Thanks Eagle.. i have never read these before lol all so true.. I also needed this :) hugs lesa
Hahahaha...Sooooo good and so true! Very funny stuff...this is fun and we should do it more often. We need some comic relief on here. Keep 'em coming.
ok, I'm a huge David Sedaris fan (a man who is recovering from his own addictions to pot, alcohol, and cigarettes, coincidentally). His occasionally dark, self-deprecating humor makes me cry with laughter. In his last book, he wrote a hilarious essay about a very "sober" topic: addiction. (Disclaimer: I don't mean to trivialize addiction in some of the quotes below- it's very serious, but it helps me to laugh at the "voice" of the addict within us. Seriously, the voice says some crazy sh**! And, of course, laughter is the BEST medicine. :) A few quotes (some from his other books):
“I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.”
"I was vehemently anti-drug until my freshman year of college. I would rail against my dorm-mates: Pot was for losers. It pickles your brain and forces you into crummy state universities like this one. I imagine how satisfying it must have been for them to witness my complete turn-around. The reverend mother becomes the town ****, the prohibitionist a drunkard, and me a total pothead- and so quickly!"
“Seven beers followed by two Scotches and a thimble of marijuana and it's funny how sleep comes all on it's own.”
"After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations. "
"Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?"
“I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.”
Yes - that voice does say some crazy shtuff. But I am also willing to bet that we could put together a totally honest list that would make all the others pale by comparison.