20 days clean

[jrizzy303]

Im greatful for the twenty days, but on the other the hand now that I have no suboxone in me to block the pain pills. Ive been wanting to take a pill. Even though I am doing so good. I guess Im just sick of feeling the feelings of not having my brother or my friend who were murdered over pills last year not here physically. I know there here in spirit, but most days that dont cut it. I hope it will get better once I start working. I know that is right around the corner (work). thanks if read. Feel free to message.

[jrizzy303]

Thanks for the support. Its understandable I guess theres just different meanings of moving on. Yeah they died at the same time. A supposidley friend who I knew tried to rob them for there roxys and ended stabbing friend and then shooting both. Yeah Thanks felt good to cancel script. Now my next step is going to norco dr to tell them not to write me scripts thats guna be a tough one. Yes I am still fighting with everyones support. Yeah you didnt offend me. It just depends on how they mean it. (move on).

[loulou100204]

I'm sorry I didn't mean move on as in tomorrow the pain of the loss will be gone and you need to forget about it. I truly apologize that it was taken that way.  I meant only encouragement to you to keep up the fight.  Move on as in begin to deal with the feelings and begin to heal. Again I'm sorry.

[jrizzy303]

Thanks yeah sometimes you need a break from the site. And certain debates can get a little grimey.  

[vicki595]

I know. Telling someone so devastated by traumatic loss to "move on" does seem trite.
I have to believe,though,that she meant well.     It's painful to lose people we love. As addicts in recovery it's particularly painful because we're not used to feeling bad!

You are doing the right thing. You're wise to know you need help facing this, as anyone would.

Can I ask you...did they die at the same time or near the same time? Drug related?

Congrats on the 20 days. I know it's tough and I know you cancelled your refill which was great!

[trdofbeingtrd]

I'm sorry I am not on to much, but please, stay on here and let the people give you support. I will be on later tonight, I am trying to give this place a break, but with people that want support that have talked to me, it's hard for me to not TRY and help them.

You are doing great, just please stay on this site and keep talking to people.

[jrizzy303]

Thanks for the support. When people say move on with traumatic loss like this you dont just move on if you move on then your just forgetten about your brother and friend. Or moving on could mean moving on with them here in spirit. No offense but nobody really knows how it feels when somebody says move on unless they have had a traumatic loss. Yes I see a good counselor who says you cant just move on but you have to pick up the pieces and keep going best you can. I look at moving on as forgetting about the loved ones. And I wouldnt be able to do that. The bad feelings are just what I have to deal with along with the good memories and feelings. I guess Im just use to the synthetic happiness and not dealing with the emotional roller coaster. And I go to a traumatic loss class once a week. Next week Im going to try a meeting called celebrate recovery church based. Thanks alot for the advice.

[vicki595]

Yup,feelings come flooding back. Are you seeing anyone? Going to meetings,support groups,etc? Anything?

Boredom,lonliness,depression...are huge triggers. Sometimes we need help with that.

Feel better--

[loulou100204]

I'm sorry for your loss it has to be difficult to deal with but  you need to feel these feelings and try to move on.  The pills won't help and 20 days clean is great don't give that up. It gets better just keep on going and you will see. Keep up the fight.