addiction to online gameing

[dollyn]

Can any one tell me if they have had a husband or a family member addiction to online games.That takes up so much of there time ,  The person goes to work but as soon as they get hoe it is right on line to play and chat,before work and the hole weekend.

if you have how did you handle it and did you find a way to get threw to them,because it was destroying your family because of the time and money that is spent on the game.

please help.

[Brokenbutglued]

At one time I played online games a TON. I had the time, so I thought. I thought it was a way to connect with people, since I stay home most of the time. For me it went deeper than just playing some silly game..it was about having something I didn't in my real life. Control. I could manage my character, manage "armies" or "gangs" as they are called in some games. I could manipulate, reject, explore ideas, make online friends, start fights, end fights, it goes on and on.

Anyway, I was the same as the person you mentioned, I never really thought I had an addiction though. Not until I saw something on Dr. Phil lol. I think when most people think of addiction gaming is sooooo not what they think of...even the ones with the addiction. So convincing somebody that they have an addiction that they have never heard of is going to be a hard one. Maybe doing some digging and finding the Dr. Phil episode (check their website???) and showing the person the episode would be a good option?

For me, it was hard. I had to realize that I had a problem (even at that point I didnt think I had an addiction per se). I just thought I had a problem, that I liked online games too much. I had to step back on my own and see what I was doing. I saw that my online friends were more important than my normal activities. I saw that my priorities were all mixed up...really BAD!! Slowly, I started to see just how much I let someTHING take control over me. Me being a control freak...that wasn't going to work lol.

I had to take a step back and try to look from the outside in. I asked myself, "If I were to run into a real world person would they really care that our gang just took over the number one spot in the game?". Nope. Was I somehow bettering myself or my family by spending the last 12 hours plotting a mission? Nope.

I quit for a week (which in the gaming world is just like an eternity) and then tried to go back. There was no way that was going to work. Even when I was away from the game I wasn't totally away...I'd plot things out in my mind. In order to go to the top of the game you have to play an extreme amt. of time and then you have to play an extreme ammount just to stay at the top. There was no middle ground for me. To make it worse, the people in the game were just as addicted to the game as I was. So, in my online social circle it was socially acceptable to spend huge ammounts of time there. I had to leave and not go back. I had to sit and think about WHY I was so drawn to these games. It was hard, it was almost like a grieving process that I went through if that makes any sense. To willingly and knowingly subject myself to that was hard. To this day I still can't do online games...sometimes I even have a hard time with xbox...just not as bad as online gaming. I think lack of real people has something to do with it.

What I'm trying to say is that they will have to realize they have a problem and chances are they aren't going to want to believe it. It's an addiction that is rarely mentioned especially since computers are so much a part of our everyday lives.

If I were in the wife's shoes, or even your shoes. I'd gather up some information. Bank statements showing overdraft fees, bills that had to go unpaid, internet bill showing ammount of time spent online, bills or statements showing money spent on game, etc.. Get a grand total of time and money together. In a friendly way just say hey...this is what I see from the outside looking in. Find information about gaming addictions online...send him here if ya want. I can share my feelings/thoughts with him or his wife. Find addiction specialists in your area, talk to them and ask them for advice too. Hang in there, this can be done.  :)


huh...I just realized I admitted I had an addiction. Wow. I never really thought I had one.

[dollyn]

Thank you,this is a grown man. He spends about 5 hours a day during the week when he is working the rest of the time or taken a nap.On the weekends it is about 15 to 14 hours a day.Mean while the family is watching him spend his time and money to play the on line game and he has played a view over the last 12 years.

he says it is his way to relax and he needs it,even thou he has been told his love and attention is needed .and that the money that is being spent every month is not hard on the family to and lies about doing it does it behind the wife back because he knows she will say he can't spend the money,doesn't think about if there is even money in the bank to spend. there have been over drafts in the accounts because of it in the past.

This is killing the wife and he doesn't seem to get it and thinks he is not hurting any one that she is hurting him by saying any thing about it.

[GA Guy]

OK, disregard everything I just wrote. Geez, I could have sworn you said gambling in your post. I have a dear friend that's addicted to Lottery tickets, so I guess I just read what I wanted to. Anyway, online gaming is an addiction just like gambling, drugs, sex, or anything else. It's that mental feeling of more is never enough. I thnk the best bet is to get this person into a therapist ASAP for CBT. If they're a minor, then you can cut the accessibility back, but that's just a band-aid fix.

[GA Guy]

Gambling addictions are treated just like any other addiction. You have a few choices. The first would be a rehab situation. Gambling rehabs are all over the country, but are less prevalent than drug rehabs. You could also look online for Gambler's Anonymous. Their website is here..http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ They also have information there along with meeting schedules. You can also get them into a personal therapist who specializes in addiction therapy. Another thing you can try, if you live in a state with a lottery, is to contact the lottery and ask for help. Many lotteries have laws that make them give gambling addiction assistance in order for the lottery to exist. Hope some of this helps.