6668556 tn?1422469105

31 days clean today!! still have craving though ugh!!

31 days clean today i have my good and bad days for sure!! I was definitely put to the test last friday when i got a ticket from a police officer for speeding i was in a rush to get to work..anyways thats when reality hit and i felt real emotions I litterly broke down and cried for an hr because i felt to stupid and was pissed i had to pay this 250 dollar ticket....before i would just take a pill when anything bad in my life would happen...anyways after my break down i just prayed and prayed to god to just help me get through this!!...and then i relized this is real life! i can not mask my problems with just a pill because when can  any of us remember taking that pill took away our problems...yeah it took away our pain and emotion and made us forget about reality for a while...but it doesn't take away our problems it only masked them and made thing worse...anyways i ended up paying the ticket and felt much better about it and def learned my lesson to slow my *** down!! like i said there are days like these that i crave so bad!! but i just remind myself of all the bulshit i went through when i was on vics...i probably would've spent my ticket money on pills instead of paying the actually ticket 31 days ago...anyways my point is to just stay strong all of you!! because reality will hit and when it does don't let that moment of pain be your weakness because it is only a moment and will go away!! tomorrow could always be better!!! keep me in  your prayers as all of you are in mine xoxo
7 Responses
Avatar universal
Hey girl, firstly at 31 days you are still mentally detoxing (and will be for a while) that's why you felt SO emotional getting a ticket. It won't always be like that. Also, what is your aftercare? Whenever I wanna lose it, I call my sponsor or someone in the program and spill it all to them!
6668556 tn?1422469105
I have been going to church with a lot of recovering addicts it is definitely an awesome feeling to know I'm not alone and god is with me along with other people
11318065 tn?1462984479
Congrats on Day 31!!!  You are doing so awesome!!!  SO glad to hear about your support with the church!!!  Support helps so much to get us through the rough times!!  Sorry about the ticket....Grrrrrr  We all have to learn that lesson and slow down!!!  It S***S having to give that money away though!  Im glad you talked yourself through it!!!  Keep on doing such a great job!!!  XO Karen
6668556 tn?1422469105
@cricket92 thank you!! yes lesson has been learned!! thanks for being such a great support hun
10996785 tn?1432812977
Congratulations, you're doing great. I'm impressed by what you're doing. Sounds like you're constructed a solid plan and now you're seeing why it's so important to have one. Life just has so many ups and downs that when we are weak it can be the ruination of our best intentions. You are an inspiration to all by not only what you are doing doing but also by how you are doing it. This is good!........ike
6668556 tn?1422469105
thank you!! its not easy but I am fighting with everything i got...ive already relapsed once before and am determined not to make the same mistake..i know i will have my weak moments but let me tell you nothing can be worse than being controlled by a drug everyday and not living your life because of it...each day gets better and i get stronger..everyday is a battle and a fight and i plan on winning :)
6726276 tn?1421126668
You are winning.
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