Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
494087 tn?1257793207

I Need help?

Hi everyone I have been a member of the anxiety community for a while, but this is really where I belong.  Just to tell you a little about my substance abuse history  i started drinking, pills, pot acid, shrooms, around 13, cocaine 15, shooting cocaine at 18 and then got introduced to shooting heroin shortly there after.  I was addicted to heroin for almost 6 years clean almost 2 years.  I have however now gotten addicted to percocets and many other pills, but in my mind it is different from the heroin addiction, which I still think about heroin almost all the time.  I have to say that my husband gets 60 7.5mg percocets every month and I take all them in 5 or 6 days so after that I am out for the rest of the month, no withdrawls so why do you think I still want to take the pills.  I barely get a buzz anymore, does anyone think maybe I am in the mind set that old habits die hard?  I guess I just need some one to talk to who can somewhat relate to my story, I still feel like there is a void/emptiness in my life without the heroin?  I am in therapy but I dont think I have found the right therapist.  I suffer from severe panic attacks, social anxiety, and insomnia.  I know it is from the drug abuse, the wonderful people in the anxiety community have helped me so much.  I feel it is time to be honest with myself and everyone else and try to live a clean and happy life and not feel like I have to have a chemical in my body to enjoy life.  I hope you welcome me, it is very hard for me to express myself.  Do you think there is hope because I am ready to start living?
6 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
352798 tn?1399298154
The saying, once an addict, always an addict is all too true. You are showing all the signs of addiction. I am surprised you don't have w/d each month. Is there anything else you are taking too?
Is there hope? Yes!! It will not be easy but if you had the strength to kick heroin, you can kick this too. It will take an irrevocable decision to never use ANY addictive substance again. This includes recreational drugs and drinking. Each of these can 'trigger' you to go back to the pills or worse.
Helpful - 0
437415 tn?1211829556
I'm baffled that at your having no withdrawals as well.  But then, you aren't feeling anything from the pills either are you?  You have a world of hope, begin your life!  I sent you a pm

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yes of course there is hope for you. My habits started back in Vietnam days - if I can clean up after a 40 year habit you can do about anything. Keep posting and reading - you can't have too much knowledge about this stuff. When you do the pills and dont even get the buzz it is time to quit. And I know about the anxiety and panic attacks after you quit using - most uncomfortable and distressing......its quite nice to be where I am today as oppossed to where I was last year at this same time........................
Helpful - 0
494087 tn?1257793207
I take klonopin 2mgs twice a day.  and basically whatever I can get, I'm starting the habit of dr shopping which I have got to stop!   I do get a buzz from the pills when I take at leatst 5.  the only sign of withdrwl I get is sweats and diareah.  Nothing compared to the heroin withdrwls and I did basically quit cold turkey with the help of my loving parents and the ocassional xanax to help me sleep. they kept me under lock and key it was thw woest thing i ever went through.  Just because I still think about the heroin, I promise I will never put myself or my parents through it again, I almost died so many times.  I was like walking death =, but ofcourse I did not realize that.  My dad said it would just kill him if I ever did it again,  I am in tears now just thinking about what I put them through and they are still here for me.  I am truley redy to stop.  I just have to break the cycle.  I just need the support from people who know what I am going through.  Thanks so much for responding, I am so excited about sharing this, I think it is a form of therapy in its own way.  I hope you all will be here with me through this journey,  thank you so much you just dont know what it means to me.  I have NO friends, all my so called friends are severe addicts and I have broke all ties with them and moved  3 hours away, so I think I am on the right track.   Thanks again I will keep all of you posted sleep well everyone goodnigh.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hey there, congrats on seeing you problems. so many folks need other folks to tell them their problems before they see there problem. you can do this and like you said you have stopped other things all on your own. but you are right you have to see why you like to numb yourself. but dont do it for passed reason, you can never change them. as hard as that seems your past is your past just forgive yourself. i know i am not saying it right but you cant change yesterday but you can change today and tomorrow. you are in my prayers, and do understand not wanting to tell folks but you have to if you hold it all in it will come back for you. any support and all support is so helpful.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
you are most definitely in the right place here on this forum.....you'll get all the support you could ever imagine....

blessings and sweet dreams....
kim
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
phoenix, AZ
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.