6 Days CLEAN of Percocet 10/325

[KMK523]

I would like to start by saying I think this forum is wonderful! I have read many posts this past week, and find a little comfort knowing I am not alone! I am a 34 year old mother of 3 amazing kids that need their mom back. My story starts like many others that I have read on this page....I had back surgery 13 years ago and was prescribed percocet for the pain. Over the years I have become more and more dependant on the pills and have drastically increased my dose. TODAY I AM 6 DAYS CLEAN COLD TURKEY METHOD!!! I am proud, but realize I have a long road ahead of me. Before I stopped taking the pills I was up to 16 10/325's each day. The physical withdraw was pure HELL, but I made it through. I must also add the pills have always been prescribed to me from my family physician...240 per month. I have never purchased illegally EVER!!! My question is this......I have good days and I have bad days. Bad days are pure HELL. I feel exhausted, bad headaches, diahreah, and plain SAD. When will this get easier?? Right now the only support I have is my husband. He is great, but can not relate to what I am going through. I am afraid to dare talk to anyone, or even attend a meeting because I know a lot of people and I fear being recognized by someone. No one knows that I have this problem (at least I don't think anyone knows). Any advice would be appreciated....first time poster. Thank you all for listening!!

[boutdattime]

B complex is great for withdrawal

[Joeycakes]

Hey everyone,

I'm 21 and I have been taking percs just about every day (aside for 2 or 3) since late May. Before that it was just a once a week if that to get past a 12 hour day of work. Recently I find myself taking 5-6 a day but that has been maybe 7 times in the past 4 months. Usually its 2-4 pills. I feel like I can't get my day or commute going without a dose. I feel like I can't be productive at work either. I am 21 and I take these pills before I have sex with a women. It makes it much more fun. I think I did 2 days in a row clean with much vitamins and kava and kratom and immodiam etc. I did not feel as bad as I'm sure people who took more for longer periods of time have. 

I feel like lately I have to take a lot more in order to get that warm euphoric feeling.
The thing is I am not sure that I completely want to stop. Sometimes I do 100% but sometimes I think "I can do it sometimes, I just love how I feel" 

My question is, is it possible that I feel so crappy when I'm off them because I anticipate that I am going to get sick and experience heavy w/d?

Also if anyone has any suggestions about tampering off, that's the method I would like to do.

I hope to conquer this thing. It made me gain a little weight and here in NYC they are available all over the place but there so expensive. $10 a pill! 

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks And good luck to anyone working hard to stay clean. 

[teachermommy690]

That is not selfish!  That is the reason you WILL be successful!  You can't do this for anyone other than yourself or it just won't work.  Like so many things in life, until we are truly ready to do this (for ourselves and ourselves only) the other 'stuff' in life is not going to help.  I will admit, that my kids and husband are a huge chunk of why I knew I had to quit, but ultimately I did it for me!  What other people think of me is none of my business.  I knew that I HATED what my life had become with the pills and I was a slave to them.  You are doing a wonderful thing and it WILL work for you!  Keep up the good fight!  Keep posting - it helps more than anything!  Hugs to you honey!

[KMK523]

That's exactly right!!! We are all here for the same reason, and we have a lot in common! Together we will beat this! I'm not allowing the pills to beat me...my husband and kids are my reason for wanting this do badly...but more importantly I want this for me!! Is that selfish??

[thewaz]

I know we will both do this.  And I'm sure the lack of sleep is just messing with me. God I love my sleep.  Let's hold each other up.  Day by day..right?

[KMK523]

I should add that I gave 60 to my neighbor across the street. For the last couple months we would borrow from eachother in between scripts. He was happy getting 60...I said don't ask don't return and have a nice day. Ok waz....you have made it this far and you inspire me with your strength...you will get through this day!!!! Stay strong and see another day clean!! Why does this temptation plague us for so long?? I thought I would get through the physical wd's and be fine. I never expected all this post crap!!! Together with eachothers support we can and will do this!!! I hope your day gets better :)

[thewaz]

Day 8 is so awesome and so is your change in the thought process.  I'm proud of you.  I'm having a really bad/weak day today.  If you recall I told you that devil will sneak up when you least expect it.  I will be honest here and tell you that if I knew there was a pill in the house right now I would probably have taken it this morning. That's how weak I am.  But guess what?  There are none.  My doctor and pharmacy has cut me off.  And I'm not going back to the streets.  I'm done.  But only because I can't get any. That's just today.  I'm sure later I will know this state of mind is just one that is f'ing with me.  But know this KMK....  it will haunt you. Please, only for you, don't allow temptation to be easy.

[KMK523]

60 are gone, 61 remain...I will finish this!!! This I can do!!!

[KMK523]

This goes out to all of you...you all are a huge help and inspiration to me right now!!! I made it to another SOBER day...8 days now!!!!! I still have the pills, half of them. Im giving up the rest tonight. I can't believe the anxiety I'm having over this :(  I do need to find the strength to tell my doctor not to write me any more scripts. I have his cell number...that's how easy he makes it for me!! I've watched him CUT OFF so many people who start to abuse narcs. He always promised never to do that to me. He always says..."you aren't abusing...you don't ever come in here all f****d up!", yes it's that easy for me to get more. How sad is that??? Ok with that said.....the pills are still in the house. Last nIght I wasn't able to have that talk. I was out with my kids, and hubby worked late. I guess that's my excuse for not doing it. I'm going to toughen up and do it tonight!!! I'm going to try anyway. Why is this so hard?? I give all of you that have told your doctors, called the pharmacy, and flushed or flushed or gave your pills away lots of credit!! It couldn't have been easy!!! God has blessed me with another clean day. I need to find the strength somehow to take the next step! I love you all for your words of wisdom and the support!! Thank you!!!

