No Question, just read....

[catburgler]

I used this site some time ago to help me with an addiction to Roxicodone/Oxycodone.  I was using 16 15mg/day at one time and got woke up.  I am still trying to quit.  I now take 80 mg/day of Hydrocodone and have done so strictly for over a year now.  I feel much better and this is enough to fight my severe back pain.  I am still focused on quitting and I know I succeeded to cut back on a fairly long, 2 years, taper.  But so far so good.  Anyway I wrote this poem some time ago when I was sinking pretty bad and I thought someone might relate or it may be of some use to someone knowing they are not alone and the feelings that they have experienced are not theirs alone.

"Excitement in Boredom, Wishes Me"

Walking so fast down this dusty old road,
What was paved, dirt has taken hold.
Putting in the quarters was just time killed,
Now the ride don’t work, its become the thrill.
I know its all vain but I’m still trying to find,
Just one more chance to feel that first lie.
Always thought you could slow the line,
But time forgotten is just wasted time.

Where has excitement gone to?
I used to think that it was just fun to..
But now I can see
That you’ve been killing me,
And you would think that would awaken me!
But here I sit
with the thoughts of it,
Like the skin I’m in, its apart of me.
Numbed I just cannot admit....

That normal is the new way to fly,
And I can only cry to feel the high.
What’s wrong with me? I just live.
Happiness is alone, with you, being still.

The likes of those who don’t know your hold
Frightens me into this cave of serenity,
With you old friend that hates on me.

Jesus pull me out of this hole that I dig!
Falling faster towards a nothing so big.....

I can look above to that rocky bottom,
I begin to burn like the city of sodem.

Grave I see in this descent to black,
Just want the content of boredom back.

[catburgler]

Thanks Sarah.  I hope people know that they are not alone in feeling so helpless.  We've all been there.

[dominosarah]

Very good poem~~