If you If you could have cosmetic surgery would you and what would it be ?

[avisg]

OK this is for both guys and girls if you could have plastic surgery 100 % payed for would you and what would you do .

I would so do it ..
1.nose job
2.stretch marks removed
3.tummy tuck just to get rid stretched skin from having kids
and what the heck a little bot ox for good measure

[Beccabeccalynn]

Hahaha this thread just keeps getting better and better

[dominosarah]

Only you bob!!!  LMAO

[vicki595]

Bob !!!     LMAO...

[jstntime]

I once had a girlfriend that was too embarrassed to go and buy herself a toy despite always wanting one badly.  So I decided to get her one for Christmas along with a few other gifts.  When I went into the store and started looking at the million different types and sizes, I ran into a "mom" from a classmate of my sons.  She was quite embarrassed to see me there but I thought it was quite funny.  I am sure she was wondering what in the heII I was doing looking at all of those "things" ha ha  Everytime I saw her again while picking up my son from school, I always had a big smile for her as I thought of that story.  

Anyway back to the girfriend.  I figured.....Just like the joke....if she didn't like her other gifts, she could just go and ...........well.......never mind.

[dominosarah]

Makes mine ache a bit just thinking about it!!

[Beccabeccalynn]

Holy cow that's funny nipple clamps. Hahaha

[avisg]

They have these machine that stretch you member out you have to wear it so many hours a day .They were one of my biggest sellers.

I do have a funny tale my girl friend and I were at lunch one day her oldest and mine were like twelve .You know I was looking at my GF girls belt and it seem to look off it did not do all the way around her it clipped on both sides  ....UMMMMMM it turned out to being my girlfriends nipple clamps .She to this day has no idea how she got hold of them .We about died when we noticed then she had to get her daughter to take it off and of course she thought they were GREAT !!!!! always keep your toys locked up before they become jewelry.

[vicki595]

ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING  ...

[narla]

LMAO-I just want to get the picture out of my head,aaaahhhh

[dominosarah]

Some things are better left not knowing.....this is one of them!!!  LOL

[Mangee]

Hey Giz, you must wear thongs. That's probably why it is able to try and sneak out. A woman whom was a friend of my wife had a cramp in her leg while I and my wife were visiting. Very nonchalantly she pulled out this vibrator and began rubbing her leg with it. When I burst out laughing she told me that I wasn't very caring and that I shouldn't laugh at her pain. My wife then began a long and delicate explanation as to the real use of the vibrator. The woman turned completely red and explained that a friend had given it to her a few years ago and told her it would relieve stress without explaining how it would do that. When the woman finally regained her composure she said she wished she had known and now she was too old to get a proper use out of it. When next we visited her she said she had tossed it into the garbage.  Question...Should we believe her ?

[PromisedLand]

Oh my God I can't stop laughing...yes, you should right a book, badshadow!


Jim

[narla]

I think we're all a bit perverted,oh well at least we have some fun.

[Beccabeccalynn]

I don't know if your perverted but I do know that I think stories like these are so funny. Not sure if that makes me perverted or a comedy conisuor(sp)

[dominosarah]

Well we all know i am twisted and this just cracked me up!!!  Welcome to the pervert club!!!

[badshadow]

Oh, another thing, I dated this guy from a few years, and one day I'm cleaning out the closet and I find this weird Mechanical Hand, and the Middle Finger moved around in Circles when you turned it on.  I was young and had no clue what this was for, so I showed it to my boyfriend and asked him what it was.

Well after his last Girlfriend left him, he went out and bought one of those Blow-Up Dolls.  Oh man, I'm lauging so hard right now.  Anyway he get this Doll and Blows it up and proceeds to his "Business" with it.  He puts his "you know what" in it's mouth and that's all good, then he put's it in her 'you know what" and that's all good.   Well then he turns it over to put in the things A**, and it blows up into Shreds.  LOL

The "Hand" was an added "Gift" to go along with the Doll.  I used to tease him so bad about that Doll and pretend I was going to tell the story and parties and stuff, and would get all worked up, but I never did.  This is the first time I've ever told this story.

I just think it's so hilarious.  Do you think I'm perverted?

My friends tell me I should write a book.

[badshadow]

Yeah, I have pain in mine too.

The other thread is funnier though.  I had a friend of mine ask me to buy her a "Vibrator,"  she's older and I figured she was too embarassed to go into an Adult Store to get one.  Not like I was crazy to go there and buy one for her.

Well, she's Jewish, and her husband was Black.  They were divorced so I figured she needed a little something, ya know what I mean.  So I take my Husband with me for courage and I go into this seedy little store here where I live and I'm looking at all this stuff going, "Oh My Gosh," I never knew.

I didn't know what to get her, but since her husband had been Black, I got this big long black one, and mailed it to her.  A few days later I get this phone call and she's all freaking out over the phone, "What did you get me this for, yada, yada, yada." I said "Well you told me to get you one, and you didn't put any specifications on it." LOL  I bet she loved it.

[PromisedLand]

Badshadow..my wife had lipo after breast reconstruction surgery and implant installation (?) after having breast cancer...she is STILL in pain from it and it was over 2 years ago "you shouldn't be in pain" the surgeon says.  She still has pain from the impants in a couple areas (near the lipo) and is considering having them out.  

JIm

[dominosarah]

One of the girls i work with also works at the school and was telling me about one of the kindergarten girls.  She was on the bus one morning and was showing the kids what she brought for show and tell.  Well her "toy" dropped and rolled to the front of the bus where the bus driver picked it up....He took it into the school and gave it to the girls in the office.  Can you imagine the look on that parents face coming to school to retrieve her "toy"!!!  LOL

[this_big]

Me and a couple buddies were helping a friend move and found one. He tried to convince us it was a water bong.He put it up to his mouth and was trying to show us how it worked. The best man in his wedding (the one who actually found it) brought it up in his toast. I never laughed so hard in my life.

[coffeegirl125]

This is a very entertaining thread!!! A fish pump-how funny!!!

[dominosarah]

Wonder how the fish like it!!!  LMAO

[Beccabeccalynn]

I had a boyfriend once who had the pump thing not like he needed it but we were young and got it at the ADULT store we played with it a bit but it just made his man parts look like it was going to pop. So we stashed it away and forgot about it. Then one day I sent a box of crap to my grannies yard sale and she found it and called us over to ask what it was and how much she should tag it for. I peed myself laughing and told her it was a vacume for a fish tank. I said I didn't think she should sell it and that it wasn't worth anything. One mans trash is anouther mans treasure she said and demanded to put it out with a $2 tag on it. That pump sat there for all three days people holding it and looking at it asking questions. When I came back to help clean up it was gone. Grandma had sold the penis pump at the sale and I got my two bucks and a story that I haven't thought of in years
becca

[avisg]

ohhh yes I know all about this stuff i sell adult novelties they also have ones that streah themmmmm