17 Days

[Goblin666]

Hi Everyone,

17 days off everything today! Last Norco was 17 days ago and last tram was 23 days ago.  If I'm being honest Trams were way harder to get off of then norcs.  I've done almost every type of opiate you can imagine including the stuff you can't get with a script and Tram WDs just added a whole nother level of depression and despair. Haven't made it this long in a long time.

Physically I feel good, some aches here but I am guessing that's just normal body stuff from walking so much.  Sleeping is still hit or miss but I got a great night's sleep last night.  Less fatigue and depression today.  Feeling hopeful.

Anyway, I went back and read a post from March of 2014 I had posted the last time I made it this far to 17 days....  The difference is that I am not as depressed or fatigued as I was then and I am 100 times more active.  I am seeing a correlation here. Get moving people.  When I had two days I forced myself on a treadmill and got some relief.  It seemed like an impossible task to get moving but has been my lifesaver.

Cravings..ugh the cravings...

The little voice in my head again is telling me that if I just got one more script it would be different. (no more sources FYI). I absolutely know in my heart that this is so wrong.  I have not felt this alive in so long that it brings tears to my eyes.  I feel like I have a chance now...and the emotions will come and go and medicating through them is no way to live.  Realizing how much I used these pill to emotionally and mentally medicate. Done.

Went to a meeting this morning and going to a sober event with friends tonight.  I'll keep working on myself and posting here.

Have a nice weekend everyone.

I'll check in tomorrow.

Best,
Goblin

[NeverAgain127]

Hey buddy,

How are you doing?  You were posting days, which is great, but I haven't heard from you since the day before yesterday.   Are you okay?

-Robin

[bobbyvenegas]

Congratuatlions! It's great that you know not to listen to that voice. It will come and go and it will continue trying to trick you in to trying just 1 pill but like IBK said, 1 will never be enough and it will set you back to the beginning. Learned that the VERY hard way and the VERY not fun way. Continue living this great sober free life, each day becomes better too.

[Goblin666]

Yep going to meetings have a sponsor and have been working the steps. I've been in recovery since 2007.  Was on these pills for a number of injuries and surgeries. I have a huge support network and am so grateful for them.  Trudging the road to happy destiny.

[IBKleen]

1 is too many and 1,000 is never enough. If you take that one pill it will drive you right back to using and it gets harder eve you detox.

Going to meetings is great. Did you get a sponsor? Will you be working the steps? Get involved and listen, listen, listen. Those cravings don't go away. I am coming up on 8 years clean and I still get them. Yeah, they are whispering voices at this point..they used to shout at me very loud. that stuff drove me crazy. The difference now is that I learned how to make the voices leave my head. I learned relapse prevention and dove into learning life skills so when the voices start chatting I tape their mouths...lol

I hope you continue with the meetings and get everything you can get out of them and leave the rest behind. Keep up the goo work and let us know how you are doing.