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A safe place

I quit using lortab over a month ago.  I was taking it for energy because my disease (no cure) causes severe muscle weakness and fatigue.  When taking the lortabs, I could stay out of bed all day, clean my house, take care of my kids, make meals, do laundry.  It was great - (except for the whole addiction end of it of course!)  I didn't only give up being numb and not feeling my feelings about being disabled, but I also gave up energy to take care of my kids.  Now my house is a mess, I'm lucky to do a load of laundry a day and we usually eat whatever we can grab - including my young kids. I just wanted to say that I wish I could take lortabs again, but I know I can't.  And this is a safe place for me to say that.  I am proud of my days clean, but I sure miss being able to do things a normal person can do.
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Avatar universal
Worried878-  "....u gotta let the drugs go..almost like a relationship that ended or a death/ and u grieve the loss///normal to do this...but remeber everytime u crave that there was a reason u quit..."

^ This is so true.  Very well said.
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Avatar universal
From 12 -10mil pills a day over a 5 year strecth which should have been only 4 a day I was always going through WD's. The only thing that kept me from doing more was the fear of jail I never could bring myself to buy on the street so I have tried a lot of ways to get through WD's. For me the only way to stop without missing a week of work or going to rehab was to tell my doctor that i was lossing control. I never told how bad but he put me on ultram 300cr. He thought it was not addictive at the time.
Like so many others I learned it was but it was strong enough to help with the withdrawal pain I only had minor discomfort for 3 or 4 days. By the end of the month I was able to stop the Ultram C/T much better than the hydros. Pills react so different to different people that It might be worse for you or better. Because of spine problems I will have to take Hydro's again in the future but I believe if it wasn't for that I could get in a after care program  have a good chance of living clean. I have a great pain doctor and we are always tring new methods of controling my pain so one day maybe a drug free life is possible for me. This might not help you but I know how hard it is to stop but if you can get your doctor involved it makes it a lot safer and a lot easier for you. May GOD bless your efforts and I will help in any way I can
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I really need help with this.. Im taken. 20-40 lortab a day. i have been on them for years. I WANT TO STOP.. what can i do with out going to rehab??  can someone please help me.. Email me at a_v_p29***@****
Helpful - 0
1015921 tn?1251709372
I thought I was the only person who took them for this reason. It is amazing how strong and competent you feel and how much you can get done.

Then I started noticing I was developing this agressive, self centered attitude. I became so much of a super woman, I could say whatever I wanted to whoever I wanted and they could like it or lump it.

Add to that the increasing tolerance and I knew it was time to stop. I don't know who I was before but that was just not me.

So my house is so bad I wouldn't let the technician in to install my DSL because I was embarrassed. I installed it myself. While in full withdrawal, btw. It took six phone calls to tech support but I got it done.

To me that's small stuff. I'll get it clean. I have a plan to do a little bit every day.  If I dust the dresser then I'm working on it. If that's all I can then that's all I can do.

I think it is better for your kids to eat pizza every day and have their real mom back. JMHO.

This is only temporary. Do NOT relapse like I did. You will be back to day one. Who wants to go through this hell more than once just to be able to function for a couple days? Learned that lesson.
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
Can feel ur sense of loss...i also have a chronic pain condition so I was a prime candidate for addiction...took over 3 yrs for me to become addicted..but i did
pain causes fatigue and depression..I guess i was lucky cos the pills started turning on me and i only felt depressed..like a loser who lost control of my life...emotional pain of using can often outweigh the physical pain we feel..everyone is different

why did u quit?  can u list the reasons here!...think back/feel the turmoil u felt that led u to quit...feel it and let it go/but keep it tucked away so u will recall it at times like this..the brai has a protective mechanism  so as time goes by the pain doesnt seem as intense as it was when we were feeling it...r u doing any type of aftercare?

be safe...u r close to relapsing it sounds....u gotta let the drugs go..almost like a relationship that ended or a death/ and u grieve the loss///normal to do this...but remeber everytime u crave that there was a reason u quit...read the health pages if u getta chance...great info there
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
  

I can so relate to how you are feeling and where you have been on your journey.  I am considered disabled, and my body also feels the disabled part.  I know how the "no energy" thing is and I know that for me it is almost debilitating in itself!!   I wish so much that I could use my Norco again and not have it lead me down the same darn road, but no doubt it will.   It seems to take time but the Drugs don't care, do they?  I am tired of nothing working for me pain-wise,  only the dull and never ending return to where it always is.  Have thought many times abt. Sub but from what I have read on here, that wouldn't be a good decision.  I hated what the opiates did to my body, dehydrating from the time it hits the stomach untill there wasn't enough water to drink to watter'em down!!!  Not a "good night's sleep" while taking them either.  Doing dumb sh## while being under their influence, no patience, no sleep,  no weight gain,... no problems ( a..ummmmmm, right)    Whew, just a moment of TI (tempory insanity )!!!!

