36 days clean from methadone

[JenniferLutt]

Well it seems as if I have made it thru these past few days without to much trouble. I am finally sleeping pretty good. I am getting a min. 4-5 hours of sleep a night. I was actually able to get thru last sat night with 9 hours straight i was soooo suprised. Now with that being said I have been under alot of stress as most of you already know and it just seems to keep getting worse. My sister (who is 40 and just started using about a year ago) I seen her for the first time in almost a year yesterday and she looks horrible. I have known she was smoking crack and pot for a while now thats why I have not been around her. But I am very worried about her. She told me last night that she had been using meth and klonopin too. She weighed right at 300 lbs the last time I saw her and she is now down to 148 and she looks almost dead. I want to help her so badly but I know deep down there is nothing I can do until she is ready. I think the stress of her and my uncle passing away and my step mom dieing from cancer and my dad not doing to well is starting to catch up with me. I noticed yesterday my anger has gotten really bad, I think most of it is due to the stress I am under but I feel like a ruberband about to snap b.c of being streched to far. I feel myself sliping into a depression like I havent had to deal with in years mostly bc the methadone made me so numb. But so far I havent repeated the cycle by going back  to using but only by the grace of god.

[JenniferLutt]

thank you both...it is hard I am hanging in there for the most part...usually when things start to bother me this bad I try to send my son to my dads or my moms for the night to kind of give me a break to help me deal with things a little easier. I had already made plans for this weekend before it all got really bad and I kinda greatfull for it. I am going to have some of my husbands family and a friend of mine up to work on my tat. Something about getting a tattoo relaxes me and makes me realize how good I do have it and right now that just what I need. Oh and I just got even more bad news about my step mom her cancer numbers shot way up so she is getting worse but I knew this was coming it just doesnt make it any easier.

[sudie58]

i just wanted to say how well you have done, i have followed your story and i know its been hard for you, it must have been a shock to see your sister so visibly damaged by drugs, stay strong and god bless you.

[gnarly_1]

HI Jenn.....so sorry to here about all your family troubles ....its tuff dealing with stress strait when where use to being numb.....when I was on methadone things dident seam to bother me as much or should I say as much as they should have it sorta quiets the world around you
your recovery has been going well but expect it to take a wile till your back to 100%  again
its a slow process but gradually you do get better....I havent slept more the 6hr in a row since I quit the stuff sleep will come ans go over the next few mo but eventually you will settle in to what your body needs...for me its 6hr .....I do long for the time I use to get 8 to 10 hr and feel so refreshed but as far as methadone detoxes go you have done great hang in there never under estimate the Grace of God..........................Gnarly