Still Clean

[Greatgreebo]

Greetings to all my friends here! Sorry I dropped out for 10 days...the flooding here in SW Washington did a number on phone/internet service at my house. Not to mention all the rivers flooding and the landslides and the trees in the roads......Yikes! As a biologist I was scrambling to get my equipment out of some watersheds before it washed away!! So I was really busy and I wasn't about to go into my office and get on the 'Addiction Forum' to let everyone know what was going on
:-)......I'm sure you all understand.
Anyway, went CT a while back and had a slip up and now am on day 4 or 5 of CT. I can't really remember which day it is....-All I know is that I crossed some mental barrier during my little bout of using and I said 'no more'. And I knew in my heart of hearts that I really meant it this time.I found myself being mean to My Honey (the lovely mood swings of drug addiction) and I stayed up really late, sitting in the dark, doing some soul searching. I realized I was done with drugs, period. I remember I made a 'mental note' of how horrible I felt when I said those aweful things to My Honey and how hurt he looked and that is my source of strength. I have to say, since I have truly made my mind up to quit I haven't had really bad cravings. I am getting the occasional one, but nothing to bad yet. If the thought of taking a pill pops into my head, I think of my 'mental note' and the thought goes away very quickly. Now that I'm back I have found out about Newhope61's horrible car wreck and that is really tearing me up that I almost lost her and wasn't around when she needed me most (considering we were CT'ing together) so that is another source of strength...gotta be strong for Newhope.
I'm sure in the next few weeks the addiction part of my brain will rear its ugly head and I will have to do some mental battling but for now---It's all good
Just wanted to thank everyone here (you know who you are) for all your help and support. I'm living proof that you can get clean if you really want to.
Ciao
Greatgreebo

[Greatgreebo]

Amen sister. I can stomach a lot of things but nuking my loved ones into the stone-age because of my drug addiction isn't one of them.
I haven't shared my little problem with anyone but My Honey. Like you though, I suspect that other people suspect but don't know how to bring it up.
Only time will tell if I can undue all the damaged I've done!
Stay strong,
Great

[road2recovery]

That is such great news...i know for me, i just said this is enough...I was tired of the lies, and the person i had become ...like you so moody when i was out and took it out on the ones that loved me most....I just knew that was it for me, i hated who i had become..
i didn't even want to go around family anymore and came up with every excuse....And i am a family person...Even though they have never asked if i was on drugs, i beleive they suspected something...
i wish you the best, it is a tough road, but it is so worth it...And for the ones we love most..
r2r