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Day 4 nomore..I have to start all over....

Well today would be my day 4. Im so pissed off with myself, sooooooooooooooooo pissed off. I was doing good, really I was handling it at work ...last night after work I caved in. It was percocet 7.5, right in front of my face and I ate one. I feel like Alice in Wonderland right now. No I feel worse. I feel like a complete idiot. so now I have to start over. wonderful. sorry if I let anyone down, I really did myself...Im gonna get this thing right. I know what I want and need to do, last night after I did it I cried a  while after because I know Im stronger than that, I dont know what the problem is......??????????
10 Responses
Avatar universal
Hang in there! I know you can do this too. Don't beat yourself up too much. Just jump back on and start again. I have said this amny times to others but read an article in the health pages on Dopamine. It may help you to understand the physical aspect of relapsing. Keep posting and know that we support you 100%. Big hugs!!
Avatar universal
You're doing great!  One pill doesn't mean you have to start all over, per say.  Keep trucking ahead.  Don't feel like a failure.  We've all been down the same road.  It's a bumpy one.  You will succeed because you want to.  I hear it in your words.  You are serious about this.  You are strong but you are also human.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  Keep your head up!  Good luck and just deal with one day at a time.  Take care.
Sue
Avatar universal
Oh love don't be too hard on yourself. Each day is a challange that you must fight for but I promise you that it will get better, as each day is a new day. Just don't take anymore pills, I am at day 11 and feeling great, it was a rough ride but I promise you you WILL get there.and feeling clean and happy was worth the 9 days of misery. Pray and give your life to god and he will prevail you. Big hugz,
711224 tn?1344771687
repeat after me: aftercare!
1110177 tn?1268461548
You will not be starting over...trust me...I have made it to day 4-7 many times and slipped up.  Just know that the more clean days you have...the better it is...and the ultimate goal is NO PILLS.  I could have been over my detox months ago...but it has dragged out because I made bad choices.  BUT, I am still fighting...and in fact, Winning.  I feel better today than I have in over a year...even with slips along the way.

Keep fighting and stay positive...it's a good sign that you reacted this way to giving in...it shows you really do not want this life...but one with a clear head and normal emotions.
Avatar universal
thank you for your words of encouragement! I was more ashamed to tell you guys then the people physically around me...everyone here is very supportive and Iam so grateful to have this forum. Im going to do this, and Im going to do it right... If it takes me to do it over and over, I will do that.
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Dont feel ashamed to get on here.  Do you still have pills in your possession or around you?  If you do that you need to get rid of them.  That is too much of a temptation which you found out.  What about aftercare?  That is soooo important to our recovery.  Just dont beat yourself up over this, use that energy for something positive.......sara
Avatar universal
Thats why when you start a withdraw at home you really need to get the rest of your pills out of the house.Flush em,sell em,whatever.Just make sure you have no access to the drug.I know from expierience that the temptation will keep poking at you.
Avatar universal
Hey betterthanthat.  Don't beat yourself up. I'm so glad that you are being honest.  I used for 2 days after 2 weeks. I know the feeling of utter disappointment in myself.  But I also know the negative thoughts can hurt me. Remember to think things like I may have used one pill but that's not going to stop me from kicking addictions butt. I'm going to do it today.    You can do this!!!  
902989 tn?1262960576
betterthanthat I feel your getting some good advice here.
Maybe Its just part of YOUR recovery every body is different, its just one day at a time we only have today, time isn’t that important, We just have today, Good luck
PS. Ponder the idea of attending NA meeting
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