DEPRESSION !!!!! OMG, I was soooo depressed, my Dr. put me on twice daily with the Cymbalta, and remeron at bedtime, still don't feel quite right :(
The cravings were just horrindous, I blamed depression, I can still relate to those who are in early, early, stages of recovery, I detoxed 2-16-09 and still to this day have the over whelming desire to go postal ( not funny ) just feel like I may need more help mentaly. Have thought abt. other ways of dealing with this, like LDN or something. I do not want to do this but I may have to at this point I am still living onedayatatime! I am sooo much better than I was, it is slow isn't it ?! Sometimes, angry with myself, I'm a grown woman, family, husband, and this shouldn't be my main matter. Almost 4 mos. ,,,,, still early I guess.
Lack of a plan was a huge deterrent for me. Also, knowing I could not do this alone and needing support but not knowing where to find it. Then seeking help and support in AA and NA and coming here every day reading posts seeing that I’m not alone in my struggle with addiction. And fear of depression and wondering if I would ever feel good again mentally and physically. Now I have a plan, I have support and i'm feeling better every day.
Lack of energy was a big factor for me...I pumped alot of caffeine into my bod the 1st couple of months just to get by :-)
i did not know what was coming either..i did not know about mental wds..omly physical..i knew i would miss the stupid things from time to time perhaps..but had no idea i was gonna get so tired and depressed...i did not plan for it either...cos i didnt klnow about mental wd...and i do think had been ready or at least expecting it..it would have helped me..course this forum is where i learned about it..and where i posted to help me thru it...God bless this forum and every single member who spends their time posting here (:
I have to agree with the loss of energy/depression. I never knew about that one either. Guess that I was never around anyone that quit long enough for it to be a problem......
Fear of the unknown for me........I made a plan to stop taking the pills but didnt think anything thru any further.....Had no idea what to expect. Found this forum and my prayers had been answered.......thought after the wd's it would be over and done with. The wd's were the easy part when i look back. It wasnt easy during that period but i knew i had to go thru some sort of rough period to get to the other side. I made a plan in my head to just sit back and ride out the wd's no matter how bad they were. The mental part has been challenging but i am very determined to keep living my life one day at a time and CLEAN!!!!
Great post worried!!!!
There were many reasons that i could not get and stay clean. The cravings I had were so strong, I was not capable of functioning. Although I did not w/d from cocaine, the crashes everyday were horrible and I had no clue what recovery meant, i thought it was over in a couple days, LOL. I guess the biggest thing besides cravings and the mental part was I had no support group. For me that is key to stay clean and holds me accountable. If ya can't be honest about your recovery, then I feel bad for you.
i think it was the cravings and physical withdrawls for me. i thought i had a plan but plans always seem not to go right.
Anxiety/depression/lack of energy for me...I'm usually a VERY chippery, funny, out going person, so for me to be depressed or down, i get the annoying question from everyone, "r u ok?"...UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Energy, cravings, and the unknown were my main problems. Did not know what the W/D would be like or when they would end. I will never forget feeling so cold....ha! wearing a coat to stay warm ........glad that is over!
Then the cravings and no energy, if not for this forum and people answering ?'s I might still be using...........
Thanks to all who helped me!
Thoughtful post worried.
I agree with gizzy on the honesty part........that is a must in recovery. Without it you are going to struggle and struggle big time. If you cant be honest with yourself than you wont be honest with anyone else.......such a shame......sara
yea i would say that i didn't think i was an addict- so stopping was a 'big piece of cake' mentally- that was the most messed up thing i could think- so when i was going through withdrawals depression was my worst enemy- still is
the mental part for sure, i knew that the physical w/ds would go away, but never thought the mental part would leave..depression was horrible no sleep for weeks...but it is all good now and well worth the agony to have my life back
For me it was not having a plan and believing that I could beat it on my own. Everyone told me but I didn't listen. I promised myself that every time I got clean that if I relapsed again I would do xyz. One time it was telling members of my family, another was going to NA everyday for at least 3 months. I stuck to my self-promises every time. They say that a fool continues to solve the same problem with the same solution. I made something change every time. That is why I believe everyone trying to quit should use every tool available as soon as possible. You won't make it on your own. I guess that makes ME as being my biggest obstacle. Now I have to stay clean for my promise to my friend worried:o)
Oh, the depression is it for me by a long shot. It's unspeakably soul-destroying.
Great question ! It's definitely the energy for me. I've been dragging out the Suboxone taper for so long....because the lack of energy. There always seems to be stuff that has to get done ...grrrrrrr. I need to take 2 months off from life......period.....and get this done with.
My Biggest obtainable to getting clean.. was myself and how I precised myself.. My past ruled my present for many a year.. it almost dictated my future.. Letting go.. such easy words :) but not always easy.. in fact I do not think for anyone it is easy.. but for addicts.. I think it is essential.. lesa
The hardest part I think is fear of facing reality and taking responsibility. We've been so numb from these things for so long and don't know how to cope with it without drugs. Now that I've surrendered things are getting better but all this **** is comming out like anger and pain and once I get hooked on this thinking I start pointing fingers and feeeling sorry for myself, one of my character defects I guess.
Fear, Fear, Fear of everything, being myself for the most part and accepting to make mistakes. I was not allowed that as a kid and I learned I didn't have to be Miss perfect. Fear of what's coming around the corner, fear of people, not anymore...no more fears!