Aa
SEX ... is really a man's Best Friend
Everyone who has ever had a dog calls him Rover or Boy.. I call my dog Sex. He is truly a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said "Yeah, I'd like one too!" Then I said, "But this is a dog". He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old". He just winked at me and said "You must have been quite a kid".
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at my wedding. He told me that I would have to wait until after the wedding. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around Sex". He said he was not interested in my personal life and he would not marry us in a church. I told him everyone at the wedding would enjoy having Sex there.
The next day, we were married by a justiceof the peace. My family had been barred from church. My wife and I took Sex along with us on our honeymoon. When I checked us in to the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a seperate room for Sex. He said, "You don't need a special room, as long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." "Funny... I seem to have the same problem."
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking so disappointed. I told him I had planed to have Sex in the contest.
"I had hoped to have sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it's not a big deal anymore."
When my wife and I seperated, we went to court to fight for the custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "This court room is not a confessional, stick to the case please." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me.. He said that's not unusual. It happens to a lot of people..
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around for him. A cop came over and asked me "What I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him I was looking for Sex. Well, now I've been thrown in jail, divorced and I have had more troubles with that damned dog then I ever gambled for.
The other day, I went for my first visit with a psychiatrist and she asked me, "What it was that was causing me problems?" I replied, "Well, Sex has died and left my life. It's like loosing your best friend and I feel so lonely." The doctor said, "Look mister, you and I both know that sex is a man's best friend... Why don't you get yourself a DOG?!"
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at my wedding. He told me that I would have to wait until after the wedding. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around Sex". He said he was not interested in my personal life and he would not marry us in a church. I told him everyone at the wedding would enjoy having Sex there.
The next day, we were married by a justiceof the peace. My family had been barred from church. My wife and I took Sex along with us on our honeymoon. When I checked us in to the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a seperate room for Sex. He said, "You don't need a special room, as long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." "Funny... I seem to have the same problem."
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking so disappointed. I told him I had planed to have Sex in the contest.
"I had hoped to have sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it's not a big deal anymore."
When my wife and I seperated, we went to court to fight for the custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "This court room is not a confessional, stick to the case please." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me.. He said that's not unusual. It happens to a lot of people..
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around for him. A cop came over and asked me "What I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him I was looking for Sex. Well, now I've been thrown in jail, divorced and I have had more troubles with that damned dog then I ever gambled for.
The other day, I went for my first visit with a psychiatrist and she asked me, "What it was that was causing me problems?" I replied, "Well, Sex has died and left my life. It's like loosing your best friend and I feel so lonely." The doctor said, "Look mister, you and I both know that sex is a man's best friend... Why don't you get yourself a DOG?!"
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Social Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
