2032703 tn?1330314877

watching the clock

I am probably starting to be a bit of a bug but all I can do is watch the clock aggghhh I keep repeating I can do this. I am of the tattooed variety lol (makeup artist) so I can be expressive without judgement! I have decided to design myself a new tattoo and with each milestone have something added to it which is what I've done with my career. Isn't it sad I felt so good that at 25 I've done music videos magazines etc all the while popping numbing evil pills! Sometimes I wonder would I be even further in my career if I hadn't gotten hooked? But lifes a lesson! So I've decided instead of freaking ill bust out the art supplies and design new makeup looks and tattoos lol
13 Responses
2032703 tn?1330314877
Ahh I didn't elaborate: a tattoo of my accomplishment once I am fully detoxed and free of addiction and maybe add to each year I stay clean
Avatar universal
i think that's an excellent idea. and i agree that you need to take out the art supplies. you defiantly need a distraction from that clock. what else do you like to do? and put some music on.
2032703 tn?1330314877
I'm a reader artist and mommy to a little miracle! Oh and a bit of a hothead did you see the oxycontin post!? I shared lots on there because I took major offense to the person trying to belittle us when we are battling a problem and trying to recover!
1720423 tn?1390185068
Wow! That's a unique & creative idea. Something permanent to remind you & a continuous work in progress, just like sobriety. Some of the most beautiful & creative works of art are born from suffering. Also, a good way to keep your mind busy. Please posts some pics, I am curious to see what you come up with! Good luck, stay strong, you CAN do this!
1990784 tn?1331871778
Love that one 'lost'!
2027954 tn?1329062151
So ARE YOU a tattoo artist? I LOVE that idea and I love tattoos. If so, where you located? I would definately be down with some fresh ink commemorating this accomplishment. Also I am livid about foufers post. What an a$$ hole. This is the hardest thing Ive ever done and dont appreciate scum belittleing my success. Sorry for my offensive vocabulary.
Avatar universal
Hi there, so nice to meet you---I am Margaret. I love your idea of a tattoo! Any idea on the design yet? We will all want to see it and celebrate with you.
I am also an artist, and I recommend that you do whatever art you like. It's good for your brain chemistry and makes time really go by fast---when I'm "in the zone", up to eight hours can go by without my knowing it. I wish you all the best and will be looking for your posts!
Avatar universal
Know it doesn't help how you feel right now, but I'm watching the clock and crying with you. I first came on here a few weeks ago with a true desire to stop. Well, I can't. I tried tapering, I don't have the willpower to cut down when theres a bottle full in my dresser drawer. Cold turkey. Please kill me first...lol but not really lol about it... well, once again, I'm out. Can't find any to buy right now... and as sick and sad as it sounds, I feel like ive  got a huge void in everything I do. So like I said, I know it doesn't make a damn thing any better , but you're not alone...I'm watching the clock with you girl...
Avatar universal
hey i sent you a p.m. check it please. and for bewitched...your here for a reason. i know how hard this is. but stay with us. please. and im Glad you can't score...hahaha (evil laugh). i know its hard. i jumped off of oxycontin. ugh i was so so sick. and stop watching the clock
ah ha i caught ya peeking again. two minutes later.
funny how when we're high we have no preseption of time. then when we stop the pills i sware time stops too. i think there's a connection for that. i bet its because when we were high we didn't count minutes or seconds but when we are detoxing we want it over so fast we obsess over time. tick toc  tick toc.
stop peeking. hahaha.
Avatar universal
hahaha yes in a way I'm glad I can't score too but wow i would turn ninja assassin right now for a handful of pills... im staying with it though... im not clean, not by far but I am getting there =) good luck to all of us  
2032703 tn?1330314877
Hi all! I don't know how to post pics yet! I've been busy drawing I'm just letting it come from the heart I plan on getting in on my right side I was thinking of starting at the hip and working up the side until I have it wrap under the armpit around the sholder and finish at my heart a work in progress to be added to at first the major mile stones in my eyes a month clean six months then a year and annually after. Thoughts or suggestions? The right side is significant because that side of my body was basically shattered when I was struck by a vehicle who ran a red light while I was riding my bike.... Couldn't afford a car at the time and I got where I had to go on a bike.  
Avatar universal
Wow, that's going to be an amazing piece of body art! The minute I read what you said, I immediately thought "the Tree of Life" to represent the ability to grow and blossom and flourish, even in the midst of earthly trials. If it were me, I'd pick something organic and living, with nice lines to wrap gracefully around your body. And the Tree of Life bears both fruits and flowers of all different types to signify gifts we have been given in this life. And you putting it on the injured side of your body is incredibly meaningful! Whatever you decide on will be amazing, I am sure. Keep us posted!
2011934 tn?1329332634
Amen Snake.  I too thought a tree, with deep roots, maybe the roots can signify why you are staying clean, your daughter, your own life, the things that keep you clean, the things that matter most... A Cherry blossom branch is always pretty, maybe with the wind carrying blossoms off of it representing each milestone??   I see it in my head.  I'm have the artistic gene, but my go to is photography, and making things beautiful through the changes in light and scenery.  Good Luck, maybe you can draw me something one day.  I'm looking for an inner right wrist tattoo, something colorful and girly.  =)   Great idea on drawing, get lost in it...
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