hang in there......we are all only human and these pills have no mercy.  You will get there, I just know you will.
Your in my prayers,
hugs,
deb

[road2recovery]

it is so good to see you post...I know without a doubt that you will get there....You many just need a different approach..look you are doing better in the last 8 months since being here then the past..SO that is definetly a improvement...
This a very tough battle, so don't ever think you are a failure...
hugs
r2r

[Greatgreebo]

There's no such thing as a failure who keeps on trying.....

Greebs

[IBKleen]

Funny thing Shel----

I have known you since I have been coming here but we never touched base.

There is no such thing as failure in my book,  I don't believe that for a moment. You may have stumbled, but not failed.

I hope you are not feeling ashamed--hate to repeat myself, but there is no shame.

Come on back out and talk about it. Maybe you will hear something that will help. Maybe you will help someone else. There is no such thing as bad advise when you are sincere--and I think you are.

I would like to see you around more often. The holidays are here and so many of us are struggling--it is a hard time for me right now.

Good to see you lady. Take care.

[youngdude421]

Hi Shelby Im new to this forum as well... I feel your pain with the pills I hate being a slave to something the size of my fingernail. Happy pills are my thing klonopin xannax etc. but i love painkillers too i took 6 percocet 2day(not proud of it). I'm not even shure how I feel  about getting clean I guess Im kinda confused but so far this sight seems great it gives me a place to spill my guts and and things off my chest I can't talk to my family/friends about. Just figured I'd introduce myself and say hello

[gizzy32]

unfortunately i have been addicted to cocaine for the past 5 years, but i have been clean 36 days now, the longest since i started and finally im feeling normal this past week or so, lol, i started to go to NA meetings because i knew i needed help and then this forum is great too. one addict helping another is great therapy. im not to sure about pills though never really took them, actually until i got on this forum, i never realised so many people become addicted to pills.  at least you have taken the right step again and are back on here for help. life is so much better without pills and drugs that numb us.
nobody judges on this forum because we have all been there and thats what is so great about this site.  you should at least see if you can find NA meetings. it was the only thing that has worked for me

[shelby74]

Welcome to the forum!  I am using 10 mg hydro's.  At my worst I was up to 15-20 a day.  I am now down to four, probably more if I could get my hands on them.  I have tried everything except meetings or inpatient treatment.  What are you using?  What have you tried to stop using?  I have been coming here for probably 8 months or so.  There are so many wonderful people here.  I can say one thing, since being here I have been clean more in the last 8 months then the 11 years I have been abusing drugs.  I keep going back to it though.  It is so frustrating.  I wish you all the best too!

[gizzy32]

hi, im new on this forum, but it has helped me so far reading some of these posts. i relapsed so many times and i know how you feel.  the guilt and sickness that follows is almost too much, yet sometimes we continue to use and that is the disease of addiction. don't give up. what are you using?  do you go to NA meetings?  best of luck to you, you will beat this. take care