60 days/Zero Pills/Thanks.

[beach777]

Hi all,
I just realized that today was 60 days totally absolutely clean from a pretty serious long term oxy habit.....none of course prescribed for me and an unlimited free supply no less. I refused to count days after the first week b/c to me it implied a before and after and I wanted to concentrate on "after" but somehow 60 days seemed like a milestone.   I went cold turkey and from what I've read I was very lucky. My withdrawals were no fun but they were short and this PAWS I read about just hasn't developed for me. I've been very neglectful about posting. This was something I just needed to get through myself. It wasn't that I didn't care about everyone but I just needed to shut down, move into my soul and fix it. I'm writing to thank those of you that did reach out to me when I was a newbie and scared. Please keep doing that.
My main thought is that I do agree with beachtowel and sorry beachtowel but sometimes I think you're a bit tough but I respect that too. Opiate withdrawals suck but they won't kill you and unbelievable relief is only 5 days, at the most, 10 days away, then it's day by day. Maybe those days won't be the struggle you anticipate after all.
Please don't take this post as elitist or arrogant. Some of you deal with unbelievable stress and horrible situations and quite frankly I don't know how you do it. I was fortunate not to have those issues ie pain, lack of resources, bad family/home situations in general. Maybe I couldn't have done it under those circumstances. Those that beat it in spite of those things I really admire. My job as a trial lawyer is stressful but it's a good stress b/c I love what I do. I just thought I owed you guys this post b/c I know when people disappear I used to assume they relapsed. I just wanted everyone to know that I made it and to thank you. If I can, you can.....peace.

[TimH2]

Congrats and what a inspiration you are. When I have disappeared it meant relapse. I would just feel so useless and felt I had no right to counsel anyone. I probably needed that more than ever and should have stayed on the forum. I tend to downplay my pain and can be very shut off during those times. Beachtowel can be tough, but he is what I need at times. Tzt is my soft touch and I need that too. I feel blessed that we have the both of them. It gives a nice balance to the forums. I worry about the PAWS and pray that it is minimal for all. I am sure your profession gives you a lot of adrenilan rushes and I find that helps me when I have them. It does release the dopamine in your brain. I own a restaurant/bar and my rushes are frequent. Don't be a stranger :)  We need success stories and they do help us in recovery.

Tim

[beach777]

I remember you too. It does seem like a lot of people are having success. I'm so proud of you. The two month mark seemed significant to me somehow. I feel very lucky things have gone well and I do believe to a certain extent it was luck and then again, it was a decision (took me two years to make the decision....I'm a natural procrastinator. lol) I do have clarity as I've noticed in your posts. I think people do need to here when posters succeed. FLaddict gave me a lot of hope. She still does as do you.  Keep up the good work. I'll try to post more often when I'm not putting people in jail :)

[tzt2lady]

Congrats, Beach!   I am so glad you are clean and I really enjoyed reading your post.  You are so right on and I can tell you have clarity now.   Awesome!

I remember when you were getting clean.   I agree with your post.   Lots of us are getting and staying clean these days and it makes me so happy.    My 2 month mark will be on Oct 9.  

Keep it touch and thanks for coming back and letting us know living clean is soooo possible!

tzt