knowing that you want to quit

[maxxie567]

I assume that when a person really wants to quit pills, they just know.  They get to that point where they can't stand them controlling their life.  Obviously, I'm not to that point.  I'm not having any physical w/d's other than a nagging headached and my eye is twitching (not sure if that is even a w/d).  I can't get past the psychological w/d's.  I want the pills.

[TimH2]

They are both pretty much the same. Some people prefer the oxys and some (me) prefer the 10 mg hydros. You have been using the same amount that I was and the time using is the same. It would help so much to let someone close know what is going on. Don't be ashamed!  You might be surprised to find that they suspected it anyway. When I stopped 19 days ago, I was using 10-15 10/325 per day and mixed in with soma or valium. I am sure that you are not as sharp at your work since you have been abusing. Do you notice you make more mistakes? I also have lost happiness in doing things I used to love. I also had no motivation, isolated myself and let go of the "real" Tim. Take some time and think of this Maxxie. I have a feeling you will come up with the right choice. What do you have to lose????

Tim

[maxxie567]

I do work full time and I have close friends and family.  No one knows of my addiction b/c I'm ashamed.  I've been taking on average about 4-6 (and even up to 12) pills a day for 2 years.  DOC is hydrocodone, but also took vicadin (is that the same as hydro) and oxycodone.

[TimH2]

I know the pain of losing a parent and I am so sorry for your loss. I think the pills are just masking the pain you feel. Your Dad knew that you loved him and the words didn't have to be spoken. You have had some hard blows in the past and would really benefit from some counseling. I am sure there are medications that can help you through this depression. Don't be afraid to admit you are human and have a weaknesses. Why don't you list the pros and cons of your drug use. I would sit down and think about what the drugs are doing to your life. I know this is hard.....so hard to quit the pills. Do you work? Do you have close friends or family? What and how many pills were you taking and for how long. If you don't want to share this, I completely understand. I am rooting for you and hope you will find that spark inside that want to quit. Keep posting and reading.

God Bless,
Tim

[maxxie567]

I know that you are right.  I just can't seem to get to that place of being commited to quit.  I know that I use to cover up the pain.  My father died unexpectedly (we were at a bad place in our relationship and I never got the chance to apologize) and I am now divorced.  I initiated the divorce but it has still been heartbreaking.  I'm a 29 year old female.  I'm thinking of seeing a psychiatrist.  

[TimH2]

Try to picture yourself 15 yrs from now still on these pills. I don't know your age, but the longer you use the harder it will be. The pills are controlling your life right now. It is a fight to overcome the psychological w/d's. You can ask your doc for medications to help you through this. The headache and twitching are part of withdrawal. You have to want to quit and must commit to it. Make a list of the pro's and cons of taking these pills. I know the cons will outweigh the pros. It will make a difference in all aspects of your life. You will look and feel better. We all want the feeling we first had from the pills and not one person here will tell you differently. You have to want your happiness more. It really has to stop sometime and I hope you think really hard about this. The people on this forum will be here for you and help you through this.

Best of luck,
Tim