27 and addicted for 5 years need help!

[stueaddict]

I am 27 years old and a mother of 3 wonderful children. I have married almost 5 years and have been on hydrocodone 10/500, Valium, methadone, and just about any pain killer I can get my hands on at this point for about 5 years now. It finally hit me today that I have to change my life around. I have chronic back pain and I am terrified to get off my meds for fear of the pain in my back will just keep me taking the meds I am already addict to. My marriage has been crumbling for a couple years now and I finally tonight told him that I'm addicted. I really don't have his support anymore. He has filed for divorce 3 different times but we never have went through with it. His mom completely is my worst enemy by enabling him to leave me. She has told everyone I know that all I do is pop pills, ssmoke

[Stacy_Lynn]

you've at least realize u need help, that's the first step. You've come to the right place!!! You have to take control of ur own life & get away from the drug's having control of u!! I've been clean for a while now & will say life is much better on the other side. Love & Prayers!! Stacy

[kyle505]

Boy - you have a lot of very important things going on all at once. You need to sort those things out and prioritize.  Your wanting to stop using is great; but your children's welfare is what should come first, then work your way down from there. Can you salvage your marriage? Has your addiction had anything to do with your husband's wanting a divorce? By getting clean would you at least be able to get him in to some sort of counseling or have things moved past that, I.e., his mom's bad mouthing you, etc.
How bad is the back pain? Is it really debilitating or do you find yourself feeling worse just to keep getting scripts? If your pain is all that you claim it is then you need to get your doc involved. Call him/her, explain the situation and ask for help; maybe a tapering plan.
There is plenty to do after all that is sorted. You've made a very crucial decision, but right now your life is in a bit of a turmoil. You have to decide what your next step will be. We'll be here to support you, but all the hard stuff is on your plate.

[stueaddict]

Smoke pressed enter on accident...continuing....  smoke cigarettes and drink my dew all day. I feel as if everyone that I have in my life has turned their backs on me. Now with admitting to my husband my problem I am afraid he is going to leave me which makes getting off these pills that much harder. have detoxed in the past but only because i have ran out of my meds. I am depressed and have major anxiety but i believe alot has to do with this life i have been living and the lie of the pills r helping me. They arnt. I want to quite cold turkey but am open to the idea of vitamins/ home remedies. I just simpily need help from this horrible evil problem. Enough is enough.  Any ideas i am willing to try any ideas except in-patient detox. I can't be away from my kids and my family schedule doesn't allow me the time away from home. I'm tired of being lazy and just wanting to stay in bed all day. So That's a ruff draft of my story and can't waiting to hear your ideas. Thanks.