Well, I don't care what is considered normal,  cause I'm pretty sure I wouldn't fit that description even on a good day.   Normal for me is getting up before noon, usually with the phone ringing with some one on the line who obvisously gets up with the chickens,  and is wanting something.  Darn, why don't I let the machine catch these people,  so what if they want information on prices!  They don't need them before NOON !!  ..........  I re-gressed again.........   Too much Voltaren Gel on the joints today.  No, I didn't take it internaly,     Yes,  I hate it for everyone who suffers from pain of any kind and who  are done with the opiates !  I am hopeful that someday there will be no need to be addicted to anything esp. an opiate, but alas,  the big drug companies have bigger fish (money) to gain from not hunting a cure for some of the diseases we suffer from!

Needed to vent,,,  thanks for listening

E
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Avatar universal
To more_fiend and jenssad25,

Thanks for writing back.  I'll try to answer both of your questions.  More_fiend, I have myasthenia gravis which causes extreme muscle weakness (legs, arms, neck, eye lids, chewing, swallowing) and extreme fatigue.  I can no longer work.  The disease does not cause pain, but I had consecutive surgeries due to my disease and they were painful, and of course they prescribed lortabs.  I noticed while recovering from surgeries that the drugs were giving me energy - the more I took the more I could do.  It was so liberating from my stupid disease to be able to take care of house and kids again.  And to go places!  But within 9 months I was taking 12-15 lortabs a day. I am doing everything I'm suppose to w/vitamins, drinking fluids (not beer ;-) ), and seeing an oriental med Dr. (OMD) for acupuncture and some herbs for energy.  But nothing really helps with this disease - that's why I'm no longer able to work. (I actually have a hard time holding my head up long enough to write this.  (A stranger wouldn't no I was sick, I don't look sick, just very weak)   Jenssad25, yes, I stopped cold turkey.  For me and many others, it's the only way to go.  If I had the pills, I was going to take them.  I couldn't wean down.  Just be prepared if you decide to go ct.  Read the "Thomas Recipe" down in the lower right hand corner of this page.  And realize that anxiety is a huge part of the detox process, expect it and remind yourself it's part of the process.  I am seeing a therapist, she is also a licensed addictionologist.   And yes, it's been over a month, but I will never get my energy back - it's just part of my disease.  

To both of you, some days I am so, so tempted, wanting to have energy back.  But it was reckless, I was driving on them and I had no memory, and I"m sure it was killing my liver, that is what I have to keep telling myself.

Best of luck to both of you and please send me a message anytime.  Impulse
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Avatar universal
You are not alone, I didnt have any ailements that started me on opiates. I was just an extremly busy school and work girl and the vicodin gave me energy and helped me focus when I was studying. I am still addicted now. The worst part of trying to quit is the lack of energy. My time cant afford to not have energy due to my work schedule. Ive even tried to take off quite a few days in a row from work to detox, but when I do all I think about is errands or things around the house I need to do and I need a pill to get the energy to do those things. Did you quit cold turkey? Have you talked to any professional about the issue? Im debating therapy. You said its been a month, are you starting to feel any natural energy yet?
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Avatar universal
I totally understand what you are saying.  It seemed as though the hydro's were like a miracle pill and you were superwoman.  I don't know what your ailment is and why they placed you on the hydros in the first place.  May I ask what you are suffering from?  I do not want to by nosy but if they help with pain and you are taking them as directed then maybe you are taking them for the right reasons.  
Maybe you should talk to your doctor about vitamins.  I know that sounds stupid but it is amazing what they can do for you.  Have you been eating and drinking fluids?  The human body is a wonderful thing.  If you catch up on your sleep and replenish your enzymes it could really help.  I wish I could just zap all of your pain away and you could enjoy life again but you have been doing well and it will get better.  Good luck and keep in touch
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