day 25 help guys need advice bad having a rough time super sad.

Question

I'm proud of myself I had a very very bad night last I went through hell and back and it had nothing to do with pills, I will give the short of it and its embrassing but its the truth, last night a semi friend was over and it was just me and him he came by to see if my bf was home he wasnt I told him he wasnt here I said he will be back prob in about an hour he said well can I just wait on him I thought well no harm in that huge huge mistake. he was in the living room please bear with me this one is hard and at first I was in the kitchen now mind you my kids were not home it was daddys night to have em. well I went to the front door to look out I thought I heard a car but there wasnt any. anyways all off a sudden he was wrestling me to the ground I panic I thought what the hell is going on well he got me down on the floor and I came up fighting with everything I had I managed to get up he pulled my hair and hit me so hard that my head was ringing we got into a fist fight right there in the middle of my living room. but i diddnt give I gave it back as hard as he was dishing it out to me I still I'm not sure what he was trying to do in my head it was rape on his mind this went on for an hour I even ran out of my house and up the road I have never been so scared in all my life. as I was running away my bf came rolling down the road and saw me opened the door of his car at first he said what are doing out here and then he saw the marks on my face and freaked out who did this I told him who it was and they were at our house he about wrecked getting in our driveway he beat the crap out of the guy and called the police needless to say he is in jail and I feel like someone beat the hell out of me which they did. I'm in alot of pain but I'm so proud I did not want to take anything even thou I was broken last night and today still dealing with the horror of last night if I was to break last night would have been it. but I diddnt why do ppl do stuff like that I'm addict but would never do anything like that to someone and def not my buddys gf so I'm having trouble dealing my emotions today and could use a lil support cause I feel so werid and cant stop crying and now I'm jumpy I know this is not really drug related but I do feel that it is a part of how far I have come in my recovery I just need to get a handle on my emotions I dont want them to get the better of me not now I'm scared guys first time sense I started my journey love and light

vicki595 · Answer

I am so sorry...Listen, if you had or do take something to help you relax and numb some pain, it would not be a relapse! This was a huge trauma! A violent crime!  He could have killed you and that thought can be haunting...

I hope you're relaxing and talking about this as much as possible. Is that crazy guy out on bail or what?

babybumpthree · Answer

Wow I'm truly worry you had to go through  this the same thing happen to me when I was 18 years old I'm glad no harm came to you besides the bruises you might have I hope you are doing a little better since I know this was a scary situation

Pat1956100 · Answer

I am so sorry you had to go through that hell. Please see a therapist. That is really scary and you have no idea how much it can effect you. You are probably still in shock. Take good care of yourself and talk about it with your boyfriend as much as you need to until you see a therapist.

Sonrissa · Answer

You will be pressing charges, yes?? Got to keep him locked up so someone else doesn't have to go through this!! They may not be as lucky, if you can call it lucky (sorry), as you were! 

A therapist is a great idea! Glad your BF is ok, too! I'm alone here tonight and it's gonna be a loooong night! (smile) 

Take good care of you!!

Nighthawk61 · Answer

OMG, i'm so sorry that you had to fight for your life like that, i've been in the same position many times with other addicts and i know what you're feeling like right now ~ it's going to take awhile to get back to normal and now you have to go to court as well ~ i'm so glad you have friends to depend on throughout this and all problems that you come up against ~ i'm so proud of you for fighting back like you did ~ keep strong in your resolve ~ this surely is a test for your sobriety , but you can handle anything it seems ~ so, keep up the good work~~

sweetnsassy75 · Answer

Amen sis!!! I agree with u absolutely!! Not only only are u strong in mind , your strong in body as body as well!!! Keep Rollin ; )

solost170 · Answer

thank you sweetnsassy that means alot exp as a woman, I'm proud of myself to I just wasnt gonna take it forget that. I'm not one to just lay down and give in I'm stubborn like that. my bf did make a joke to try and lift my spirtis god love em he said well hun you gave him a bloody nose and a black eye I think he got it worse than you did. which isnt true but made me feel good that I could fight back. thank you for your support it means alot to me I turn to medhelp family when i'm lost and need help they are amazing ppl on here they have alot of love and compassion and knowledge to pass on. they helped me so much through what i have been through us addicts gotta stick 2gether lol

solost170 · Answer

the semi friend is in jail not my bf thank god, and I think I will talk to a therapist and the cops said he was on drugs even thou I diddnt know that at the time. you see he just started working at the garage with my bf I have only meet him a few times I dont know him that well neither did my bf not well just a coworker we thought he was cool. but you never know I guess my bf did say that he acted werid and talked alot about me, my honey just took it as a compliment he said he was used to the guys saying his honey was nice to look at I dont see it but anyways. the garage fired him and did a background check on him. which they dont do upon hiring and he had a wrap sheet he has done this before. from now on unless I know the person very well dont think I will just let you hang out at my house. sometimes you can be to trusting thanks you sonrissa for caring and posting it brought me comfort.

sweetnsassy75 · Answer

Lost-- I have been reading this forum for weeks, but I have never posted, however after reading this I had too.. I am so sorry this happened to you!! As a women though, I'm proud of u chick! 
; ) to go through what u have been through recently ( I've been reading) and to still be able to duke it out!! U go girl!! Keep strong ; ) !!!!!

Sonrissa · Answer

I can not even believe that!! Who is in jail? The "semi friend" or your BF? What on earth brought this on?? Was the guy high on drugs??  I guess none of that matters....

I'm so glad you are ok and that it wasn't worse! Don't even know what to say, except I'm glad this didn't bring you to a relapse! Please take care of yourself! It might be a really good idea to talk to a therapist about this? Keep your chin up, as you work through all of it! Glad you posted and sending you prayers for strength and recovery!! Big hugs, honey!!