Thought I'd post an update.
I stopped taking the tamazapam last Sunday. The first night was hard and had no sleep but I've been getting 6 hours a night since and starting to feel better. So 16 days no subs and 5 days nada!
NA has a workbook that you can do at home it is green and gold last I checked. If you can order a copy that might be a good resource for you. Good luck and Happy Holidays!
In my small community in the southeastern US (northwest Alabama) there are several NA and AA chapters. Long before I was a drug or alcohol abuser I accompanied a friend to his NA meetings several times. That group was a total mess. Hookups for sex going on and drama, etc. No wonder people relapsed so much in that group! It gave me a very negative impression as a whole of the program.
My partner finally talked me into going to some meetings again - 20+ years later, and I visited an AA chapter that I was really impressed with, as well as an NA chapter I have been to several meetings at.
There are things about the program that don't seem to click with me. But I am on a taper - not clean yet, and I am trying to keep an open mind. I have had an on-again, off-again affair with pain medications and tranquilizers. Each time the consequences have been worse. Now I find myself addicted to a synthetic opioid drug that is very hard to shake. I need to hear the stories - even the relapses - to remind me what can happen.
I actually get a lot from reading the NA manuals and other publications. You might want to try that. Good luck! -Randy
Cheers James. I have actually managed to find a meeting near me on a Monday. I missed it tonight but I might give it a try next week and see how I get on.
With the benzos I hopefully haven't been taking them long enough to have any problems so I might try tonight without them. Can't see me getting any kip tonight then!
Try and keep positive mate, I know it's hard and I obviously dont know everythin about you but I've known some people pull themselves out of some real bad situations. You've done it before so you can do it again and this time you know more about where not to go wrong.
Congrats on 12 days mate. your doing great and thats what is important. ppl say we need aftercare but if it works for others then it works for yo. i also know ppl who have done there detox and staid away from drugs. Rich you keep doing what works for you. i wish i could sy the same for myself. but this is about you and me for one im proud of you.As for benzos they are very addictive i get vallum but for sezures so i need to take them. When i asked my doctor if i cold stop them she told me it would be dangeros just to stop. best of lck to you mate yo can do it you are doing it Keep on keeping on your friend ,,,,James
We always have to keep our Guard Up~~~~~~
Thanks. Yeah i just want to do this right this time. I didnt really have an abuse problem with the subs, i took them to feel ok and never felt any euphoric feelings from them. I felt rough for a few years as my dose was so low i was at university and didn't have time really to stop taking them.
My drug of choice was heroin and other full agonist opiates, afer not using these for years i thought i had delt with and put some of those problems to bed a long time ago. I have had councelling for 12 years now on and off, moved to a new city away from friends and family and completely changed my life.
I had to do that to get off heroin. I am now settled in a new life and havent though much about my drug of choice for ages.
I just need to keep aware of what my original problem was really!
Ahh now i see you are from the UK. I forget things are run differently!! I too am glad you are reaching out. sara
btw, what i meant by not being able to relate is that the councellors here are not recovering addicts themselves. Where i used to live my councellor was a recovering addict and i found it much easier to talk to and relate to her.
Make the most of what is offered to you right now until you are able to go some place else. Take this time to work on yourself and get to the root of the issues. Your counselor does not need Suboxone experience to help you do that.
And, as you stated, try the online meetings. Some have chat rooms where you can speak with people live, or at least via the keyboard.
The fact that you are reaching out is wonderful. Keep it up!!!
Its difficult to change counselors here because of most of them being national heath service. I went to see some one at the local community drugs team at the hospital but they have a 16 week waiting list and also see me as a "not very important case" well not a priority. So i went to a charity run place instead. They've been great but they have very limited resorces unfortunately. I can go there and hang out if im feeling rough but the counceling itself, although i really appreciate what they have done, is quite limited. They actually had no experience at all with sub users and couldn't give me much advice on it. They've been great with support though and as a person to talk to.
If this is how you feel then you have to do what is right for you. Hopefully in time you will find something that works. I am not real sure what you mean about your counselor when you said you can only relate to a certain extent. Can you find a different counselor?
I actually cant get to see my doctor, long story. Thanks for the advise though.
I have nothing against NA dont get me wrong, i just signed up for an online meeting tonight. The best place for me to go for meetings is Bristol about 30 plus miles away. I just cant afford to drive there atm.
I know people that have years of clean time using NA and i also know people with 10years clean time going completely alone, i aslo know people who went from years of heroin abuse to going it alone that now drink at weekends. I think that people are different, for some people NA is just not for tham and they would prefer to keep away from any temptation what so ever. I know that if somethines you ignore the problem it comes and bites you on the a** but for some that works, ive seen it.
With me im just not sure, like i said i went to meetings everyday when i left a 12 step rehab in 2000. How would i know who the best people are to be surrounding myself with, afterall relapse can happen to anyone. I am a recovering heroin addict and have been off my drug of choice for 4 years. I'm just not sure if i want to be around heroin addicts again.
As far as the Tamazapam goes, you will need to work that out with your doctor. Explain that you wish to be off of it and have him/her give you a proper taper. Be careful with it and follows the plan.
As far as NA goes---it is a great support group and the program itself can provide you with the tools to stay clean and live a better life. If you relapsed because the people around you relapsed, then you were with the wrong people. It has nothing to do with NA itself. I have been in the fellowship for 23 years and I have 3 years clean---what does that tell you? I need to stick with the winners and I need to work the program and I need to stay away from those people who are there for the wrong reasons. Yes, there are people there for all the wrong reasons. Those folks are also at the min-mart down the road, and the golf course and the restaurant I like to go to and the pizza place...and so on. It is my choice as to whether I associate with them or not.
Choosing to come here for support is great but it does not replace the up close and personal thing you get from an outside support group.
I have been to meetings in foreign countries and in quite a few places in this country. I find it hard to believe there are no meetings near you? Maybe you have to drive a bit, I know I do, but it is worth it to meet people just like yourself.
Congrats on 12 days. I hope you are drug-free soon!!!