114 day... down the drain

[RastaP]

I made it to114d days drugggg free. A few of my friends came to visit yesterday.. we were going to innocently hang out.. but ten minutes later i found myself poppin a pink penguin and eating another an hour later... earlier this week i was thinking jez i couldn't imagine taking ecstacy i again it was a total stupid thing. I hate that stuff the last time i did it i thoughti was dying literally almost went to the hospital. I know i've already eaten too many for my life time my brain is going to be mush. Now all i can think about is how amazing it is and how mush i love it.  My tummy felt like it had millions of butterflies in it. Probably the closest feeling to love that i'll ever feel.. Now i feel anxious to do it. I want to do it again. but i know i cannnnnnnnnnn't! but it's so easy like i want a garenteeded crazy night i  just gotta take a lil pill with a cool name on it. but this is alll besides the point. I just feel like a peice of **** right now because i messes something up.  I was doing amazing. I don't know if i can stay away from it. I know this one drug os leading me back into more. I'm sitting next to a beautiful tye dye hitof acid.. I know i shouldn't take it. I dont even know why i have it.  But now that i do it's killing me soooo much right now. I can't belive this is even happening.  I haven't been on here in for ever.. i had net drama... But i just really need somone to talk to maybe i don't know i have a bad feeling and i want to eat this. :(

[momloves54]

my question to you is why give up? you came a 114 days that is awesome just be cause you fell does not mean your back down ! you did it for 114 days you have the strength to beat this !! Ill be praying for you!!

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Way to go RastaP ....... sometimes you need a few minutes to think.   Take those minutes when you need them and think about the various choices in front of you......there are a heck of a lot of them!    And best of luck to you.....

[RastaP]

I'm good :) i think i needed an acidtrip to realize many things

[SophieShine]

114 days is amazing! don't beat yourself up and get back on the recovery mode.
Aftercare, aftercare, aftercare...... don't forget about it.
Best of luck to you, hang in there.
xoxoxo. sophie.

[merrymaria]

yep...get back on track....you can do it....please don t beat yourself up....this is a disease that can grab us at any time....keep fighting and believe in yourself....maria

[Holliee]

GOOD LUCK AND KEEP ON KEEPING ON STAY STRONG YOU CAN DO IT...

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

You made it 114 days?  Thats totally outstanding!  So now we have established that it can be done and that you can do it!  Now you really gotta work on extending those 114 days into 114 weeks.........  You arent doing or discovering anything new, Rasta........when I was your age I was buying and selling LSD - 5,000 hits in a pure gram of powder - that was some intense stuff.  Unfortunately many of my friends from those days are no longer with us - - many died directly because of the choices they made about getting high. Some died from the violence that is never far away in those drug circles.............     You are at risk yourself, Rasta.  Some part of your lifestyle will kill you before long if you do not seriously change your ways.....................PM me if you wish to talk about those old friends that I had; and how they died from the lifestyle or complications of that lifestyle that you live - that I lived for too many years............ Its no joke.......... You are currently thinking that you experienced something the other day - - - - because you had taken the X? - - - - -   Sorry about that, but whatever you experienced while doing your old friend X once more cannot be valid.  4 or 5 of you hanging around doing X and comparing notes would make you realize that none of you got it right!!  We actually did this back in 1969 and its incredible how different things are when you are high - -  and how distorted things are.  I am glad that we had a TA with us that was both cool and straight - - - -  He was able to film and document our group just to show us how stupid we looked and sounded when we were at the "peak" of our enlightenment!!  .............. You are rapidly descending that "Looser" trail yourself - - and you seem to indicate to people here that you are helpless to change directions.........Nothing will change unless you become proactive about changing it.........otherwise we loose you....

[ZJILLIAN]

How are you doing? Still online? Hold on. Find something to hold on to. Drugs are big and strong. You need mighty allies, new friends, NA, God, anything to grab a hold of. Don't give up.

[RastaP]

I did it i took it like a dumb ***... I'm okay so far.. i wish i didn't do it tho.I'm dumb but i couldnt flush it

[Lisa034]

dont do it!!!! dont take it!!!!!! go flush it right away!!!!! now,now,now,now,  go flush it right now!!!! Hurry up do it now flush it!!!!!!!  It is ok that you fell off the wagon, but do not stay off! Hurry up and get back on. You are good, you deserve a good clean life, we all do. We will all be here for you.  You are strong, you can do it. I belive in you.  Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.  Yes ibkleen is right, stay away from those friends that led you down that path. Those are not friends.

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!  WE ALL BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!!!!!

[IBKleen]

Ever hear the saying "Stay away from people, places and things"? As long as you are around the places that you used, the people that you used with and the things that you used you are putting yourself in harm's way.

I hope you can learn to stay clean and get on with your life. Best of luck.

[Astray]

Those 114 days were not down the drain, the last 24 hours have been and you know that really.

The other thing you must know is doing that acid tab in the frame of mind you are in is a very VERY bad idea! Don't do it. Flush it away now before you manage to suck yourself into it.

You fell off the wagon, now get right back on it before you wake up 9 months later in jail/hospital/a crack house. You are in charge not the addiction. I don't want to sound harsh but lose that tab and lose those friends too if they lead you down that kind of path...