Regrets

[Mcr2001]

This is more of a statement than a question but I was lying in bed thinking today and realizing all the things I had done as an addict.  So many regrets.  I became so cold, so heartless at times and so insensitive I did alot of things I never would have done without the pills...so i guess this is a question.  This is my second try at detox and I don't remember it the first time...is a time of reflection and regret the next part of detox....damn I burned so many bridges

[thewaz]

I spend enormous amounts of time reflecting on my behaviors or lack there of.  The isolated world I put myself into.  The experiences I missed because I was too numb to see/feel them.  I want to go with what Bama says.  No regrets.  That's what I want.  Yesterday I heard, through e-mail, from a friend of 50 years. We grew up together.  She's very disappointed in me because I didn't reach out when she had surgery 10 weeks ago. I was not able to emotionally.  I just couldn't deal with her pain when I was screaming myself.  So all I could do was apologize and admit I've been an awful friend.  If she accepts, my heart will be happy.  If not, I can grieve and beat myself up or I can move on.  I have to move on.  I think what I'm learning is, now that our brains, feelings and emotions are waking up, we've all made some really bad choices while under the influence.  We can learn from those and move forward or we can live in the past.  I choose to move forward and live a life where I touch as many people as I can.

[bama88]

All my bridges are nuked. I try not to think of regrets. I look toward to New experiences.

[Free2agoodhome]

Big time part of it....I never faced a lot of emotional stuff when on pills..I numbed them out.Therefore the lessons that were supposed to be learned were never....they were just post poned. While using I kept alot of anger alive...never letting things complete in their natural way...so when I stopped using those things came up..regret, anger, sadness...lol   I had a pity part big enough to be catered..

Let the stuff come in..no false strength here.....(some stuff may hurt) ................. then let it go...as you keep doing this over and over.....you will start to heal.



Free~

[IBKleen]

We all burned bridges honey. That is the essence of addiction. Recovery begins when you can make peace with your pst, know it was your addiction---not you, and move past it. There will be plenty of time for amends once you have some time so give yourself a break and try not to reflect. Often times the remorse causes us to use out of guilt. I don't want to see that happen to you. Accept it for what it is and make positive changes going forward. Okay? Hang in there. As long as you don't use it will get better. That i a promise.

[Lilasme]

YES...I second what Dixie said....I had the same experience...hating myself, feeling so ashamed and having so many regrets. Once you get a little further along in your recovery..you'll be able to forgive yourself...be proud of who you are now.....look forward....not back. Best of luck to you : )

[Dixiechick72]

yep... BIG TIME reflections... the good the bad the happy the sad... but we take each day at a time... we learn from this... we grow...dont beat yourself up... we cant change the past ....just make your future better by being sober ok....just remember why you are doing this ok....good luck!!!!