[Bones216]

Kmk, how are you? I've been thinking of you all day. Sorry to be so harsh in my earlier post. I just know that you and i, and so many others on this site have been trying to control the pills for years, yet here we are. I hope the talk goes well with you hubby, and don't kill him. You are a strong, determined, beautiful soul. You can and will do this.

[minn66]

Lol, what Sonrissa forgot to mention is that the pill that stuck to the potty reminded her of me ;) When I had flushed some, my toilet didn't flush all the way so I had to watch three pills bob around while waiting for the tank to fill

[Fireby29]

KMK, welcome and congrats on your clean time.  You have gotten a ton of great advice, all I will add is to call your doc and tell him/her no narcs.  It keeps you from getting weak and setting up a appointment and getting a refill.  I know for me, as a addict, I had to do it with pharmacy and family also.  I feel liberated!  It was so hard, but the doc dumped me (best thing ever happened to me) and then I did the pharmacy and family.  I wish SO BAD I had been responsible for the doc, so I really encourage other folks to do it.  I am unsure if I would have made it this far had I not tested clean at a pain management appointment and been dumped.  Just a thought, your doing great!

Bryan

[Pat1956100]

I couldn't flush either but I did give some away.  I paid too much for mine lol.
Happy flush party.

[thewaz]

It's the best news I've had all day. Seriously.

[KMK523]

Thanks for the support!!!!! You are a inspiration to me...we are all
In this together!!!!

[KMK523]

You really just made me laugh...wow that is discipline!!! I am hearing you all loud and clear!!! I am going to hand the bottle over tonight. I hope I can handle it!! I personally can't flush them, or be around for it but I'm sure my hubby will be happy and more than willing to. I'm amazed how he has stood by me through this and never have up on me. I don't think he understands that I'm still struggling though. I told him to be patient and understand there will be good and bad days but soon the good will outweigh the bad. Thanks ladies!! ;)

[thewaz]

Thank you.  I will forever hold in my memory that last pill lingering..teasing..toying and your strength in pushing that sucker down!

[Sonrissa]

Ok, so Waz is making me relive my flushing story again! I had been somewhat successfully tapering my pills for a couple of weeks! I was having mild withdrawal symptioms! Thought I was doing great, but it was getting harder and harder to taper! I got very emotional and cried all day on Wednesday over some stupid thing, and I had just had it! I wanted out! I wanted it over! So, I took my last 2 pills on Wed night before bed! I got up on Thursday and sat the pill bottle before me, and as I drank 3 cups of coffee, I stared at them! Finally, I got up walked into the bathroom dumped them in and flushed fast! Well one stupid pill got stuck on the side of the bowl and I had to touch it to get it to go down! Yuck! It was about a 10 day supply! That was that! It's been a very rough ride, and I'm not through it yet, but there are glimmers of light, it is getting better! I hope I've been able to inspire you to flush them! If not just send them to me and I will flush them for you! Ummm, Probly not a good idea! LOL best wishes and much support to ya!!

[thewaz]

That was me who made that post and it makes me feel good to see you hear me.  It's critical because if you're not 110% committed your chances of failure and relapse are HUGE. Flush Flush Flush.  And then when you do you KNOW you are committed.  Is it hard to watch them?  Ask Sonrissa her flushing story.  it's a great one.

[thewaz]

I believe in you.  They will try to take you over again.  Trust all of us. The only way to really be successful, despite how strong you may think you are, is get rid of all sources.  That's why I was so freaked out Sunday.  I knew there would be tons available to me and it flipping freaked me out for 24 hours before and the whole time I was there.  And then I would feel Dixie.  You're going to have to convince yourself you are stronger than these pills.  Right now, I'm very sorry to say, despite your most AWESOME 7 days....they will win if you keep them.  It just is what it is.  I know you want this as badly as I do.  Have your husband make them disappear.  Not hide.  GONE.  I believe in you.  You have so got this.

[KMK523]

Waz...I found your post, read it, cried and commented!! Thank you!! You are right...the pills need to go. A lot of things I have read on here say the mind games will tell me to take them. I'm going to hand them over to my hubby tonight. I will let you all know how that goes. I am committed to being clean. I just am scared.....

[thewaz]

I just responded to your question about the pills you're holding on to on my post.  But here's what I said...

I will tell you..as I enter day 18 if I had pills available there were many times I would have taken them. Weak moments.  Brain playing mind games.  Sorry darling, you may think they are a security blanket, but FOR WHAT?  Tell me that?  What kind of security are they offering you?  Did you commit to this new clean life?  Then I don't get it.  Sorry if I'm being tough but all of us will tell you if they are in reach chances are very strong you will relapse.  And you are so strong and want to be clean and live a good healthy life. Your security blanket is right here.  Right here.

[KMK523]

Thank you...I sure hope so!! :)

[dominosarah]

You will be even better than you were before~~~