Dear U.S. Passport Department,
I am in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe what I have to go through.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address, telephone number and knows that I bought a television cable from them back in 1997, and yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date? For GOD’s sake, do you guys do this by hand?
You have my birth date by way of my Social Security card and it is on all the income tax returns I have filed for the past 30 years. It is also on my health insurance card, my driver’s license, on the last 8 damn passports I’ve had, on all of those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and all of those insufferable census forms that I’ve filled out at election times.
Would someone please take note that, once and for all, my mother’s name is Mary and my father’s name is Frank and I would be absolutely astounded if that changed between now and when I die!!!!
Between you and me, I’ve had enough of this bull****! You send the application to my house and then ask for my freakin’ address!!! Do you have a gang of Neanderthals working there?
Look at my damn photo. Do I look like Bin Laden’s sister? I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat for sh**’s sake, I just want to park my butt on a sandy beach for a few days!
And would someone please tell me why you would give a sh** whether or not I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever get the urge to do something strange to a chicken or a goat, believe you me I sure as hell would not tell anyone!!
I have to go now because I have to go to the other end of the city to get another freakin’ sealed copy of my birth certificate to the tune of $60.00. Would it be so hard to have all of these services available in the same building? No, you would rather see me running all over town collecting paperwork and finding someone to confirm it is really me in the damn picture. And oh yeah, there is a reason I am not smiling in that picture---I am totally pissed off.
Signed, An Irate Citizen